Thursday, August 06, 2015

It's Alive

woke up alive and straining to smile and laugh

sure beats crying

thank you for sending positive thoughts along my way I FEEL GOOD WARM VIBES, THANK YOU!!!

doc claims this surgery saved my hand and wrist so that it will be functional again

foggy on timeline for healing

guess i am bionic woman now but still can't use left arm or hand

putting on leg brace is slow torture but i eventually get it on

dressing myself is a nightmare, only a few things i can put on with one hand plus bandages present huge problems

i have these old t-shirt style sleep shirts oh so comfy but very thin not exactly thick enough for going out to walk doggy

brushing long hair with one hand takes an hour if i am lucky, ironically i cut about 8 inches off my hair before this madness started, dont wish to cut it all off, though thought of shaving it and buying a wig

everything i try to do is punctuated with "ouch..ack...ohhhh...dang....shooot....ouch...argh...!@#$(*&^%$#...and sometimes I screams!!!

i drop things, break things and curse stuff i cant open or close or reach or move

found an old rv park stuck between a railroad track and a small airport, teeny tiny lots, mostly long term folks, 10 miles from transmission repair and 5 miles from medical campus

so lucky cause my bedroom where i languish with arm up above heart has 3 windows and a view of barbwire tall fence with pine trees planted in a row on other side of fence, i stare out and drift in and  out of reality

i only sleep 1-2 hours at a time, eat very tiny portions drink tons of liquids and struggle to walk at sunrise and sunset cause i need/want to keep circulation going

the discharge instructions are ludicrous, if I follow them, I be in worst shape, i think they gave me wrong papers or they want me  to be beholden to medical madness

i often hide under big faded purple hat, dark glasses and strange attire, hat been with me since caribbean days, big, faded and silly but it keeps sun off me  and hides my dreadlocks

i smile at folks and they stare at me strangely cause i have to hold bandaged arm high up like a school child trying to get noticed

manager here was real nice to me, looked at leg brace and big bandaged arm with huge swollen hand, bandaids stuck all over my good arm, neck, chest, my voice so hoarse barely above a whisper and i try to crack a joke,..

you think i look bad... you should see the guy that lost this fight...

one chatty person asked "what happened to you?"


i am blessed to have a friend help me some but they need to leave soon, so it's all so stressful cause i can't drive my rig, i already tried and just can't, not yet but i pray and meditate and do self hypnosis and promise myself unicorns to ride, angels to float around wit me  and soar with the eagles across big rainbows and swim with the other mermaids

exhausted now, took me long time to bang this out with one hand and battle with spell heckler

i spent an hour trying to brush knots out of hair, down right front shoulder, then i tossed hair around to my back. i was tired from effort so  i sat to rest at motorhome dining booth where i type this with back of booth facing kitchen sink, later i walk doggy outside briefly then i ask friend just waking up how my hair look in back and he say oh let me take picture and show you...

the bottle brush in basket at sink had apparently stuck to my hair and i couldn't feel it, so i was walking around with doggy outside looking like this

comedy in motion... no wonder folks were staring and giggling

life is goof

at least i am good for a laugh!


  1. Your hair is beautiful, but I can see how managing it in the near future will be a real problem. I know finances can be a problem, but is there any way you can get a temporary health aide a few time a week? Public heath? medicaide? I son't know how such things work, but surely your doctors office should be able to help you get some help when your friend is gone. Being alone is nice on a normal day, but it is hard to care for your self with only one hand.

  2. I think you should work the brush in hair thing. Put a different kitchen accessory in your hair each day -- spatula, spoon, egg beater -- and blithely walk about. Maybe contact QVC about becoming a full-time model.

    So good to hear the medicos didn't put you in a box. Any day above ground beats the other option.

  3. Well you could have had something worse stuck in your hair. Sad how people just giggle at you instean of asking if you needed help with your brush. Hope you make a speedy recovery and I think what Merikay suggested might be a good idea. They may even have a free help center for you.


Life is goof!