Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dating


I just know there is a skinny person inside, but I keep her quiet  with chocolate. 

Out of sheer loneliness I joined a dating site. No takers yet. I guess men don't want a traveling lady in a little old motorhome with a monkey dog. For leisure activities I put the truth.  While thousands say they like to take moonlight walks on the beach, I have camped at the beach many times and never seen this happening with singles or couples. So where are all these folks on the moonlight beaches?

Is this just Hollow Woody fluff?

So I put down the truth.

I like to walk on the beach and poke at dead things with a stick. 

The sad thing is that thousands of men are on the dating site who simply want women to ride on the back of their motorcycle on the weekends. Well, i would like to ride on the front too.  So I wrote a few and said I would ride with them if we could switch places and they ride on the back half the time.

I might as well have asked for the Hope Diamond.

No takers. Not one.

However, I did get a few incoherent replies possibly suggesting I might be insane.

For me, riding on the back of a motorcycle is fun for the first 45 minutes, after that it's tedious, holding onto the rib cage of the driver, staring at the back of his head or helmet, or straining to see around his head, in such a way I get a crook in my neck. It seems the guys who want women to ride on their bikes, never have a king/queen seat which enables the usually shorter female to have a view.

After all, we want bugs in our teeth too!

And what about those sissy bars, so the person in back  can ride in comfort. Have those gone out of style?  I surely hope not. Should I inquire if they have a side-car for the doggy?  He is going to need  Doggles  too.



You know what they say about women my age looking for a man that is warm, caring, kind, sensitive and well groomed...

He already has a boyfriend.

So I've withdrawn from the dating site. Maybe Harley dog would like to try his luck.
 
He wants to list himself on a doggy dating database:

Slim and trim. Likes to go out. Enjoys cuddling, dancing, traveling and camping. Favorite pastimes include hiking, walking, running,  golfing.  Let's go smell the flowers together and take turns watering them. 


2 comments:

  1. Dear Miss Mermaid,
    I just want to thank you for making me laugh OUT LOUD after a very long day. I love your post. I don't understand why you didn't have any takers. I think your idea to trade and ride in the front of the bike half of the time was quite reasonable. :-)

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  2. U hurt my stitches!!!! Loved reading this one :) Too bad U took Monkey's jewels away!

    The Troutman (Soon)

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