Sunday, December 08, 2013

Shopping Challenged

It can be hard to pick out a meaningful gift the other person will love. Or you can buy them something useful. Or funny. Or a gift that combines both.

I once got a brand new hammer from a boyfriend. I asked him "Is this to thwack you on the head?"

In all seriousness, he said "I been wanting to throw out your old hammer, it's beat to pieces, it's dented, the handle is bad. You could hurt yourself. I was worried about you!"

We had numerous jokes over that gift for a long time.

A few days later he spilled red whine on the upholstery. I jumped up and he asked if I was going to get a rag. I said "No, I'm going to get that hammer."

Another time he innocently asked me if I wanted to do something that I did not. I answered "I'd rather drop that shiny new hammer on my toes." It was more fun than saying "Um, no, not really."

He threw my old hammer in the garbage but I salvaged it. I insisted we leave the old hammer near the dumpster, not in it. We left some other stuff there too, and by golly within the hour, someone came along and took that beat up old hammer (but left the other stuff).

One day he told me that his mother always said "Appliances are not a gift." to let his father know he better come up with something nice for her.

I replied "Obviously she forgot to mention hammers!"

We had so many laughs over that hammer. But I must admit, it's been a good hammer.

It works well with the grommet kit he gave me for my birthday...

You can also pick out something funny but useful for the giftee.

Like Slippers...

Does someone you know love that barefoot feeling on grass?

Grass Sandals! Get The Feeling Of Walking Barefoot On Grass. Anywhere. Anytime! Doesn't need mowing, but you have to water the grass from time to time so it doesn't turn brown. Comes in 4 different sizes.

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Does somebody you know have unsightly toenail fungus? These slippers will hide that nicely for them. They rarely need a pedicure.


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Somebody you know needs help with the housekeeping? These dust bunnies will do lots of dusting around the baseboards and under furniture, without them ever having to bend over.

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We all know just how quiet toddlers are around the house. But they won't be silent anymore with these cutesy cow mooing house shoes.
These mooing cow slippers boast a built in speaker that is loud and promises over 1,000 moos. That will surely solve the problem of those oh so soundless toddlers. 

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We all know somebody who can be a real bear to deal with. So now you can give them bear claw slippers. Let their feet match their personality. The claws can be trimmed back by climbing trees with them. 

Last but not least...

Is there a mama bear you're having trouble shopping for?  Get her the bear hat with attached mittens! When the mittens aren't in use, it can be wrapped around the neck like a scarf. Even includes a hidden zipper for a cell phone. (No bear wants to be caught without a cell phone.) 


And finally...
If none of this works for your shopping, simply give that hard to buy for person, my book "Hurricanes and Hangovers". Most folks love a good laugh!

Amazon sells all these gifts, they gift wrap and ship it too, without including the price tags or invoice. If all else fails, they sell Gift Cards for numerous places. Let your fingers do the walking and save time, gas, and long lines. 

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