Monday, August 10, 2015

my typing terrible lately, please forgive me

love the wonderful comments and suggestions, thank you so much

you make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me grateful

i woke up alive and that sure beats the alternative!

ONE DELIGHTFUL THING ABOUT A  SWOLLEN HAND IS THAT IT TAKES YEARS OFF  oops caps were stuck
omitting wrinkles!  wheeeeeeeeeee!

i fought hard to straighten fingers on left hand while hollering "ohhhhhh ouch ugh grrrrrr... hurry up and take the dang picture!"

the camera clicked and my fingers instantly curled back up

the worst thing about surgery is the horrific cocktail of drugs and chemicals and the lack of fair warning... such as the entire system clogs up then days later in extreme agony I lost 12 pounds... and stopped up the sewer system... ugh... my apologies to the rv park!

shhhhhhhhh... please don't tell them it was me, i had no idea this was a tragic side effect!

the ridiculous hospital discharge papers suggest sodas and junk foods which are sugars and more chemicals when they should suggest eat prunes  6 times a day... along with a gallon of juice and 2 gallons of water

if you are planning surgery, my advice to you is DON'T!!!

i am still hoarse from the tube they jammed down my throat, even though it was unnecessary, but hospital policy, oh my gosh i am so sick of hearing about policy and computer systems... and everyone has to do this...

i am so hoarse that on the phone strangers call me sir and i don't bother to correct them, but it's funny to me

what's not so funny...

the patient is of the least importance

i did this to save my hand, but everyday i wonder if i chose correctly, being that i was in extreme pain when i made the do or die decision

oh and i've learned hospital staff hate my type, i am not a sheeple and i deeply resented being treated like a soul-less, brain-less assembly part in a car factory,

i asked questions and was told to shut up and everyone has to do this or do that or it was policy...

everyone else is jumping off the bridge so we're going to push you off  too... 

5 minutes before surgery some official rushed in demanding i sign a plethora of papers that filled up a notebook bigger than the one i used to lug to school, i said "whoa! i need my reading spectacles, and i struggled to sit up and begin reading this huge pile of papers while the staff made constant threats "just sign it! we'll tell you what it says..." followed by a one sentence explanation summing up the current 5 page double sided document... followed by more documents in assorted colors with teensy sized fonts designed for a mouse to read... but i insisted on reading while staff stressed me out repeatedly talking in increasingly loud voices like I had suddenly gone deaf..

i said look here, i am not deaf and i can't read and think with you shouting at me!

i might as well have been talking to a stone wall as a team of staff bolted through the door ordering me to sign the papers without reading them followed by threats, and i stubbornly thinking my signature is very important to me and i want to read before signing this... or anything!

at some point when i asked to be left alone for 10 minutes of meditation so i could spiritually prepare myself and calm down, because by now they had me so over stressed that i was afraid and terrified, seemed to me a patient should enter surgery fully calm and at peace...

ha ha ha ha... i know... i must be wildly insane to cling to this belief, but i do

they acted like i requested the taj mahal be rebuilt in my honor in under a day, and voices were raised and some staff began speaking about me to my friend in the same room as if i suddenly ceased to exist

"helloooooo... i am right here listening to you and my IQ is above room temperature... please stop treating me like a deaf idiot...

but more staff barged in the door threatening me that they were going to cancel my surgery and me flailing about for a kleenex... can't read this stack of papers and cry at same time... while people shout and threaten me...

surgery was going to be earlier than scheduled because the operating room had finished up with the previous patients faster than scheduled,  whether they rushed through the surgeries before me or the patient hurried up and died, i don't know, but they were not hastening my surgery because it was a good thing for the patient but because it was convenient for them and in the 16 hours i had thus far waited for surgery, after agreeing to it,  they couldn't find time to bring  this two pound stack of paperwork until 3 minutes before wheeling me out the door...

i am still appalled.

what ever happened to calm caring medical professionals? i am so waaaaaaaaaaay behind the times... medical decisions seem to be decided by people in tiny cubicles hiding behind computers with no medical training as a doctor, and as sheeple i am supposed to blindly go along, shut up, sign here and hand over my brain on a platter  LOL

at one point when a nurse said they were operating on my right hand, i about had a heart attack, as i explained NO it's my left arm!

would i wake up with the wrong arm in bandages? had the nurse failed to notice my lumpy left wrist still swaddled in the old splint?

the door flew open
some doc i had never seen before scurried in and scribbled his initials on my left elbow then bolted out of the room...

those initials are stubbornly still on my arm like some awful homemade tattoo

well......... life is goof!

i woke up alive and it beats pushing daisies, i am lucky, 
thank you for all your wonderful wishes

now pardon me while i go find my funny bone and plaster on a big smile!

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7 comments:

  1. Being a bad patient is always a good idea! So, keep asking all the questions and demanding that they give you answers that you can understand, instead of their usual gobbledygook.

    You sound a lot more sane today than you did a couple of days ago, so hopefully you are mending. I assume you have someone to get you back and forth to the doctor and for groceries. If not, don't be afraid to ask. I am not near you, but someone must be who reads these posts.

    Falling and breaking something is my biggest fear in my traveling alone. Ditto for getting sick and needing to be in the hospital when I am way out in the middle of nowhere, so I can imagine what you are going through.

    Judy (the other lady with the electric bike)
    http://grandmajjb.blogspot.com/


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  3. So a swollen hand takes years off?? Think I'll go beat my face into the nearest wall. I'll let you know if that works
    you sound better so that's good. Take care and stay as safe as you can. Almost forgot, Martha Petru

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  4. What the hell kind of hospital were you in anyway. I neve heard anything so awful. Some one dropped the ball there and they weren't going to take the fall for it so they had to get you to sign all those papers fast. Surely you can write a letter to someone about this.
    But glad you stuck to your guns. Heal well and fast

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  5. Whoa,what hospital did you go to? Sounds like that place needs to be shut down.When I had my gallbladder surgery my doctors all came in,sat down and explained to me everything that would go on and yes,what could go wrong.All my nurses were great and they sure didn't discharge me and tell me to eat junk food!

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  6. Hey you two just want you to know you're being thought of today and pray that your still mending. Stay safe, martha Petru

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  7. What an ordeal. It would make a great segment for a reality show. HMMMM!

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