Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Bought A Luxury RV Park

I won the lottery!  

Yippee!  Before I could squander all the money as fast as possible, I ran out and bought a luxury RV Resort for snowbirds.  I understand they are cash cows.  Um, the RV Parks not the snowbirds...

Now I am set for life. 

The place needed a little work to bring it up to five star standards, but all the renovations are finished now, thanks to the endless work of our volunteer workampers.  We expect Woodall's to name us their top rated RV Park of the year!

I'm open for business tomorrow, so y'all come on down.  We have a few choice spots left.  We have a snowbird special too, pay for 6 months up front and get a week free in the off season. 

As a grand opening promotion, we are offering half-price rates for stays of more or less 13 nights. 

I've posted some pics here so you can take a virtual tour, until we get our website up and running. 

We accept MC, VISA, AmExp, Checks, Cash, Paypal and 14k Gold.  Make your reservations early because we are sure to be a popular spot for those of you that simply must have the finest in RV Resorts. 

All these fabulous pictures you can click to enlarge.

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First off, we are extremely proud of our refurbished  recreation hall. You can meet up with your friends here for pot luck dinners, movies, games and much more. 

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We have updated our modern showers for handicapped accessibility   

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Our bathrooms are kept spotless for your comfort.  Our landscaper is trimming the grass around the entrance in preparation of our grand opening. 

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We are big rig friendly.  All of our lots come with a wooden deck and spacious patio. 

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Our laundry room has fabulous views in addition to modern equipment to meet all your laundry needs. 

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Our fishing pond is very well stocked. We sell fishing licenses too but beware of the gator.

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The waterfront sites are nicely landscaped, very shady  and of course we include complimentary picnic tables. 

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This RV Resort is our pride and joy. We are working on this cute logo for our website.

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All of our RV sites include electricity, which we proudly produce ourselves. 

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We also offer contemporary cabin rentals for non-RV owners. 
All cabins come with 2 bedrooms, kitchen with a view and a path.
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The path  leads to your fashionable private bathroom. 

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We have a state of the art dump station centrally located that can service several RV's at a time. 

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Some of our campsites are paved, all are leveled for your convenience. Well, mostly level, some of our workampers suffer from  astigmatism, but we are very proud of their work and attention to detail.  Our staff will gladly level up your RV for you, at no extra charge. 

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We've tried to keep our RV park rules nice and simple for your enjoyment. 

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If your spot doesn't have a picnic table yet, just ask our gracious staff for one. They are  more than delighted to deliver a picnic table to you and set it up as shown. Our workampers are a very happy lot  who only work 68 hours per week in exchange for free camping in our luxurious RV Park.  Sign up to be a workamper with us.  As an equal opportunity employer, we give Parolees first choice.  

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Check-in is a breeze. Just drive up to our window where the Bark Ranger will sniff you over and take your money. Be sure to bring treats for speedier service. Pets are welcomed, but must weigh under 200 pounds. 

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The unpaved lots come with a beautiful level pad that is nicely graveled by our workampers. We provide complimentary fire wood at each lot.

Come on down!  I can't wait to see y'all at my new Lushery RV Rezort. 


Carolyn said...

oh, wow… count me in… consider adding another room to your recreation hall that would house vending machines.

Nothing like having a vending machine coffee and a powdered sugar doughnut for breakfast while burning your garbage in the barrel.

You ever burn garbage in a barrel? My g'mother-in-law LOVED doing that. kinda fun to watch sometimes.

TexCyn said...

Please let the bark ranger know that we're on the way! Wow, we can't wait!! But one question, that's 200 pounds per dog right? Not 75 dogs that are under 2oo pounds? And what about the 300 pound cat?

DearMissMermaid said...

Oops! I thought today was April Fool's Day.

My March calendar marched away. A gentle reader informed me that today is really Pi Day. Pi = 3.14 (March 14).

Well for once in my life, I am early for something... early for April Fool's Day!

Me the fool?

Anonymous said...

Love it! Me and my five dogs have been wanting to meet Ms Mermaid and in such a wonderful environment. How can we resist?
Norma in Georgia

The Good Luck Duck said...

Well, I'd say your guests are the ones who win the lottery! We're not used to that kind of lushery, but we're willing to get accustomed.

The Good Luck Duck

PamG in VA said...

I am surprised you could buy it with all of your lottery money. Since it looks absolutely priceless to me!

zionriverresortzion said...

Interesting conversation, looking forward for more update soon.

Zion RV Park Snowbirds