How To Change The Weather

Harley sleeps on a heated bed that was gifted to him, lucky dog!

I figured out how to make the cold snap in Florida go away.

The first cold snap I rode with a friend to Walmart. I looked at sweaters. The only one I sort of liked was cut really strange. When I tried it on, the weird hem just made me look like a washed up refugee wearing a sweater knitted by a 9 finger drunk with a severe astigmatism.
Not the look I prefer.
The sweater was so thin, it didn't offer any real warmth.
I left Walmart empty handed.
Boy was I glad not to have to wait in the tortuous cashier line I passed.
I don't understand how they can have 22 lanes with only 2 open and people backed up silly trying to pay for purchases.
Are cashiers that hard to hire?

I survived the cold snap with piles of clothes looking like a vertical blimp.
This was at a time when I was trying to get furnace repairs accomplished.
The portable heater I was loaned just wasn't up to the job of keeping a drafty RV warm in below freezing temps so I was having to pile on assorted mismatched clothes to stay warm yet still feeling like my blood was turning to ice.
Suddenly the cold snap was gone and the repairman came to fix the furnace.
Life was good.

Not for long.
Another frigid cold snap rolled around.
In spite of covering up my outdoor plants, many died.
Seeing that I was so cold and looking a tad ridiculous, unable to move my arms with so many shirts stacked on, my friend offered to drive me to a thrift store to look for a heavy sweater.
Searching the women's side, I found nothing except a beautiful dry-clean only sweater.
I live 28 miles from the nearest dry cleaner.
Dry cleaning is not in my efficient budget, even if there was a close one I could bike to.
A few dressy blazers and jackets but no sweaters.
So I checked the men's department.

Found a beautiful sweater, tried it on and bought it for $2.00
At home I felt so snug and warm in my nearly new sweater.
It was long giving me lots of warm coverage.

I walked the dog and received a compliment on my beautiful sweater.
WOW.
Never expected that!

The next day my friend noticed a new thrift store had relocated nearby, so we went there to have a look see.
Lots of prom dresses and pajamas. A few women's sweaters but none to fit me.
Over to the men's department and there was a gorgeous high end sweater that looked like it had never been worn.
It was a beautiful creamy color super warm and stylish when I tried it on.

Is my body built like a man's?
The fit was perfect for me, hanging long like a sweater dress.
Now my rump could stay warm too (this must have been one tall dude!)
The sleeves were a little long, but looked nice rolled or shoved up around my wrists.
No price tag.
Ut oh.
Party over, they probably want a princely sum for such a nice new sweater.

I took it to the cashier. She said "Oh it's senior day and you can have it for $1.50"
What? I look like a senior?
For $1.50 I bit my tongue and said "Thank you!"

At home I snuggled up in my new used sweater piled over leggings and a long tunic, then I took the garbage out by riding my bicycle to the dump.
The sweater felt awesome keeping me toasty warm.
I stopped to get the mail on the way home. At the boxes, another lady said "Wow, you look all dressed up! Going somewhere special?"
Holy cow, I wanted to give her a hug and a kiss. She made my day.
The next day I was fretting over which gorgeous sweater to wear, I felt terribly spoiled and supremely lucky.

Mother nature had other plans.
By noon it was 70F degrees.

So that folks, is how you get rid of the cold snap in Florida.

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