Wednesday, December 12, 2018

The Job

It's important to understand how to wear your employee uniform correctly.

Speaking of people that look for ways to lose their job...

I still laugh about the "brother-in-law" story.

A good friend of mine has always been a hard working no-excuses type of person. He fell in love and married a delightful young lady. Unfortunately she came with a brother who could mimic a sloth perfectly.

Her dutiful husband carried his lunch to work, spent weekends working on their old cars keeping them running, paid rent on a tiny apartment while any and all extra cash went into the house savings account.

Three years later this young couple is making a hefty down payment on a home in suburbia. 

Remember the wife came with a brother who had trouble keeping the basics together. His parents had somehow managed to finally get him out the door to his own apartment and job. Problem is he had trouble keeping a job because he showed up late so often or failed to show up at all.

The parents refused to support him or allow him to move back home.

One day my friend comes home to find his  brother-in-law living on his couch, eating his food, watching his cable TV. His wife promised him this was just temporary.

Day after day he comes home to find his  brother-in-law living on his couch, eating his food, watching his cable TV. Week after week. Month after month.

It seems the brother-in-law had become so fond of the couch he had no intentions of moving off of it.

Finally in a fit of anger my friend starts lining up job interviews for his brother-in-law. When a box truck delivery job came available, he trained his brother-in-law in the basics of driving a large truck.

Miraculously the brother-in-law got the job!

But on day one he begs and borrows money from his sister for lunch rather than make a sack sandwich to take with him.

That evening my friend comes home with a list of apartments for the brother-in-law to go see about renting.

But he has lost his job. 

Seems he went to work, picked up the truck, spent an hour loading it full of deliveries then decided a sausage biscuit would taste good about now.

After all he had worked a solid hour!

So he took the big truck through the drive-through. Most drive-throughs are not made for big trucks and neither was this one.

After tearing down the sign and the rain roof and calling his new employer to ask about insurance on the truck, he was promptly fired.

An hour after his new job  began.

He gleefully moved back to the couch and cable TV.

That weekend my friend packed up all his brother-in-law's clothes, tossing them in the back of his vehicle. Then he convinced the brother-in-law that he had the perfect job for him and was going to give him a ride to the interview.

He drove the guy two towns over to a church. "There" he said, go inside and apply for work. As the guy got out of his car, he tossed his sack of clothes at him. "Here, you are going to need these!" Then he sped away leaving his bewildered brother-in-law dumped at the homeless shelter.

Seems he had read about their lack of volunteers to paint the place, so he told his brother-in-law, here's a place that has promised you painting work. He forgot to mention there was no pay involved but he could sleep on a cot that night and enjoy a bowl of beans they fed the homeless.

That weekend for the first time in 14 months, my friend reclaimed his couch and cable TV. He also spent an hour changing out his locks. Good bye brother-in-law, hello freedom.

Life is goof.

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Life is goof!