A NEW one showed up today. He looked at my battered left arm and lunged for my right arm.
I dove under the covers and hid it under a pillow with a loud "Uh uh! No!"
I presented my battered up left arm, with the big ugly black and blue bruises, the angry red staph infection, the swollen wrist, the pin-pricked fingers, the bloated red blotches from past vampires, the bandaids in assorted kid colors (I like the burple ones the best!)
He groans and asks "Why can't I have the RIGHT arm?"
"Cause I'm SAVING it!"
"Saving it for what?"
"In case I need to punch somebody out!" tee hee hee... (reason one?)
Mermaids don't go around punching anyone out. It was a joke! HAR HAR HAR!
"It's my go-to-church arm (yeah, like they are going to let me outta here for church! )
"To drive the entire staff of the hospital crazy!!!" (tee hee hee, ha ha ha, ho hoho!)
It makes me FEEL better anyhow, to have one good arm, but dang it, the nurses and vampires are all eye-balling it, they are just dying to get their grubby gloved paws on it and ruin it too, and I just won't let them.
DING DING! ROUND THREE and the MERMAID WINS (arm held high in the air!)