Monday, November 09, 2009

Bad decisions make good stories


The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email from work with the phrase “Regards” again.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately erase your computer history if you die.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Bad decisions make good stories.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles... (scarey thought!)

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
Three — one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, we have machines to do that now.
How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
One — he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

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