Sunday, June 15, 2014

Friday the 13th Weekend of Crazy

Somehow some way I have to learn to climb up on the roof and fix it. I've paid 3 different people to repair it and guess what.

Opened up my inside overhead cabinets to find them an inch deep in water. The scream was heard around the lake. 

Lately so much of my stuff has been flooded that I might as well live on a boat again. I swear, my boat was much drier than this RV. I repaired my boat leaks shortly after I bought it and it remained dry the next 12 years. My RV is proving differently. Of course flooding the toy box aka the cargo carrier box aka the tool box... was perhaps maybe just my fault. *SIGH*

I have a ton of flimsy excuses why I don't wish to climb on the roof:

I am just not as agile anymore. 
Body parts have fused together in strange ways.
Matter of fact, I am missing a few parts here and there too.
I'm too fluffy. 
My body is beat to pieces (and covered in scars to prove it.)
I loaned out my walker. (True!)
I loaned out my cane. (True!)
I'm parked on concrete, not a soft landing if I fall off the daggum roof. 
The ladder is difficult. 
The ladder is too short. 
The ladder doesn't like me.
I get dizzy.
Heights without rails sort of scare me.
It's hot up there.
The dog won't go with me.
Once up there, whatever I forgot will be down here.
The dog can't dial 911.

In case you are wondering, a new roof is out of the question unless I sell 803 more "Hurricanes and Hangovers" at retail price or 3,214 at wholesale price. Easier said than done, but worth a shot.

BANG! 

Then my friends came to visit and it was all fun and games until someone broke my nearly new awesome folding rocking chair while doing something the rocking chair wasn't intended to do. They had to go home and left. Seriously they had another engagement. For a few weeks now I have been in heaven on earth being able to rock away for the first time in many years. Rocking is very soothing and I jumped up in the mornings, to grab coffee, go outside and rock away while the sun came up. Many evenings I rocked while the sun set. It was soothing, it was healing, it was fun, it was comforting. I even found out recently that rocking chairs have a ton of beneficial health benefits. I guess you could say I kind of fell in love with the rocker.

Even my doggy loves me to hold him while we rock away together. It was all such great fun and most of all comforting. I never knew it could end. POOF, just like that. Two other friends showed up and tried to help me patch the rocker back together. *Sigh*

Hours later some sort of fire at the electrical post caused a meltdown. Now I had no electricity and it was almost dark thirty.

Finally I pealed myself off the ceiling, to go deal with the electrical nightmare.

I was scared silly out there with rubber gloves and wooden sticks trying to remove my RV plug from the offending smoking socket. This after making a phone call to an RV angel who was willing to talk to this fool on the phone. I am terrified of electricity. I've been shocked, I've been hit by lightning (more than once too.) So yeah, I am one great big WIMP when it comes to electrical mishaps.

It's been super hot today too. Very hot! I drank almost a gallon of iced tea and two glasses of juice. I am still thirsty.

Before I could fix the electrical mess, my phone rang. It was a close friend of mine who is hundreds of miles away but threatening to come see me one of these days. Another sailor. The dates keep changing. A new tack, an old boat. Or should I say an old goat. Naaaah... that would be baaaaa...d.

I'm afraid I interrupted him with a great big belly laugh. I was surveying the park from my place on the hill. That's when I noticed IT.

For some insane reason, a woman was parading around naked in the parking lot where I workamp. I couldn't stop laughing. It just seemed well, so hilarious! All this weird calamity around me and now there's a grown woman in her birthday suit strutting around the parking lot in her flip flops.

Like I said, it was a VERY hot day.

My friend on the phone was giggling too as I described the scene. It started with me saying "Hmm, (giggle, laugh, roar) looks like (snicker, giggle)  a naked woman (laugh, snort, giggle) in the parking lot. Let me put on my glasses. (Laugh, giggle, roar, snicker) Um, by golly, (uncontrollable laughter) it IS a naked woman in the parking lot. (Giggle, laugh, hold my ribs, and roar raucous laughter) Yep, she is walking around naked in her flip flops. (Giggle, giggle, giggle!) Oh there (snicker, laugh, giggle)  she's opening a pickup truck door, ah, she is pulling out some clothes. Now she is carrying the clothes but walking around (Giggle, laugh, snort, giggle) naked in her flip flops.

I couldn't stop laughing! My friend on the other end of the phone was roaring too, making funny comments. We had to get off the phone, we were making each other laugh so hard we couldn't carry on a conversation anymore.

A few minutes later, the woman eventually got dressed right there in the parking lot.

I calmed back down. But it WAS funny! 

Now without rocking, I've been seriously reconsidering ALL things.

Long and hard, I've thought about my future.

I just don't think growing up is going to work for me. 


~~~~~~~~~
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They Even Sell a Naked Book!



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