Saturday, March 30, 2019

De Ja Voo-Doo!

If you read about The Dreadful Event then you know why I have been hiding at home, afraid to go out in public. 

However, yesterday I was forced out of my home in order to visit a doctor. Yuck yuck yuck. I've carefully avoided  doctors and medical facilities since the horrible hospital ordeal that still gives me frightening nightmares. I pray those will go away and stay away forever. 

Also the mountain of chemicals forced into my body at the hospital have really played havoc on my recovery as my body detoxes from all that. 

I am on one prescription and it was running out. I thought I could learn to live without it, but my body thought otherwise. So I had to find a new doctor and convince him to renew my one prescription. Docs want me on a big long list of drugs and I have many valid reasons why I prefer to be a minimalist. I have discovered... many docs simply refuse to deal with people like me. With so many medical practices being run by big corporations that dictate to the doctors to push pricey drugs and endless tests so they can earn kickbacks and maximize profits, it seems the patient's real concerns are totally ignored. 

Patient health care. 

It seems to no longer be about the patient or health or care.  It's all about maximizing profits. Sure there are some good doctors out there, and if you have one, hold onto him/her for dear life.

Even on this visit, the lady interviewing me asked me four times about me only having ONE prescription drug. She seriously wanted me to be on more drugs and found it very hard to believe I was only on one. Over and over I said "I prefer as few drugs as possible!"

Through a miracle, I survived the doctor visit but it took it's toll on me. For some strange reason doctors and nurses refuse to believe I have normal blood pressure. So they checked it several times shaking their heads in disbelief. "It's normal." It's unclear to me why they want me to have high blood pressure, what's wrong with being normal?

I am weird in so many ways, it's nice to be normal about SOMETHING. 

I have not had high blood pressure in over 40 years. At that time, it was discovered that a drug I had been prescribed was in fact causing my high blood pressure, so the doctor removed me from that drug and said, well, now it should return to normal and it did and has stayed that way for 40 plus years. 40 years ago... I had a doctor that genuinely cared about me so she was upset when my blood pressure shot up and did some research to find out DUH... it was the prescription. She didn't try to put me on a ton of other drugs, she said I am concerned your blood pressure has shot up high and we are going to get to the bottom of this. Oh I wish I had her for a doctor now. She wanted her patients to get well and stay well with as few drugs as possible. 

But I digress...

On the way home I decided to throw caution to the wind and step inside the scratch and dent store to see if their $1.00 a loaf Pepperidge Farm breads had arrived. 

That's the place where the dreadful event occurred last time I dared to go out in public.

There was a different cashier there and the owner who I had shocked on my previous visit, was in his office. So I thought I could shop in anonymity. 

Ha ha ha!

What was I thinking?

I grabbed a few items and yes the assorted breads were in stock (they go quickly and many times the store is out!)

 I pulled up to the new cashier and she went off duty and the OWNER appeared in her place. I am sure he remembered me and the dreadful event because first he greeted me warmly then did a double-take. I probably turned 42 shades of red.  

I could see the recognition in his face.

He was having a rough time with the register. Maybe he was nervous fearing I would once again sneeze at both ends and part with a fart louder and longer than the passing train. De ja voo-doo!

Like I did before... during the dreadful event.

Meanwhile the usual cashier breezed in the door announcing she was back from lunch.  She came over to help the owner at the register, giving him instructions how to straighten out the mess. Finally I spoke up and said in all seriousness to the owner who looked embarrassed that he had messed up the register,  "Sir! I am going to notify the owner that you need more training on the register!"

Well it was an ice breaker. 

He roared with laughter. That fear on his face of "Oh-my-gosh that's the lady that emptied out my store weeks ago with her two mile long deafening fart and sneeze..." suddenly vanished. Of course I knew he was the owner. I was just trying to shake things up since we were both standing there equally embarrassed.

The friendly cashier explained to me "You know,  he IS the owner!" 

Now I was laughing and racing for the door before my body could do anything new to embarrass me. 

Life is goof. 

THANK YOU for stopping by today. 
I woke up alive and it's a great start! 


  1. When all else fails -- laugh.

  2. Apparently I am able to both laugh and fart simultaneously. I hope this new weird phenomenon will go away soon! THank you for your comment!


Life is goof!