Thursday, June 19, 2014

Growing Pains

Warning! This post might cure insomnia...

Growing Pains...
I am going through a lot of growing pains with this blog and my new one. My life is going through growing pains while I do a mountain of research on alternative therapies for my health issues. It all seems to take so much time because I am constantly learning new things and I'm pretty darn slow about it. Then there is this old motorhome, which takes up time as I try to learn then repair what I can myself or carefully research before plunking down funds for someone else to resuscitate it.

Subscriptions...
Many folks have emailed or commented about the subscriptions on this site. I subscribe to it too so I can monitor the system. I have no idea what's wrong. The emailed subscriptions seem to show up randomly and might have one post or several. Currently I have no control over it, but I have become disenchanted with this particular blogging platform, so I am switching over slowly to a different one. If you are missing my subscription, then try the subscribe link again.



Workamping...
It takes up more time than I imagined, but I do more volunteer work than is "required" for my situation. I guess it's just my nature to go the extra mile. Many folks in my shoes would do the bare minimum or even try to escape that too. I wish I could be more relaxed about it. But I just like to put my best foot and paw forward (and pray I don't trip up and land on my face.)

99% of my career life I was self-employed or working under contract as a freelancer. This is easier said than done. It requires a mountain of self discipline and a willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done... without excuses.

Excuses...
It's so easy to fall into the trap and I've certainly fallen into that trap the last few years while I've flailed around picking up the pieces. Now I am trying NOT to make excuses and accept reality. Own up to the facts. Quit making excuses and get on with life. 

Confusion...
I am often confused and overwhelmed. I know I take on too much, but here again, I've just always preferred a busy life juggling numerous things. My brain seems thirsty. But I need to focus more on the stuff I don't want to do, that still needs doing, no matter how stressful or distasteful. (Yucky poo!)

Go figure...
Money is not happiness and many folks take me to task on this. They can't be happy without a pile of money and they feel like I have no right to be so happy either. It's crazy!

I am wildly happy each day and some interpret this to mean I must be fantastically wealthy in money. Well, I must admit, I wouldn't be allergic to money in the bank again, but I feel fantastically wealthy that in spite of the nightmare I went through, I managed to get my groove back. I sorted out my basic needs, picked up the pieces and marched, crawled, wobbled and wiggled onward... more or less.

I still wake up happy and plan to keep right on doing that. In 2009 I spent much of the year waking up miserable and confused. I was caught up in a horrid situation for which there will never be justice. Sometimes life is NOT fair. Bad things happen.

Angels...
So many angels have helped me along. I never knew so many people could be so generous, kind and fantastic examples of Good Samaritans. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I fear I am never thankful enough!

Oh be Joyful, Oh Be Thankful...
I am so super uber thankful for all the wonderful angels and powers above that helped this wretched soul. You know who you are and I pray you are holding your head high.

The past...
Much of my life I made enough money to do what I wanted to do and still set some aside for a rainy day. I was wildly happy and content. The year 2009 transformed my life in ways I still don't want to talk about. The end result I spent a bloody fortune trying to recuperate and rebound. Then after 23 years working and living overseas, mostly in and around the Caribbean both on sea and land, I whimsically relocated to America. I was born here, raised here and worked my first career here. I loved my home in the Caribbean but I decided I needed distance between me and those horrifying events of 2009.

I might as well have moved to Mars. America changed a lot in those 23 years. I was and still am pretty clueless!

Now I live on a minuscule erratic income while I fight to get my health in order while dreaming of more energy to live and love and give back. Maybe in some ways, I am comforted by doing my anonymous litter picking as a bizarre thank you to all the blessed angels who went out of their way to help me out. I feel like I am leaving my mark on mother nature, that I tried to restore some of her beauty, bounty and grandeur by cleaning up what thoughtless souls have left behind in their disgrace. Maybe Cherokee blood runs strong and it's why I feel more at home with nature than anywhere else.

Even if your blissful life has come to a shattering halt, it's no excuse to stop dreaming. Pick up the pieces, shuffle forward. Cling to that life raft and savor the adventure!

Bits and Pieces...
I feel like my brain is coming back to me in little bits and pieces. I've used it to figure out how to live happily albeit in much different circumstances. Yes, it can be done! A few short years ago, I couldn't remember my date of birth or how to put my clothes on right side out. Now it seems all so silly, like a funny dream.

Sometimes I still need a dose of reality now and then but I see nothing wrong with striving to wake up happy each and every day.

My body is failing but the spirit is willing. 

Miracles...
I believe in them! I defy all odds, I am still alive and kicking, living every day like I am the richest person on planet earth. I figure if I wake up alive, it's like winning the zillion dollar lottery! The first thing I do when I wake up is SMILE.

We all just need super basic needs, once those are met, if you still aren't happy, then probably nothing will make you happy. I know that sounds harsh!

Food, shelter, clothing, community. That's the 4 basic needs. In America, it's surprisingly easy to obtain the 4 basic needs but you may have to go about it in a most unconventional way if your life has had a major interruption.

Many folks I think just aren't grateful to have their daily basic needs met.

Some want fancy cars and big payments, huge TV's and more payments, over zealous satellite and internet systems, then more techno gadgets and more payments, mansions and more payments, then they  wonder how they ended up in a job they hate, keeping up appearances with all these payments wondering why they can't run out and just follow their dreams.

Humans of course need food to survive. Unfortunately our bodies aren't designed to run around naked unless we can all live in temperate climates, even then our semi-hairless bodies just aren't built to cope with nature much. It's as if we are aliens on our own planet. Shelter, we need some sort of shelter because we are ill equipped to live without it lest we become part of the food chain or succumb to the elements of brutal weather. Community is necessary in the form of some sort of companionship, whether it's our family, someone down the street or a beloved pet. Man was not designed to live alone without some sort of companionship or community.

Sure there are a few token souls that manage to try to live without community and companionship but they are an extreme rare exception. Eventually they need or want something that forces them into contact with others. Heaven help us all.

Life is Goof but I'm loving every minute of it!


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