Waking Up With Grandma

Staying alive in this heat wave. Whoa. This heat is different than the Caribbean heat I am used to. 


Today I broke camp to go on a little shopping spree. That's a fancy way of saying I went for supplies. Mostly food and the few odd parts I needed like an electric cord and jaw clip. 


First the  motorhome's attached awning frame would not close up correctly. In the 100F plus heat I messed about with it until I was completely soaked in sweat. At that point, I muttered a few choice words, then tied the cantankerous awning frame with bungee cords since it wouldn't snap together properly. 


Tacky.  


It looked tacky. Well, the frame has never been the same since the last storm anyhow, about a month ago, when I was hit with 50knot winds and a squall. It's the same frame I rebuilt last fall after the lake that landed on it one day while I was gone, buckled up the frame sections, requiring me to shop through 17 states in junk yards assembling the bits to more or less make it funtional again. 


Motorhomes are so much fun!


Today Harley dog  was playing outside on a long tether, alternately patroling his area while anxiosuly giving me sideling glances as he saw the tell tail tale signs that we were traveling somewhere. 


I detached the rig from the umbilical cords.  We were free to go. Harley excitedly hopped up into the passenger seat, ecstatic that his little favorite blankie was spread out neatly across the seat for him. 


I quickly changed clothes again, because my sweat soaked ones, were clammy, then I plopped down in the driver's seat to say my prayers. 


Yep, I pray every time I start to drive. It's a crazy world out there on the roads. 


We drove about three feet.  I always creep at a snail's oace when I first leave a campground, to listen for strange noises. The RV engine was running, but would not go forward. I didn't push it to either. Something was wrong.  Three feet and we're stopped already. 


I started to get out when I saw the problem. The back wheels were blocked by the curb. This campsite has big curb around three sides of the utility hookups. Last time I backed into my campground, I had put the wheels less than an inch from the curb. So when I tried to pull out, I guess I varied by an inch, and that blocked the back tires.


Whew.  This was an easy fix, just go back and forth until I got the double set of back wheels around the problem curb.  


We drove down country roads with Harley looking excitedly out the window. Once we approached Toccoa, Georgia, and traffic, he lost interest in sight seeing, preferring to nap. 


He's pretty smart some days. When we arrived at a big parking lot, he realized it wasn't a campground.  He had to stay in the jumbo air conditioned dog house with the generator running, while I shopped. 


When I returned with the spoils of the hunt, he was ecstatic, showering me with addoration. I hooked up his leash, then he walked with me back to the store to return the shopping buggy. 


I hadn't bought that much, but I needed the exercise of walking briskly, for me it's easier pushing the cart rather than lugging the bags by hand when I am trying to walk as fast as I can.  Since I park the motorhome at the far end of the lot, I get in some good milage just going in and out of the stores. Harley enjoys returning shopping cards with me. We usually take it right back to the store to get in some walking. 


I had several stops to make. As usual, I ended up missing a turn.  This took me past a store that had every square inch of their windows covered with advertising posters.  The sign on the door said Beauty Supply. I needed one item I was pretty picky about, so I went in there, doubtful they would have it. I was dead wrong. 


It turned out to be quite a unique store. The owner had stocked it floor to ceiling, the aisles were narrow with a wide wild wonderland of inventory. You could walk in there looking one way and come out completely transformed. No one would recognize you. You could even buy stuff to reshape your body.  There was inventory hanging from the ceiling, as well as stashed in baskets sitting on the floor. 


Dolly Parton could have had a field day in there. One of her humerous quotes about her looks is "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!"


I had a fancifal time, dreaming up a different me. They also had some wild party dresses or fancy prom wear plus extoci shoes in rather large sizes. I began to notice many things were designed for big and tall women, then I realized it was a transexual's paradise.  For a man who wants to transform into a women for a night, this store had everything he could possibly need including exotic large evening footwear. 


I had a great time just checking the place out. I've been in beauty supply stores before, but nothing I've ever seen compared to this store.   I was able to inspect first hand all manner of things, I had heard about but never seen for myself in person, like jumbo fanny enhancers.  They had wigs for all ethnic groups, exotic lingere, unique hats, caps, turbans, feathers, rhinestones, boas, 2 inch fake nails and a lotion or potient for every square inch of your body. 


This reminds me of a funny story a male friend told me. He went out one night, proceeding to get very drunk. He remembered bringing home a beautiful shapely date to spend the night with.  He described her beautiful curly black hair, her long eyelashes, her big beautiful smile, her well accented top and bottom.  


A few things happened in the dark, that he was not aware of due to his inebriated state. 


When he woke up in the morning, he took one look and screamed.  His date was a  totally different person.  Gone were her top and bottom  enhancing underwear, her beautiful hair was laying deflated on the bedside table,  revealing her thin gray super short crew cut hair, her eye lashes were next to the sink, her makeup washed down the drain and her beautiful teeth were  in a cereal bowl soaking. 


He said he went to bed with a curvy beauty queen, but woke up to a toothless bald flat woman with short gray hair and no eyebrows or eyelashes.  


We laughed about it, comparing it to taking home the grand-daughter and waking up with the grandma. 

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