Saturday, June 06, 2015

Party Confusion

The good old days...

I stumbled across this anecdote I wrote in 2002 about a party in the late 80's or early 90's when I was working in Venezuela on the sailing yacht Caribana. Enjoy!

 I was at a dock party in Venezuela.  The languages being spoken were many and English was not the dominant one. 
       It was a bit chaotic as I tried my rusty Spanish on an Italian who was getting a translation from a Peruvian.  Two Frenchmen were hosting the party and I tried to thank them in French, much to their amusement. 
       The Germans were alternately crunching out Dutch and offering interpretations in English and Russian.
       My Czechoslovakian captain was flirting with a young lady of striking beauty  who arrived. 
       Her beauty became the instant focus of attention and the party kind of quieted down, as we listened to the Czech interview her in English, which was not her native language.
       He asked her what she liked to do in her spare time.  She replied to the hushed crowd,  "My family and I love to go pissing!  Every chance we get, we go out and piss.  I like to piss every day, or every night, though sometimes we don't get to.  But, to me, being able to piss every chance I get,  just makes life worth living. I just got back from pissing, that is why I was late to the party. I think tomorrow, I will go out and piss some more.  I just can't get enough of pissing. If you like, I can bring you fresh piss tomorrow!"
       This was met by quiet astonishment then laughter from the English speaking contingent, then it had to be translated into many other languages so everyone could appreciate her odd activities.
       The poor girl looked aghast and after several attempts, somebody finally got it all translated back to her, and of course she turned beet red while the laughter died down around her.
       Finally, a young Venezuelan, who was still learning the English language, figured it all out and with great glee, he grabbed the hapless beauty,  taking her near the water's edge, he pointed to his head and said "Remember!"
       Then he pointed at the water and said "Piss, IN!"  and then while pointing upwards he yelled "Fish OUT!"
       "You and your  family love to go FISHING!"

Funny, it seems like only yesterday...




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