Thursday, February 10, 2011

The One She Hated

It's raining. 
The sky is crying.
I am howling. 


Doom and gloom.


My heart aches. 
My mind wanders.


Wondering.
What if.


It rains.
I weep.
Puppy stares.


Confusion.


I woke up this morning.
Feeling apprehensive.
Trying to convince myself.
It will get better.
Persevere. 


The phone rang.
It was early.
Very early.


I thought.
This is bad.
Somehow, I knew.
Before I said Hello.
That I would wish a thousand times.


Please don't break my heart. 


I sat down.
I said Hello.
I listened.
My upper lip quivered.
My eyes filled with tears.


My dear friend delivered very sad news.
Very bad news.


My heart is breaking.


Someone near and dear.
Very near and dear. 
Just dropped dead.


In that horrible hospital. 
Faraway.


The same one.
She hated.


The same one.
I was in last.


In a distant place.
On a tiny island.


She hated that hospital.


I know.
She hated that place.
She told me so.


On a summer day.
So far away.


She visited me.
Once.
Briefly.


In that horrible place.


She told me.
This is appalling.


The peeling paint.
Blood splatters.
On the wall.
Above my bed. 
Where I laid my head.


She turned green.
Gagging.
She ran outside.


I chased her.
In a wheel chair.


Down the hall.
Out the doors.


She said "I'm so sorry.
I can never come back.
Not here.
To see you.
Not again.
This is enough.
To scare me to death!"


We laughed.
We giggled.
She left.


She gave me hugs.
She gave me kisses.
And off she went.


The nurses came.
Taking me back.
To that horrible place.


She called me.
Every day.
To see if I was there.


She never set foot.
In that awful place.
Never again, she said.


I told her.
It's OK.
I understand. 


Hours clicked by.
Days marched by.
Nights lingered on.


Weeks passed.
One day.
I had enough.
I came home.


Weak.
Tired.
Sick.
Scared. 


Home was wrecked.
Pirates and thieves.


My cats consoled me.
In a heap.
We slept.


She rushed over.
With hugs.
She gave me kisses.


That was then.
This is now.


Thousands of miles away.
We stayed in touch.


Suddenly.
Today.
She is dead.
Just like that.
Gone.
In a flash.


My heart is breaking.


The worst was yet to come.


Later today.
I learned.
The worst.


Her final brief moments.
Were in that horrible place.


The one she hated.


In loving memory of my near and dear departed friend.  
God rest your soul.
I am so sorry. 
So terribly sorry. 
Your final moments were in that horrible place. 
The one you hated.






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2 comments:

  1. I am sorry for your grief and sadness.
    May the memories you have keep your soul full and the love that surrounds you help your heart to heal.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered the loss of a good friend. Try not to think about where she was when she died, but where she is now. And cherish the good memories you have of her.

    ReplyDelete

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