Saturday, October 30, 2010

Police Looking for a Mermaid?

I didn't do it. I swear.

But there they were.

The police. Five cars and eight police people.  Is that what you call them when there are male and female police men and women?  Police people.

The cars in front of me, were waved along without any hassle. Then they got to me and Wolfman Harley. A police person (female to be exact). She held up her hand for me to stop.

I had just come off Interstate 385 onto Butler Road in Mauldin, South Carolina.

I barely rolled my window down, pretending to be extremely cold. Wolfman Harley let out a loud bark, to let the police person know he was watching her closely.

I told Wolfman to be quiet.  Amazingly, he obeyed, then curled back up in his comfy cat bed on the passenger seat. 

The police lady barked next.  "Where are you coming from?"

I didn't want to explain where I had been.

It's complicated.

So, I said "New Hampshire!"

Incredibly, the police female laughed.  And I thought those government types never had a sense of humor.

"Where are you going?"  she demanded next.

I didn't want to explain that either.

It's complicated.

So I said "To my mother's house."

Nevermind my mother died 17 years ago. If the lady cop knew this and pointed it out to me, I would act clueless. I often am clueless anyhow.

"Where does your mother live?" She barked another question.

My gosh!  Am I in America?  I was flustered at all these questions.

"In Mauldin."  I replied as I vaguely gestured my hand towards the road in front of me.  Seven cops stood ahead, staring back at me.

"Let me see your Driver's license."

I dug around the floorboard for my purse, then reached around the seat, finding it there. I pulled out my wallet and began searching for my elusive license. The cop was shining her flashlight at my wallet. I found discount cards, business cards, my old Work Permit card from the British Virgin Islands.

I kept digging and explained, "I know I have one, but no one's asked to see it in a long time."

Finally I found it and passed it out the window to her. I still kept it rolled up high, so she couldn't reach in and unlock my door.

I don't trust American cops. No sirree. Not since they threw me in jail for 36 hours by mistake, then released me with nary an apology. Meanwhile they had lost my shoes and purse, plus kept all my cash.  I was thrust upon a cold sidewalk, barefoot, without my purse, without my money and with a severely swollen face.  That was long ago and far away, but still, it scares me to think about it.

I don't even like American cops. They have too much power to wield against innocent victims.

I prayed she wouldn't insist I get out of the motorhome. I was thinking I would just floor the accelerator and speed off in the night. Give them some excitement. A high speed chase with a mermaid in a motorhome.

The police woman walked away, carrying my license with her. Dang. I need that thing to drive with. Dang.

She went and stared at my rear license tag, then came back, gave me my license, told me to have a good night and waved me onwards.

She never mentioned the tail lights or brake lights. I had just discovered about an hour earlier, that neither were working.

I slowly drove off in a daze.

Lucky me!  A free mermaid!

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