More Comedy

Life just keeps getting funnier.

I woke up alive and tried to giggle about the sheer joy of another modern day miracle.

This trip should be called The Misadventures of A Girl, an RV and her dog.

Today it was a wardrobe malfunction. The second one I've had in 2 weeks. I guess *ahem* some of these old clothes are way past prime. So this pair of leggings is going in the trash. I really should burn them, especially after embarrassing me the way they did!

Then folks can say "She has smoking hot legs!"

It was a c-c-c-cold day today. I had to venture out for bandages and to take care of Harley dog who was having a dreadlocked matting crisis. I was afraid of being accused of severe doggy neglect but I just couldn't get his tangled fur manageable again. We were both becoming miserable over this situation.

I've always done his bathing and grooming, which *MIGHT* be why he always looks so goofy. (Ditto for me too!)

I almost cried as they carted him off to be spit, polished, brushed, combed and dematted. They removed his harness vest and cozy sweater which upset him when they handed it to me. The look on his face was oh so sad, like I was abandoning him for good. It about tore a hole in my heart. He has never been to a doggy groomer before. But I am at my wits end here. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the craziness all around me lately.

I left to go get some bandages, yogurt, bananas, juice and a pill reminder thingy so I can keep up with all these herbs, supplements and magic potions I am doing to appease the grim ripper. I dropped my pill thingy the other day and Saturday blew it's lid. I tried patching it back together but it still wouldn't close correctly. Swept up the wheel estate and found assorted pills. Didn't realize I had dropped so many since sweeping last time. Maybe there is a hole in the back of my neck. I toss them down my throat and they fly out the back of my head.

Anyhow... right there in the store I notice a breeze on my thighs. Hmm... shouldn't be feeling wind on my legs when I am indoors in long pants, well long thick leggings, that I guess are pretty old by now. I was mortified when I saw thigh skin instead of leg seams.

I guess the stitching down the seams of my pants had rotted or worn out or left the country or something mysterious. (Aliens stole my stitching for their space ship!) On both sides too! So there I am, out in public with my basket of shopping and my britches flapping around my legs, pretty as you please.

Good grief.

Well, I certainly entertained the shoppers! I mean what do you do? Go to school supplies, rip open a stapler package and repair your clothes on aisle 4? Seemed like a plan to me.

So... 268  staples later... an employee in a suit came down the aisle, suggesting in whispered tones that I might be happier outside their store, rather than inside their store stapling up my leggings on aisle 4. His pants seemed a tad long so I offered to hem them up with a clicketty-clack of the stapler I was holding, but he said that really wasn't necessary.

Sheesh... you would think they had never seen a lady staple up her drawers on aisle 4 before.

Reminds me of the time I was climbing off my little old sailboat in a beautiful but casual Caribbean dress on a remote island. My date was taking me out dancing. We lived on separate sailboats and he had come over in his dinghy to pick me up for the ride ashore. This dress had a crazy handkerchief hem that hung down in various pointy ends. Somehow the ladder on the boat snagged my dress and opened up a vertical seam. I scrambled back down below in the boat, grabbed the big roll of duct tape, took off my dress, turned it inside out, then taped up the seam. I put it back on and you couldn't even tell that it was held together with duct tape. My date, upon learning how I had repaired and redressed in under 2 minutes, was laughing himself silly.

But we went out, we danced on the beach to heart throbbing calypso and that dress swirled around beautifully with the hidden duct tape holding the offending seam in place.

When another sailing lady commented on my dress, I told her how I almost didn't get to wear it but duct tape came to the rescue.

Somewhere in my memory box is a great photograph someone took that night and later gave me a copy. It's me in my fun dress, my date and two other friends and we are all laughing ourselves silly. (Probably about the duct taped dress.)

Life is goof.

I decided to hike back to my motorhome, find something else to wear and go fetch my puppy dog. Somehow, in my haste to get my precious cargo back, I simply jumped in the driver's seat and drove to the groomers. I was half way in the shop's door when I realized *GOOF* I hadn't changed my pants, so there I was with staples up and down my thighs holding my leggings together.

But I could see them bringing my bemused puppy up front. He looked so scared and bewildered. Finally he saw me and went nuts. We had to spend a few minutes with sloppy dog kisses (yuck!) and lots of loving and hugging.

He smelled wonderful, his fur was silky and the dreads and mats were history. I told them not to cut or trim his fur, except to remove the dreads and mats if they wouldn't untangle. The groomer said "Oh you want the natural look!"

I like his wild looking fur but I guess they thinned it out some as they groomed him.

Now he seems a half pound lighter and some of his "skirt" in the rear is gone but we're both plenty happy. Now I can stay on top of the bathing and brushing again. I am oh so jealous. I haven't been to the hairdresser in years (my hair keeps getting longer and longer and longer.) I used to tell joke that if I cant afford a hairdresser for me, my dog doesn't need a groomer.

But, sigh... he beat me to it. Life is goofy indeed.

Pictures coming soon (of the doggy do!)

The RV, the dog and I are about  patched up enough to hit the road and continue our southerly migration. Slowly going nowhere with lots of giggles (and a few staples too!)

~~~~~~~~~

Shop Amazon

Earth's Biggest Selection, Delivered To Your Door
Plan Christmas from your computer
Gift wrapping and deliveries to multiple addresses
Using this link helps a mermaid and her doggy
And we Thank You oh so much!