Saturday, October 26, 2013

Auto Correct

Interesting tidbits about my whacked out friend...

He has nothing to do with computers and vows not to touch one until technology figures out how he can download a bottle of Rum. On the other hand he heard that you can be whoever you want to be while on the internet, so why do so many people choose to be stupid?

His neighbor is having a Halloween party and he was invited. When I asked what he was wearing, he said he is going to dress up as a drunk neighbor.

He said he couldn't wait for Thanksgiving with his boring relatives. At least he could get drunk and pass out, but everyone would think the turkey did it.

He is not much on housekeeping since his girlfriend vanished. Matter of fact, he said there was no need to decorate his house for Halloween. He already has real cobwebs all over it.

Recently he stayed in a fancy hotel for the week. He's a tad paranoid about maids rustling through his stuff. With a big black marker in his hand, he altered the "Do Not Disturb" hang tag for the door to "Already Disturbed". Then he attached a post-it note to the bottom of that and scribbled "Proceed With Caution".

So far no one's made the bed and he finds fresh towels stacked outside his door.

I asked him whatever happened to his girlfriend. He said well, first he came home and found a strange note on the fridge. It said "This is not working. I've moved to my mom's house."

He opened the refrigerator, the light came on and the beer was icy cold. He called his girlfriend to tell her it was working fine now. Meanwhile he can hear her mother screeching in the background "He's crazy!  He's crazy!"

So he told his girlfriend "See what I mean? People like her are the reason people like me need medicating!"


  1. He's probably much better off without the girlfriend.

  2. Does your friend have a twin?
    I know someone who is just like him.


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