Sunday, July 31, 2011

Rewriting The News Dear Miss Mermaid Style

Perhaps the sign hanger shouldn't have alcoholic beverages either. 

Sometimes I want to rewrite the boring news headlines.  Such as:

Anderson Independent Version:

Trooper says amputee had cocaine fitted in prosthetic leg
By Mike Ellis 
Anderson Independent Mail 

My Version:
Drug Dealer Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On

Associated Press Version

Post office closings would make long hikes harder 
(An article about potential closings of rural post offices along the Appalachian trail where hikers often pick up their pre-mailed food supplies)

My Version
Hikers Moan, Stomachs Groan

Associates Press Version

My Version
2 Million Coke Didacticts

Now a bit of fun with my pictures...

Blue Ox Plows Nicely

 Maintenance employee claims work-order read "Deliver picnic table to lake" 

Cat burglar surrenders to police. 

Cat burglar  caught with missing TV. 
Claims he only "borrowed" it to watch Animal Planet. 

Sorry, got to run now folks, my neighbors are hosting a drop-in and I don't want to be late for my plane.

Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid

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