Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Deep Discounts

Here's some fun stuff with discounted promotional codes from Amazon. Some products also come with an additional coupon you can check off when ordering. then enter your promotional code as shown below and watch the price fall to the discounted price plus enjoy the extra coupon.

Inflatable Lounger Sofa for Travelling
60% off with multiuse code: 8PKTF48L
Reg price: $24.99 Discount price:$9.99

Electronic Mosquito Killer Lamp
68% off with multiuse code: MC3RTMJL
Reg price: $24.99 /Discount price: $7.99

Electric Bug Zapper Fly Swatter 
50% off with Code: UUNKY9L2
Reg price: $13.98 /Discount price: $6.99

Meat Tenderizer, Dual-Sided, Meat Mallet, Meat Hammer
64% off with multiuse code: JFO7XQHY
Reg price: $16.58 /Discount price: $5.96

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

The Doo-Doo List

A dog's life is never done.

My pet parent was exhausted. She said "I am going to take a nap, you be a good little doggy."

Well, poor thing she looks kind of ruff, so while she naps on the sofa, I might as well knock out her TO DO list she left on the table. She was mumbling that it was too long, too much and she was too tired. If I do it all for her, then she will have more time for me! We can go for long walks, do pee-mail,  play frisbee, play ball, we can ride the bicycle, we can play with all my toys. Oh joy! Yes, I willbe a good little doggy while she naps.

Her handwriting is a bit messy. I wonder if she meant the DOO-DOO list? I am good at doo-doo, so good at doo-doo that every time I go outside to doo-doo, she says GOOD DOGGY! So this should be a snap.

First item says PAY BILLS. Hmm, she probably meant PLAY BALLS. I am good at playing with bouncy balls, so yes, I can do that one. I like to climb up the steps to the bedroom then drop my rubber ball and it bounces down the steps and through the hallway for me to retrieve. Oh this is fun! Check it off as done.

Next on the list is FOLD LAUNDRY.  Gosh, I am great at folding laundry. I love to sit on the entire clean pile until it flattens down folded. First I have to walk all over the clean laundry in a circle going round and round many times so that it flattens down better. Then I plop down and lay on it. Every few minutes I get up and walk round and round on it some more, then lay on it again. It may take awhile, but eventually I get it flat, folded and stacked. As a bonus,  it smells nice too when I am done. She will be so happy cause it will smell fresh, just like EAU DE PAW-FUN.  So check that off as done.

Third item is vacuum. Well that is easy enough. We have this iRobot named Ronda Roomba. I just push the big round button and Ronda starts zipping around, sucking up dirt.

Fourth item is WASH DISHES. That is so easy peasy! I licked all those dishes with my tongue in under 10 minutes. Honest to goodness, she is going to be thrilled when she sees I've done all the dishes plus the pots and pans too!

Next on the list is EMPTY GARBAGE CAN. Well, I can knock that over and empty it for her. Mark that DONE (and it only took me 5 seconds!) Now the garbage can is empty and there is a pile on the floor.

Ronda Roomba is pushing the pile around.

Oh never mind, next on the list is DECLUTTER. I wasn't sure what that meant, but now that I've emptied the garbage and made clutter, I see Ronda Roomba is pushing all that garbage clutter under the couch. Looks pretty nice to me! I wonder why she doesn't use that couch storage more often? Plenty of room under there to hide a lot of stuff. Oh boy is she going to be so HAPPY with me!

Let's see, the next item on the list is wash windows. Another job for my tongue! Hey this doo-doo list is getting to be quite entertaining. If I slobber enough, the window washing goes much faster. Whee!

OK, that's crossed off,  let me check the list again. It says SHRED PAPERS. I know she hates paperwork and the mailman just dropped off a big stack of envelopes stuffed with papers. She likes to open them and growl and groan. I can rip them all open with my teeth, then shred it all into tiny itty bitty pieces AND growl at them just like she does when she opens them. Won't she be so proud of me! Ronda Roomba is vacuuming up all the little shredded bits of paper and pushing some of the ones she spits back out under the couch. Wow, we sure are getting a lot done today.

Back to the list, it reads WATER PLANTS. Well, I can just lift a leg here and there and call that a done deal. A sprinkle here, a sprinkle there, now all the plants have water.

Checking the list again, she has written CHANGE BED. Um, OK. Let's see, I can drag the covers off the bed. Let me jump up and down on the pillows and waddle my butt across them.  It sure looks different without the covers in the way and the pillows are unique looking now. I guess that is what she meant by change bed.

No idea why she thought this list was long and hard. I have done it ALL for her. See? She said "Be a good doggy while I nap" and she is going to LOVE me  when she wakes up and sees what a great big help a little doggy can be. 

Maybe I will do an extra chore for her! I will give her a doggy kiss and clean her teeth while she snores away.

She is the luckiest pet parent in the world. She has ME to do her doo-doo list.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Technology has been super messy lately and that's why I haven't been able to post here. I hope to keep writing 6 days a week, just that my computer, the internet, and the new and improved cantankerous super slow programs have to all agree at once. When they don't, I move onto other things. I can't sit at the computer for an hour trying to do a 5 minute task. It's too stressful.

Funny how technology used to speed me up and save me precious time. Now it's purposely designed to be slow, cumbersome and waste precious  time.

I was forced into a new phone recently because my cell phone company lied to me and said my simple flip phone was bad. In reality, as I found out days later, they had some major glitch in their system. I ran into other people who had been told their phones were bad when Verizon cell service stopped working in this area. At the time I was using a simple flip phone and not a smart phone. The rate was pretty high for just basic service of 700 minutes and no frills. 

Shockers, I have never done texting before as I am still confused as to the usefulness of this feature. I see people attached to their phones rapidly moving their thumbs but it just wasn't something that appealed to me. However, I saw a friend of mine (who also doesn't like texting) use speech-to-text to answer a text. He can't type so he said a sentence and it was translated to text and sent on its way. That intrigued me. When people text me, I can verbally answer their text by saying "Call me". 

Too funny!

I must admit when AOL worked marvelously a few years back and had the instant chat feature, I did use it to chat from the Caribbean to friends in the US and avoid the $4-6 per minute long distance calls we were surcharged in the British Virgin Islands.

Recently I had discovered while selling or buying used things that not having texting ability can be a huge disadvantage. Also when shopping around for a bargain RV, I found out many folks won't answer their phone, they want you to text them! How nutty. Seems to me if they want to sell something, they would answer the dadgum phone when they place an ad. Ditto for selling. I was trying to help a friend sell some stuff, they asked me to type up the ads for them and I am a terrible typist but they have no computer and needed help. I am so backwards these days, yet I used to be on the cutting edge, but those days are long gone.  Neither one of us text and we discovered that even trying to sell things on Craigslist requires texting. Many buyers won't talk on the phone until they've texted back and forth. Even crazier!

So I switched to because they operate off Verizon towers but offer cheap rates and free phones (and pricey phones one can buy.) I read somewhere they are actually owned by Verizon.  My new rate is $23.70 a month, so I am pretty happy with that. Of course it means no "data" or internet once I am out of wifi range, but hopefully I can make and receive calls.

I picked a free Android phone, as the apple phones were not part of the freebies. I had been learning Apple-ism on another device thanks to an angel that gave me their old Ipad. It's too big to carry around as a phone, but I was learning nifty things now and then by spending a few minutes on it here and there when I had wifi.  My wifi shot up 40% in cost and I had to cancel it but it seems like I have come up with a work around solution. I had NO idea that phones were so different. I thought a phone was a phone was a phone. How wrong I am!

Finally the phone arrived. I tried to play with it for a few days, but one must hook it up to make it work for calling. It kept wanting to take over my entire life and link and hook things that I don't want linked and hooked. Eventually I took the plunge and set it up.  It was a nightmare! Still is!

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Lawdy mercy!

Could they make answering a phone any more complicated? For a week, I couldn't answer incoming calls. I still have a lot of trouble with it. I don't understand why I can't just push a button and say hello. I have to swoop or tap or click or push or do all three at once. I am still unclear why I can't simplify this or why it's so important to make answering a phone call so complicated. 

Making calls out was even more cumbersome. They couldn't move my phone numbers over for me, all those nifty stored numbers in my old phone. The dialpad as they call it is "hidden" on the new phone and I don't understand the purpose of hiding the numbers from me.  I need the number pad to dial the frigging phone number! But that is hidden. I don't understand why it's important to make an outgoing call a lengthy  complicated affair.

So I have to manually enter each phone number and go through a big lengthy process to store it. The keyboard is super tiny, I honestly don't understand the how and why of a tiny keyboard and trying to type in someone's name such as Bill Smith and it comes out as Vokl Snuyh.I was trying to correct that when I spazzed out and pushed something the wrong way and now Vokl Snuyh is stuck in my phone for Bill Smith. Even worse, I was doing this at 5am because I was up early having coffee and figured I would spend a few minutes "fixing" my phone and guess what I accidentally called Bill Smith at 5am because I didn't understand what the phone what was doing! Bill Smith likes to sleep until 9 or 10am so when I heard the phone suddenly start ringing, I was trying to hang up but I couldn't figure out how to end the call because my screen had gone blank. 

Luckily Bill Smith's phone went to voice mail where I apologized profusely. But I still couldn't hang up the phone! Bill  Smith called me back later (actually it was 3 more days before I could figure out how to answer his incoming call!)  to say he could hear me talking to the phone, saying funny things like how the heck do I hang this up? My screen has gone blank! Ugh! Screech! Then he heard me scream and mutter something unprintable. I also said very unkind things about the phone company, the phone itself and technology in general.  When we finally talked... he was laughing so hard because  apparently his voice mail was recording my movements and noises for 10 minutes. GOOD GRIEF. I am mortified!

Now Bill Smith knows when I am super frustrated with technology, I can turn to potty mouth. Oh dear me. I normally do not do that, but I was plenty frustrated with my phone. I thought I was home alone muttering to myself about this blankety blank phone that is so ridiculously complicated that receiving or making a simple phone call is a huge cumbersome chore.

So Bill Smith, I owe you yet another apology, but I am glad you found my embarrassing message hilarious. One of these days I will figure out how to change your name from Vokl Snuyh to Bill Smith and might even figure out how to call you at a preferred time and not at 5am.

Life is goof.