Sunday, April 01, 2012

Sold My RV Today!


It's official now, I am truly homeless. I sold my RV. I have rented a van.  I am in the process of moving all my junk from the RV to the van, handing the keys to the new owners and saying my tearful goodbye.  I've ordered a cheap $24 tent from Amazon, it will be here Monday morning. For $10 a night, I can continue to camp here, only now I will live in a tent with my puppy dog. 

I am keeping the portable gazebo, so between the van,  tent and gazebo, I can set up temporary housekeeping, with my crockpot as my only source of cooking. I don't have a cooler, so I will be living out of canned goods and dried beans mostly for now. 

I have no idea what I will do next, but I have to make up my mind quickly, as paying rent on a van full of junk is going to get pricey real fast. 

Since I have workamping jobs starting May 1st, I just have a short window to find a great deal on a used motorhome. I am frantically searching the classified ads, with plans to visit all the used RV dealers in the area. 

Why on earth would I sell my treasured home?

Well, here's what happened... 

I met a nice couple in the park who were camping out of their car with a tent. They were playing with Harley dog and talking about how they wanted to buy a Class C like mine, to travel around America,  but couldn't find one to date that suited them.  Matter of fact, finding used Class C's is hard indeed, but can be done if you are willing to travel around. 

I was of course bragging about my love-affair with my little old wheel estate, how cozy, how comfy, how fun it was to live in and drive around. I explained how I made my tiny erratic budget stretch even further by taking on workamping and so on. 

One thing lead to another, and they asked to see my little old RV on the inside.  Ever the proud owner, I agreed to give them the nickel tour. 

They were extremely flattering, saying such wonderful things about my wheel estate, the perfect layout, the lovely kitchen, the calming colors of the decor. 

The wife decided she just had to have my RV and the husband quickly agreed. They asked me how much I would sell it for. Since I am not in the market to sell my RV, I mentally figured out what it was probably worth, multiplied that by three, then quoted them my grossly inflated price. 

I fully expected them to tell me I was crazy, make a ridiculously low offer and so on. Instead they huddled off to the side, murmuring back and forth.  Then the husband announced to me, they could pay me in cash, once they made a trip to their home safe. He said they had been stockpiling cash in their safe as they had been busy selling off their stuff in case they found a motorhome to buy, they could close the deal quickly and start traveling.

How soon could I move out and hand over the keys?

For someone like me who can talk up a storm in short order, I found myself speechless. I stood there like an idiot, with my jaw gaping wide open. I absent-mindedly picked up little Harley, holding him to comfort me, while I stroked his fur. They even offered to adopt Harley!  But I don't think I could part with my crazy little dog. He may be a mountain of trouble, but he's a source of great joy in my life. 

The husband pulled out his wallet and handed me five one-hundred dollar bills. "I tell you what, here's an extra $500 to sweeten the deal, if you can move out and hand over the keys by sunset Monday.  If you've got some paper, we can write up a bill of sale, I see you have a computer printer in back there, we'll go to the house and get our  cash, then be back for the title."

Meanwhile his wife is opening and closing the cabinets and drawers, peeking in the closet, looking in the medicine cabinet. She is smiling and whispering to herself, where they will put their things.  She opens the washing machine, squeals with delight, turns on the little TV, Santa Claus brought me this Christmas, flips through a few channels then turns it off again. 

The husband is by now walking around the outside, asking me questions about hooking up the umbilical cords, opening the engine for a look-see, checking the propane compartment, looking at my basement storage area and so on. The basement area looked huge, because I had already set up my outdoor rug, table and chairs under the nearly new awning, so the basement was almost empty. I had just organized my junk in the toy box on the cargo carrier, that morning, so it looked like I was well organized (I'm not, it's a myth, an illusion I try to keep up.)

It was like a dream as I tried to answer the numerous question he was firing off at me. His wife joins us outside, gives him a big hug and says "Oh honey! This is going to be perfect for us!  I can't wait to move in and see America!"

Then she suddenly gives me a great big hug, telling me how wonderful I am and how thrilled they are to be buying my RV.  Tears ran down my face, dripping onto her shoulder. She whispers in my ear "You've made us so very happy!"

My stomach balled up into a knot, like I had swallowed a ten pound iron frypan. The thought of making such a handsome profit on my little old motorhome was foremost in my mind, but also I was fighting back tears (and losing the battle mightily) at the thought of losing my home to this gushing couple. 

The business side of me said "It's your lucky day!"   The sentimental side of me said "Don't do it, this is your home, your life, the float in a storm at sea you've been clinging to for the past 27 months."  

But the business side of me prevailed. When would I ever have this incredible opportunity to make such a huge handsome profit ever again?

So I signed the bill of sale and the title.  The park office notarized it for us. It's official now. Bye bye wheel estate. I ran off copies on my printer. Oops. Their printer. 

YES, I am sitting here crying as I write this. I am crying with joy over the profit and crying with grief over losing my home. I'm just a train wreck today. 

Oh my gosh, here come the water squirts, I just can't stop crying as I write this. On one side  of me sits the dog, clueless to my curious distress.  On the other side, a brand new gym bag full of cash they brought me from their safe. Every few minutes, I unzip the bag, stare at all that cash, then zip it back up again. 

I've posted a picture of the happy couple and me, shaking hands,  in front of my RV. I guess this is the last picture you or I will see of it. Another camper took the picture with my camera. This sudden sale is the talk of the campground!  People keep coming by to see what sold. Amazing how fast word travels. 

I'm having formatting terrors here, not sure what I did wrong,  but scroll on down to see our picture of the happiest-saddest day of my life.  Maybe when I stop crying, I can fix the formatting problems.  Sorry *sniffle* about that. 




Happy April Fool's Day!  It's a joke, it's a hoax!  While the couple loved my RV, they didn't buy it.  But I thought it would make a great April Fool's prank on my gentle readers. Stay tuned for more misadventures in the life of a nut, her monkey-dog and their wheel estate...

PS...If you liked this post, tell your friends!  Maybe they will buy my book "Hurricanes and Hangovers" or buy a subscription for 3 cents a day, or make an angel donation and that bag of cash will come true one day. Ha ha ha!  Don't we wish!

April 11th is my birthday, funny I was born the same month as April Fool's Day. I was due to arrive April 1st, but I decided to fatten up and be late for my own birthday. I was such a hefty baby that my mother said "I won't be doing THAT again!" and she kept her word. 


Russ Krecklow said...

Good One!! When I saw the cash, it began to dawn on me what day I'm reading this. HaHa

Page said...

Not realizing what day it is, you really had me going. Whew!

Gypsy said...

I believed it until I got to the "April Fool's Day" part. I was really worried, because who carries that much cash around any more, and you could be the victim of a real scam. Pretty funny joke you played on all of us, and I'm glad you still have your Class C!

The Good Luck Duck said...

Clever! I didn't believe it for a minute, but it was still clever! :D

Mariza said...

I believed it and was so worried as I kept reading and then I got even more worried when I saw the cash! What if it was fake! Good story!

Chuck and Anneke's RV travels said...

Good one:) Happy April 1st!

Anonymous said...

I believed it and really worried for u that the cash was no real. As who has all that cash around in this day and age. I could feel your pain in loosing your beloved wheel estate, but understood the thought of that wonderful profit. Good story, I forgot it was April 1st. Do hope u r feeling better.

HizKid said...

CR,you crack me up! Had me totally convinced! I was worried about you posting that you had all that cash!!!! I would love to get something like that going before I get too old! But right now my dad and I are taking care of each other

mikey said...

You devil you! You had me going there and I was believing and disbelieving what I was reading.A good one.

dinnerdiva said...

You had me hook, line and sinker - I should have known, my brother's birthday is Apr 2 and I always said he was a fool - but I guess I'm the one who got fooled. I was really worried about you living in a tent with all that cash - what is someone stole it? I'm so glad you still have your beloved wheel estate!

TexCyn said...

HA! You DID NOT FOOL ME!!! Why? Because a little while ago, I was thinking of how I should have posted an "I sold my RV" aprils fool joke on my blog :-p
I forgot what day it was though & posted another serious post about window leaks instead. (hope that joke isn't on me) Go figure. (but we've gots ta be sistas!)

Gayla Kilbride said...

OMG. You had me! I was almost in tears for you having to leave your home that I know you love. April Fools didn't enter my mind. LOL

Ryan McCoy said...

Wow, first day reading your blog and I got totally fooled. Learned my lesson! Great post.