Friday, August 12, 2011

The Interview

Here's a transcript of Harley's recent interview. 

Q  You seem very energetic, how old are you?
A   Gee wiz, you start off with the complicated questions. Let's see,  I only have 12 toes, so I lost count at 12 months, but I haven't reached 2 years either, so I am a toe and a half year old.

Q  Who is your groomer?
A  Oh, don't make me blush,  I do my own coif-fur!  Of course my PA (Personal Paw Assistant With Thumbs) does my shampooing and brushing.   After the PA is all done, then I take over and do my own styling to come up with this chic look. 

Q  Is that a skull and crossbones on your harness?
A  Yes. With a name like Harley, I have to keep up appearances. 

Q  Were you named after the motorcycle?
A  No, I was named after I was born. 

Q  Is it true you are a half breed?
A  My mother was a French Poodle, my father, a Mexican Chihuahua, but I grew up speaking Yappaneese.

Q  What kind of work do you do?
A  I am a Bark Ranger for the Bark Service. They  provide me with a place to park my pup tent.  It's called woofcamping. 

Q  I thought you had to own a camper to do woofcamping. 
A  I do.  I call it my pup tent, since I'm a pup.  

Q  Do you drive?
A  My PA does my chauf-fur-ing.

Q  Is it true what the tabloids say, that you fell asleep at the wheel?
A  Oh those puppy-razzi are such a pain in the tail!  The tabloids lie.  That picture has made the internet rounds too.  I was sleeping at the wheel, but not while driving. Honest.  


Q  Do you pay your PA well?
A  Certainly!  I give her lots of doggy kisses, plenty of  perks and  she has lifetime job security with me. 

Q  Perks?
A  Yes,  I share my toys with her, play ball and frisbee with her,  take her hiking  plus I let her sit or lay on all the furniture too.  She's rather spoiled. 


Q  Do you like to travel?
A  Yes, I love to go sightseeing and sniffsmelling.


Q  Do you have a girlfriend?
A  Shouldn't that be plural?


Q  What is your favorite place to visit?
A  The food bowl. 


Q  What are your plans for the future?
A  I am going to take a nap.







Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid

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