Monday, October 04, 2010

Can A New Toilet Seat Bring Happiness?

It's 4am and I can't sleep. The pain is annoying me wide awake. I want to sleep, but the pain is awful. I put some herbal stuff on the offending area and say a prayer for relief. Then I start writing to distract the brain from the pain.

My readers are my inspiration. Imagine my surprise when I noticed my readers of last week, came from all over:

United States 1,037
Canada 125
United Kingdom 60
Antigua and Barbuda 16
France 15
South Korea 15
Vietnam 12
Iraq 11
Anguilla 10
Netherlands Antilles 9
Simply Amazing!  Thank you ALL for reading about my misadventures.  A super big thank you to my supporters who buy my book, (Hurricanes and Hangovers) and/or buy a subscription (see end of post). 

Life is good. 

So good, I bought a new toilet seat. Yippie!   Granted, there are far more important things I need (like food) but the toilet became semi-urgent to protect my toothbrush and washcloths and other things that fall out of the cabinet after cargo shifting from driving the beast around on lumpy bumpy roads.
The toilet seat that came with the motorhome was yellowed. I tried nearly every product known to man to remove the yellowing. I used all my natural products and a few unatural products. Friends loaned me  squirts of their various exotic cleaning products to try.

The yellowed seat that was driving me nutty!

Nothing worked.

It was maddening. A new Thetford Aqua Magic IV toilet seat  with lid is a whopping $40-$50.  Gotta sell a lot MORE books to afford that! So it was shelved to the bottom of the wish list. Afterall the old seat was functional, just that it never looked clean and that was driving me crazy.

I don't mind old stuff.

I am old, the motorhome is old, my boat was old, my house was old. I don't mind old things, but I would like to clean things up a bit. Make things look nice.  

It's a real shame Thetford couldn't build their Aqua Magic toilet to use a common household seat.  Grrr...  You would think in most cases, the toilet will far outlive the seat.  If I had my choice, I would put a padded toilet seat
on it, because those aren't c-c-c-cold in the winter or dead of night when you sit on them.
My toilet lid was already broken on one side, when I bought the motorhome, but the other side was still functional. I like to keep the toilet closed at all times when not in use. That is because there are cabinets in the bathroom. Cargo shifts when I drive. So when I open up the cabinets, I don't want my toothbrush or happy pills (St. John's Wort)  bouncing out of the cabinet and falling down the toilet.

Is that too much to ask in life?

Could be...
My Caribbean sailing friend joined me on a trip recently and we spent nearly 2 weeks making our way through Ohio, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont and New Hampshire.
My bathroom has a loud efficient exhaust fan in it. I recomend to my friend(s) when they use the motorhome bathroom, that they turn the fan on. That way you can do whatever you are doing in there in complete privacy, and all the other person hears is a loud fan. Pretty nifty, eh?
So above the roar of the fan, I heard my friend loudly exclaim "Ut Oh!  Oh No!  Oh sh*t, that M*#$%^  F)*(&^%! blankety blank toilet seat broke!"
Upon inspection, it was just the other seat hinge which is molded into the lid, had broken off completely.
The yellowed seat was still functional, but ugly as ever, as now you could not close the lid on it.

Oh dear.  Add that to the growing list of repairs to make. Right past the refrigerator latch is broken. The freezer latch, thankfully works.
My friend quickly promised to buy a new toilet seat. His face clouded over when I told him I had already priced them at around $50. I told him, it was only 16 years old, and wasn't it just a crying shame they don't build toilet seats to last.

So one day while we were chasing down a new 30 amp electrical replacement plug, when we ran over mine through a comical miscommunication when trying to move the RV a few feet...  well we were beginning to feel like the Klutz brothers.

Add that to the list.

Just past the awning struts.

Oh and the awning frame knob.

It unscrewed, and bounced off somewhere between Coolville, Ohio and the Daisy Barn in New York. Let's see, it was Lake Erie where we left the water pressure regulator behind at the campground.

Add that to the list.

Oh, and the hot water tank has a leak. I think it's from the emergency pressure release valve.

The list is getting longer, not shorter.

Oh dear.

We pride ourselves on being handy and improving things, not breaking them.  But stuff happens when you are having fun.
We found a new toilet seat at an RV dealer while looking for the 30 amp electrical replacement plug. The Aqua magic IV deat was fifty something dollars and came in Ivory. The color, not the tusk.
It took me another week to install it, as the directions were rather depressing.
Who installs a toilet 11 inches from the wall?  
Especially in a motorhome where every tenth of an inch counts? 
What was Thetford thinking when they designed this contraption?

It took me nearly a week to figure out PLAN B.

I finally got the new toilet throne installed. I am sooooooooooo happy. It looks so clean, and nice. The toilet seat is a sterile white now.

Yes, a new toilet seat can bring happiness...
So, I am still in a brief holding pattern, resting up, battling with health demons and making simple repairs.  I am currently parked in a friend's driveway in New Hampshire. But it's getting c-c-c-cold, so soon I will head to warmer weather.
In the meantime, I rely on my tiny winter wardrobe, a mattress warmer and a
Dear Miss Mermaid
 relies on Angels, Subscriptions and Book Sales
THANK YOU for your support.
Step One,  Make a PaymentStep 2, Sign up your Email

Subscribe to Dear Miss Mermaid
Delivered to your Email!  
Subscribe to
Dear Miss Mermaid...the OTHER Blog!
by Email  (no spam, just the blog)

***You can buy a subscription without the email updates.
Hurricanes and Hangovers by Dear Miss MermaidBuy Dear Miss Mermaid's Book:

Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid

No comments:

Post a Comment

I read every comment and publish all but spam and hate mail.

If you're an anonymous user, I hope you remember to include your name or nickname in the comment box so I have a clue.

Thank you for commenting. I love hearing from you!