Monday, October 29, 2018

Cold and Warm

Another beautiful day in paradise.

From 88 sweltering humidity to 54 cold to the bone chilliness.

The southerners in Florida are cold. The northern snowbirds declare it's "mild".

I need it to warm up so I can finish washing the green slime off the side of the RV.

It was so cold, I was able to use my fireplace to warm up!

Today's trivia...

What is 14.7"L x 7.87"W x 9.76"H and only 12 pounds?

This cute electric fireplace heater that is perfect for motorhomes, campers, tiny home living and tight RV's. Any kind of tiny home living. Sneak one into your office and bring some cozy joy to chilly feet. It has two 750 watt heaters, so you can have 750 or 1500 watts of heat. 

It's so small, you can probably put one in your RV bedroom. 





 



The walk from the dumpster to the RV park includes a nice expanse of grass.  Photo taken September 20, 2018.

Many of the RV lots are shady while others get full sun.

My lot is a canopy of oak and cedar trees.








Tuesday, October 23, 2018

How to Lose 10 pounds in 30 Minutes

How did I grow up to be an idiot? I used to be a smart intelligent person. Then these smart phones and smart cars came out to make me feel super dumb.

My over 55 RV park has about 140 spaces, so when I say "neighbor" it could be anyone on the 140 sites. This is a singles park but there are some couples here but by and large it's solo individuals owning or renting here. There are about 110 owned sites and about 30 rented, give or take. Some are workampers too. This RV park is in a rural area about 4 miles from a tiny town which is a mile or two from the interstate which has a massive Walmart.

I don't know that many people here. Some are seasonal snowbirds that own lots here but only visit a few months a year. A handful are year round folks. Some are wonderful pleasant people and others are well, how to say it nicely? I guess some are not so pleasant. There. I said it.

Then there are travelers, folks that own lots here but continue to travel with their RV's so they are coming and going. Amazingly, many people own 2 RV's. One they live in when staying here and another one they travel in. Since I've been parked here cooling my heels and I dog walk and bike ride, I've come to know a few "neighbors."

An 84 year old neighbor told me she was out of cat food and wanted to know if I had any she could borrow and I don't have a cat nor cat food. I would LOVE to have a cat. I miss having a cat. My beloved cat was lost when I moved from the Caribbean to the USA. It still tears my heart apart.

Anyhow, I offered to ride my bicycle to the store to buy her cat food. She tossed her keys at me and said "Take my car, here's some cash, it's cheaper at Walmart, just make sure it's Meow Mix." Another park resident  was hanging around at the time, a neighbor who has Parkinsons disease and he asked to ride along too, since he has no car or driver's license. He knows the entire area better than I do as he has lived in Florida most of his life. We sometimes ride our bicycles together to the store. (Safety in numbers.)

Is it harder to run over two bicyclists than one?

I have this new smart phone that makes me feel awfully dumb. I was forced into it and not sure I like it at all. It's so dadgum complicated to make or receive a call. Also it's doesn't fold up like my old flip phone which I sorely miss. I could easily and quickly make phone calls on the flip phone. This smart phone is ridiculously cumbersome. The cell phone gurus are not addressing a segment of the population that wants SIMPLICITY.

Oops!

A few times I have almost broke the phone trying to fold it in half like my old awesome flip phone.

The other day I had an emergency and needed to make a phone call to get help. I flailed around for over 10 minutes trying to get the phone to work for me to make a phone call. I kept doing the swoops all wrong and it wouldn't let me dial out. Gee wiz. I've since discovered that many +55 people in the park have the same problem. You can't just pick up a smart phone and make a call in an emergency without doing 10 things to it first to get to the point of making a call. I am glad I was not calling about a fire or a heat attack. Ten minutes is a long time to fart around with a complicated phone to make an emergency call.

Who thinks up this stuff?

Why does making a phone call have to be so ridiculously complicated?

Mine was flashing up advertisements and weather crap and google asking me for the 100th time about my email and password.At some point I must have hit a wrong button on the side of the phone trying to get it to come on and work. It began taking pictures. I didn't want to take pictures, I wanted to call for help.

I don't want google to have my email and password and google retaliates by not letting me make a phone call in an emergency. I don't even pay for or have internet on the smart phone but it lets me hook into wifi which works when I am near the wifi spot. A few months ago when we were hit by that huge bolt of lightening that lit up our world and sent me levitating, I added this ap to my phone that tells me where the lightening is and I am so sorry I did that. It now alerts me constantly of lightening strikes up to 500 miles away. Good grief. I am trying to disable it and remove that ap, but I haven't figured out how to get rid of it or turn it off. It also flashes up advertisements.

When I accidentally took pictures, google appeared asking me to make recommendations for this RV park, because apparently google stalks me and my phone and demands I make a review on pictures I take. UGH! I refuse to answer google because I don't like these demands being made on me when I have more important things to do.

But I digress.

Back to the borrowed car and fetching cat food with  neighbor "P". I approached the car discovering that the little old lady is so tiny that her seat was all the way forward with a pillow jammed in it so she can reach the pedals. I couldn't even begin to slither into the driver's seat until I had figured out how to move the seat, remove the pillow and WHEW I was able to get in, start the car and get going with "P" my co-pilot. We stopped by my RV to get my purse and phone, then stopped by his RV to get his empty water jugs so he could buy drinking water.

We headed for the store and he was giving me short cut directions to Walmart. At the massive crowded parking lot he suggested we use the handicap parking since we were in a car with a handicap tag dangling from the rear view mirror and well since we are both handicapped, it seemed like an OK thing to do even though this wasn't our car, it did have the required handicap tag.

He said "I will call you on the phone when I am through shopping and tell you where I am at or you call me when you are done."

Twenty minutes later, I was approaching the self serve checkout because the lines were way shorter than the cashier checkout when my phone began ringing. I tried to answer it but I kept doing the buttons and swooping wrong and the phone call rang and rang and while I frantically tried to answer it went to voice mail just as I said "HELLO!" I could at least see the name of "P" my co-pilot was calling. A nice Walmart employee walked up to me asking  if I needed help with the self serve check out. I guess she figured if I couldn't answer my phone after playing with it ringing endlessly,  I probably couldn't do self serve check out either. (She was right!)

I was grateful for her help and thanked her over and over. She got the cat food beeped into the system, bagged, tagged and back into the cart. WOW. Such service!

I pushed my cart of cat food out the door because I knew there was a bench outside and I figured I could sit on the bench and try to figure out the phone. Well there was "P" sitting on the bench with his water jugs and phone. Whew!

At the car, we couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Oh dear me! I've always owned old simple cars and my former motorhome was a 1994 with a simple key that unlocked the door and let me open it. Well this newfangled car apparently didn't open with a key.

The two of us spent another 5 minutes figuring out how to unlock the car. At least we got the two front doors open, but we couldn't get the back doors nor the hatchback open. That is when we noticed the tags on the car had expired 2 years ago.

Oh my gosh!

We were discussing the expired tag, the fact we couldn't figure out opening the hatchback when suddenly a cop car drove through the parking lot just a few feet from us. We fell silent. My friend suddenly blocked the tag with his body. Maybe the cop wouldn't notice.

We were kind of temporarily frozen in time. Is this just a very bad dream?

I could imagine the cop asking me for license, registration and insurance. Me saying well here is my license, but it's a "borrowed" car, I was just fetching cat food for a little old lady and I had no idea her tags were expired and who she is insured with or where her registration is.

I could just see me sitting at the jail with a my smart phone, too dumb to figure out how to make a phone call and get help.

Some axe murderer might ask me "What are you in here for?

"I'm in here for buying cat food with expired tags."

That poor cat.

He would be starving and nobody would ever know whatever happened to me, the borrowed car and the two small sacks of cat food.

We waited and watched while the cop car went up and down every aisle in the parking lot.

Oh good grief.

Eventually he left. We timidly climbed into the car, said our prayers then drove home ever so sedately while nervously watching for cops. I think I lost 10 pounds of weight in pure sweat just trying to return the car and deliver the cat food.

I asked the little old lady if she knew the tags were expired on the car and by the way had she paid her insurance lately?

She said you know I recently spent two days on paperwork and one of those was catching up my insurance bill, so yes, the car is insured. She was pretty sure she had new stickers for her tags, maybe in her wallet. The day she paid for them it was raining and she didn't want to stand in the rain putting the stickers on the tag and then her boyfriend died and his funeral was in another state and a few weeks later she moved from her RV on one side of the park to a mobile home on the other side and somewhere in the move she was pretty sure the tags were somewhere... laying around.

Somewhere.

I offered to go put them on her car but she said well, let's do that another day... after I find them. My cat is hungry and thank you for fetching the cat food. You bought his favorite! He will be so happy!

Life is goof.

So there you have it!

How I lost 10 pounds of sweat in 30 minutes of chaos.

I am exhausted.

Amazon sell pet foods.
Many qualify for Subscribe and Save
which means up to 15% savings


Sunday, October 21, 2018

What is Black, Blue and Titanium?

Ouch.


That's a big bruise on my left wrist.

Instead of going right, I went wrong.

Gosh I hope I didn't dent the interior (the titanium implant.)

Maybe I could knock it straight again with a rubber hammer?

I hope a screw isn't loose.

How do you tighten up those titanium screws anyhow?

Inquiring minds want to know.

The other guy looks even worse.

Just kidding!

I was trying to fix my cabinet and my hand slipped and BANG.

When I get to heaven will they issue me an updated body?

This one is falling apart and rapidly becoming outdated.

Life is goof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's wisdom:

 If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

 Thinking globally:

The reason pandas are so popular is diversity – they’re black, white and Asian.

Check out these amazing coupons at

Amazon








Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Beautiful to be Alive

The dog and I are alive. It's a beautiful day.

Not sure how often I will get to keep posting here.

Daily life has become a huge struggle for both me and my dog. But I am trying to smile, be happy, pray for a miracle and do as much as I possibly can each day to make things easier, happier and... accept the things I can not change. 

Maybe that's the hardest part for me. Acceptance of the things I can not change (I seem to try anyhow!)

Another mountain of a chore is to remind myself over and over again how lucky I am to have this beautiful day on planet earth and to be grateful for all my blessings.

To all the wonderful angels on earth and in heaven, I am deep in your debt and very grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

To the few devils who went out of their way to try to make my life a living hell, you did not succeed.

I'm alive, I'm happy, I'm thankful for this day.

Smile!

If you're reading this then you woke up alive and that's a really great way to start the day.



 I am  very much just like this tree.

Still thriving in spite of past maladies.

For some strange reason, I see beauty in the odd blue streak.

Half the tree is dead, the other half is reaching for the clouds in glorious hues of green.

The unique blue streak is stubborn determination.


THANK YOU for plopping by today.

Life is goof.


Saturday, October 13, 2018

Thrill of the Grill

From 90 effing degrees of hot humid weather to a cool 60F degrees.
Amazing how quick the weather changed for us overnight.

Sometimes a freebie ends up at my place.This grill with full propane tanks was offered to me for free when the heirs were cleaning out my neighbor's property.  I took it along with a bunch of dead plants because I wanted the pots to use. Magically many of the plants revived when I least expected it. I've posted pics of those in the past few months.

The grill sat covered up unused. Meat is so pricey, I mostly rely on dried beans for protein nourishment. Seems silly to try to cook dried beans on a grill. But who knows, maybe one day I would roast up some fresh veggies or something.

One day recently another RV neighbor said he had been on a special diet to lower his cholesterol. In his freezer were four pork chops that were taunting him every time he opened it up. So he decided that the day after his next blood test, he would cook the pork chops and savor them. He had been eating a mountain of oatmeal and beans in an effort to lower his cholesterol and avoid the drugs the doctor was pushing. He mentioned it was a shame his other neighbor with a grill had moved away because he used to cook on his neighbor's grill and share food with him.

As a joke, I said "Well I have a grill, beans and taters,  come on over and let's celebrate!"

On the appointed day he showed up and we fired up the gifted grill, cleaned the rack, spread some oil on it then he cooked the pork chops. The flame is a bit chaotic, but I guess that is what you call flame broiled!

Amazingly the chops were tender and delicious. Melt in your mouth.
He had two pork chops, I had one and doggy had some too. Yum.

Life is goof.

Here are some 60% discount codes on a few products at Amazon. Enjoy!


Friday, October 12, 2018

Hurricane Michael Missed Us

I feel so blessed the hurricane missed us.

Just for fun the power company zapped us this morning with a brief outage.

But we woke up alive, so it's all good.

Dog and I are having issues with medical problems so can't write much today.

A picture of my garden from a few days ago.



And a picture of hurricane Michael before he slammed the Florida panhandle. Some see a skull in the middle.


Shop Amazon with this link, it helps us out. 

THANK YOU!

Back soon. 
 

 

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Shattering the Morning Calm

It's a beautiful day for a hurricane.

Hopefully it will stay away from us, but the forecasters are often wrong, there could be some last minute  wobbling.

Matter of fact the category 2 they predicted for hurricane Michael is now a whopping category 4.

Normally I hear birds going nonstop in the mornings. Today they are nearly silent. Did they flee the area? I hear a lone forlorn chirping, like a baby bird was left behind.

It's all clear here for now. Soon as I can get this pile of bones moving, I am hauling out the garbage and double checking my water tank to make sure it's full. Doubtful we will have any effects other than rains, but our well water in the RV park goes off when the power is off, so having a tank of water and 12 volt pump is ideal. I no longer have a generator, but I have batteries hooked into my 12 volt system for lights, water pump and running propane fridge.

I woke up early with a huge pile of mobility problems. My biggest problem is I need to learn to say NO. Somehow I got swept up into helping others, nothing wrong with that!  But my body is beat to pieces from helping others out recently.

While trying to make coffee and put away some hand washed dishes, I shattered a Corelle plate into a thousand bits and pieces that landed on the counter, in the counter basket, on the kitchen floor, on the step stool, in the dining area vinyl and carpet, on the dining chair, on the dining table and some bounced as far as the living room carpet too.




Corelle is very tough and virtually impossible to break, but somehow I managed to do the impossible.

I am super woman!

Rvers favor Corelle because it stacks up neatly taking minimal space. It goes into the oven, microwave, fridge and dishwasher. It's lightweight. Very difficult to chip or break. Most of my Corelle came from Thrift stores. Over the years RVing, I have managed to collect up assorted sized bowls, plates and serving/cooking pieces.

If you are trying to match up old discontinued Corelle or want something super unique, check out Replacements Ltd. They have tons of Corelle in current and discontinued patterns, shapes, sizes.

While thinking about cleaning up this monumental mess, making matters worse... there is no where inside my current RV to store tall things like a broom. I was unable to make it down the steps and out to the storage shed to fetch a broom until 2 hours later.

My body just would not cooperate with walking or steps. I may need a ramp at some point in the future, but the cost is so prohibitive that it's far down at the bottom of the list.

Luckily my broom is a rubber broom from Amazon. Most Americans are clueless what a rubber broom is, but let me tell you, it's the thing to own for multi-tasking. When I first relocated to America, I looked in many stores for a rubber broom and asked around. No one seemed to know WHAT I was talking about.

It sweeps floors, wet or dry, it sweeps carpet, yes! Carpet!  It can collect pet and human hair off carpets and upholstery. It sweeps wet leaves outside, pushes water, squeegees water. Imagine if you shattered a glass full of milk, a rubber broom is the perfect tool to corral and clean the mess up quickly.

Mine flips over as a rubber squeegee on one side and a broom on the other side. The broom washes clean, looking new again after each use. The rubber bits do not fall out like regular brooms.

To be fair, mine came with an extendable handle, so yes I can take it apart and store it in bits inside the RV, but lately it's been living fully assembled in the storage shed. I may have to rethink that if I continue to flail around smashing things.

Some days my body has different ideas about how to move about and behave.  Tsk tsk tsk.

Life is goof.







In case you are wondering about that rug... It's a cheap knockoff of  a traditional Persian design that looks very realistic. I am super impressed with it. When I first bought this RV, the dining area carpet had hideous stains and horrible cigarette burns. I bought this carpet to hide the mess because it was too painful to look at. My 4x6 rug was only $39 from A2Z rugs at Amazon.

Since then I've tried to level up the floor (it was at a slope) rip out the damaged carpet area, replace with a vinyl remnant I got for super cheap. That left the rug homeless, but I decided to put it back in the dining area to enjoy the look and feel.

Doggy loves to sit on it too.

Monday, October 08, 2018

Hurricane Michael and Car Schlopping

Hurricane Michael could be here mid week with torrential rains and 100mph winds.

My hurricane plans are being hastily slapped together. Not much to do. I can't evacuate. No car. No motorhome. No dog crate for the hurricane shelter. Besides, no time to train dog to live in crate. He has never been boxed up. Doggy and I will ride out the hurricane at home and pray for the best. Hopefully it will just miss us completely.

I've been emptying out my shed, trying to sell things to save up for a car. That means my beautiful potted plants could possibly hide in the shed and maybe survive too.

When I bought this old 5th wheel, I thought once I sold the old motorhome, I would be able to buy a hunk of a clunker to drive if needed. I need a car maybe once a week at most. But the 5th wheel I bought had quite a few surprises and then my old rig (my ailing failing body) decided to put up a fuss about daily living.

Occasionally I waste my time looking at cars for sale on craigslist. If anything, it gives me quite a giggle, but so far, no car.

Besides, it's kind of hard to go buy a car without transportation to go look at them. I did have a sweet deal on a borrowed car I used to "rent" but the delightful owner has now moved far away. There was another person that promised to sell me his old 5 speed (manual transmission) car at a whale of a deal. The next day when I went back with cash, he was nowhere to be found. Several days of trying to catch him at home proved fruitless. Then I found out he had passed away.

Today I found several bargains to choose from!

I posted excerpts from the ads then made my notes in italics.



2000 VW Golf 4 door 1.9L TDI diesel $500 (Summerfield)
Took the two drivers side doors, the bumper and the hood. Everything else is there. 

Only missing a few parts, nothing critical.

Only $50 (but it's a toy car listed with the autos for sale!)

Even as a toy it's a bit spendy, especially since it's already been wrecked. 

1999 Nissan Altima - $800                                                                         
The car runs, and it sometimes even starts immediately, but there will be times when it struggles.

I struggle to keep my ribs from hurting, but I enjoyed the laugh.

1000 OBO. Serious inquiries only                                                                        
Some kind of electrical problem, loses power completely randomly and won't start.                                                                         
Front seat won't raise into upright position. Has a bug problem.                                                                         
Runs great.

Won't start, but it runs great? Seriously? How do you push start an automatic transmission?

Dodge pickup $550 (lecanto)                                                                        
1974 Dodge pickup. Complete truck. 318 automatic trans. Truck ran when parked. Tires are bad.

Parked 8 years ago, only used for a few crimes and target practice.

Stop running 2days ago. I was told it needs lots of work on the modem or possible need to a new modem. The interior of the van needs a good handyman.

It probably needs "mo're dem" parts...



THANKS for stopping by today.




Sunday, October 07, 2018

Dump Fun

Dumpster diving in pretty places.


One thing I haven't found dumpster diving is a book on how to dumpster dive but Amazon sells them.



Wednesday, October 03, 2018

Remote Nightmare

The sun came up. Birds are happily chirping. Sky is confused baby blue with gray overcast.

Dog is alive but not awake.

My tiny potted garden is looking nice with some cheerful flower blooms.

Between angels, dumpster diving and watering, I am so blessed.

Except I ate the remote to the fan last night.

I've had this raging fever for three days.  All  I wanted was ice cream and of course I don't have any ice cream. Every time I woke up,  all I could think was if I only had some ice cream it would cool me down.

I guess I mistook the remote for ice cream and ate it.

Oh dear me.

This is gonna hurt!





On the bed table you can see a tiny remote. It controls a fan that sits on a builtin credenza across the room (not shown). The little alcove with the window above the pillows is the slide out to transform the bedroom into a palatial palace about 9 by 9 feet. Basically I can walk around the bed and that''s all the room there is. But I am thrilled to have this new arrangement. My bed in the former motorhome was boxed in on three and half sides. Making it up with sheets was a study in acrobatics. This one is slightly easier to make up.

For 3 days now I've had a gawdawful fever.. I've used that little remote fan button to blow cool air across me. The fan has 12 settings for speed and optional oscillating. All this is controlled by a tiny remote.

But last night I ate the fan remote.

Yepper. Fever does strange things I guess.

I was up early, fever and all marveling at what a gorgeous day it was and hoping if I ignored  the fever it would go away. I tried to clean up the place chasing out the germs.

A few hours later I had to return to bed. After taking out the dog and garbage I was still  just burning up with fever.

But the fan remote was GONE.

I searched the tiny bedside table which is about 10 by 10 inches. I was dripping sweat all over it. I checked the floor. I even checked the cabinets. For good measure I checked the vacuum cleaner.

I pulled the sheets off the bed and shook them out. No remote. They were stinky from the fever so I tossed them in the wash. I looked under the mattress, behind the mattress, all over the floor and still no fan remote.

When the sheets were dry, I put them back on the bed.

I flopped down to rest wondering how or why did I eat the fan remote last night?

With my fingers and thumbs I jabbed my stomach here and there, trying to push the remote to see if the fan would respond. Nothing happened and I drifted off into another world.

When I woke up, I searched all over again for the remote. Then I found a sliver of space between the diminutive night table and the wall. Could the remote have slid down there into never-never land?

Finding my long handle back scratcher I tried to poke around the dark sliver between the  builtin night table and  the outside wall. No remote.

Then it dawned on me. DUH.

Bring in the slide out and then look. The button for the slide out is in the bathroom under the sink.  The dog was amused and confused as the room began shaking. The bed and builtin nightstands began moving with a loud groan. This pushes the bed up against the credenza eliminating the walk around space. I crawled across the bed with a flashlight and a mirror. Then I searched behind the nightstand and I could SEE the remote.

There it was.

In never never land.

I did NOT swallow it in a feverish fit last night. I simply flailed around and somehow sent it to never never land.

But to add insult to injury, I could not reach the remote! I could see it with the hand mirror aided by a flashlight but I couldn't reach it. I tried all sorts of contortions. It had slid down and under the cabinet into a deep dark hole.

Maddening!

All this beautiful cabinetry is built in and disassembling it would be next to impossible.

DING DONG. Yes, I have a doorbell on the doggy gate outside. I climbed across the bed to go see who was at the gate.

It was my skinny neighbor with long arms. Well he lives several streets from me, but the fact a skinny person with long arms should appear at this very moment did seem serendipitous.

Angels appear when you least expect it!  I asked if I could borrow his long arms.

I explained that my fan remote was in never never land and I could see it with the mirror but couldn't reach it and I had to bring the slide-out inside to locate it. Now it was taunting me.

Well my angel came inside, crawled across the bed since you can't walk around it with the slide stuck inside and reached into never-never land and produced the errant remote.

PHEW!

I am SO happy to find out  I didn't really eat the remote.  It was just a bad dream fueled by fever.

Life is goof. 











Monday, October 01, 2018

RV Frogging

Froggy dearest.

Some of my past and current frog friends.



I have no idea what this means, but I have a clue. For 8 years I've had a froggy traveling with me. No matter where I am camping a little green frog appears inside or outside my RV. I've asked around and other RVers don't seem to have this froggy luck.

Creatures are attracted to me.

I don't feed them, I don't touch them, but I do have a great deal of respect for nature. Somehow frogs and many other creatures find there way to me.



What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?

HOP IN!

 Let me in!

Let me in!

 I'm in!

A drunk is sitting at a bar, and says, "Bartender! Another drink."

The bartender shakes his head and says, "No you've had enough."

"Well," the drunk says. "How about if I show you something really cool? Then will you give me a drink?"

"Sure," the bartender says. "But it's gotta be pretty cool."

The drunk takes a tiny piano and a frog out of his pockets and sets them on the bar. The frog starts tickling the ivories, playing a beautiful song.
The bartender gives him a drink. The drunk downs it, and orders another.

"No way," the bartender says. "Now you've really had enough."

"If you give me a drink, I'll show you something even cooler," says the drunk.
The bartender agrees.

The drunk pulls out a rat, and sets it next to the piano. The frog starts playing again, and the rat starts singing to the music.
The bartender is amazed, and gives him another drink.

A man who had been watching all this comes up to the drunk and says, "You've got a million dollar act there. I'll give you $500,000 for them right now."

"Not for sale," the drunk croaks.

"Ok, $500,000 just for the frog."

"Not for sale."

"Ok, $500,000 just for the rat."

The drunk agrees, and the man pays him and leaves.

The bartender says to the drunk, "What did you do that for? You broke up a million dollar act!"

"Nah," the drunk says. "The frog's a ventriloquist."



There once was a little frog who wanted to take out a home improvement loan to fix up his pad. His name was Kermick Jagger.

He hopped over to his local bank, went up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."

The teller replied, "You need to see our loan officer. Her name is "Patty Black."

So the frog hops over to the loan officer's desk and sits down. When Patty arrives she ask, "What can I do for you?"

The frog says, "I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."

Patricia asked, "What do you have for collateral?"

After thinking for a couple of moments about what he could offer the frog reaches into his little froggy pocket and pulls out a small white elephant.

"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patty. "I'll have to check with our bank president to see if it's ok."

Patricia goes to the president and says, "There's a frog named Kermick Jagger  who want's a home loan and this white elephant is what he has for collateral. What should I do?"

The bank president takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patty and says,

"It's a nick-knack Patty Black give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."