Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas Carols for Racing Sailors

 For the Sailors and Racers, I offer up these wonderful tunes, rewritten for Christmas:
# 1. ( Sing to the tune , "Jingle Bells" )
Hard a- lee hard a-lee ,
Tacking all the way .
Oh what fun it is to ride -
a High Performance sleigh - eeee
Spectra here , Carbon there,
what fun to spend the buck.
Dollars make us win today.
Hey ! nothings left to luck
OOOOOOOh !
Hard a-lee, hard a-lee
winning is the way,
Dig really deep my sailor friend,
If you want to play-eeee
Melges here , J boat there
See how fast they go,
If you want to get a first
spend money , don't cha know.
# 2. ( Sing to the tune of " O christmas tree " also know as " O Tannenbaum"
O, wooden boat! my wooden boat!
It is my hope you stay afloat ,
O, worms and rot, I want you not,
There's bottom paint on , coat by coat.
I varnished here
I varnished there
I used brushes of - the finest hair.
O, Wooden boat! my wooden boat!
All this up-keep gets my goat.
# 3. ( Sing to the tune " O little town of Bethlehem " )
Oh little boat of fiber-glass,
How still I see thee lie.
With blisters on your bottomside,
the size of an apple pie.
But in the dark wet brewing,
delamination grows .
Neglected years, the owner's tears,
West System Epox-y-ose !
# 4. (Sing to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas" ) (for you non racers, a big fast DNS is a racing term for "did not start")
On the first day of racing , my new crew brought to me
A big fat D-eeee N S.
On the second day of racing , my new crew brought to me
Two tangled sheets and a big fat D-eee N S
On the third day of racing , my new crew brought to me
Three bad tacks , two tangled sheets and a big fat D-eee N S.
On the fourth day of racing my , new crew brought to me ...
four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks , two tangled sheets and a big fat D-eee N S
On the fifth day of racing , my new crew brought to me ,...
Five accidental jibes .... four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S..
On the sixth day of racing , my new crew brought to me.
Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S..
On the seventh day of racing, my new crew brought to me..
Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S..
On the eighth day of racing, my new crew brought to me..
Eight beers a -drinking, Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S..
On the Ninth day of racing , my new crew brought to me ..
Nine winch handles swimming, Eight beers a -drinking, Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S.
on the tenth day of racing , my new crew brought to me ....
Ten halyards let loose, Nine winch handles swimming, Eight beers a -drinking, Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S.
On the Eleventh day of racing , my new crew brought to me ..
Eleven Chute poles broken, Ten halyards let loose, Nine winch handles swimming, Eight beers a -drinking, Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes ,four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S.
On the Twelth day of racing , my new crew brought to me ....
Twelve headsails overboard, Eleven Chute poles broken, Ten halyards let loose, Nine winch handles swimming, Eight beers a -drinking, Seven sea-sick throw ups, Six winches back wound, Five accidental jibes, four spinnaker wraps , three bad tacks, two tangled sheets and a big Fat D-eee N S.

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