Monday, November 23, 2009

Painful Times

Sometimes the waves of pain hit. I can't think, my mind is filled with pain. Due to the numerous harmful effects of prescription pain killers, I avoid them unless I am screaming uncontrollably.

I have bottles of the stuff, and I try to leave it in the bottle. Many cause kidney and liver damages, so I don't want to add insult to injury, if at all possible.

But sometimes the hurt is overwhelming and all I can do is stop what I am doing and focus on breathing exercises and chanting until the physical annoyance subsides. Sometimes this makes me incredibly sleepy and sleep is a great way to ease pain too. But if you are out in public, this can pose a serious problem.

Once the pain is gone, I get on with life! I am grateful to be alive today and tremendously thankful for the times I am pain free.

I recently got stuck in the back of a large discount store. I was suddenly in so much pain, my head was swimming and I was fighting the urge to just scream out loud! I frantically looked around the huge store for a place to sit and was trying to make my way to the restrooms and sit there if need be, though it's not that comfy, if you don't really need the toilet, as many public bathrooms don't have a place to sit except the toilet.

Thank goodness I had a rolling buggy cat with me, as I was leaning heavily on it while I searched for a place to rest before I just passed right out.

The angels must have been watching me and carefully steered me to the only place to sit in the entire humongous store: a cheap dining set that was on display. I quickly pulled out a chair and sat down. I began my breathing exercises and inner chanting, until the pain subsided.

Years ago, I spent a small fortune with a legitimate hypnotist who taught me a great deal about pain management. I won't go into the whole detail here, but basically, I focus on an object and think of a very pleasant area (it's the same place each time) while I silently chant over and over until the pain is gone.

It works, but it takes time and focusing, hence staring at one object and clearing out the brain. Thinking of the pleasant place, brings on a flood of good feelings, while I chant to myself silently over and over, which also clears the brain. Basically, I am telling my brain to cease all functions except eliminating the pain. The brain is a powerful tool that many of us woefully under use. By trying to chase out all other thoughts, I then try to channel all my brain power into eliminating the pain.

It's not easy, but it works!

After awhile, in the store, consciousness came back to me and I became aware that other shoppers were passing by me with strange looks pointed at me, which embarrassed me. I grew up in the old south and blush at the tiniest indiscretion.

I needed to rest a few more minutes, to regather my strength to get out of the store and into the car and home again. Well at least to my temporary home, where I could rest without worry.

I began studying the table, rubbing my hands on it. I pulled out pen and paper and pretended to scribble down notes. I squeezed the padding of the chairs and made a scribble and so on. Now the shoppers were ignoring me. Then I discovered on a pole behind me was the computer price checker thingy. So I slid my chair over and began pulling things out of my cart and beeping them through, whenever a shopper appeared on my aisle.

An employee never turned up, thankfully, but if they had, I would have had to tell them the truth, I was feeling quite ill and just needed to sit for a few minutes. I noticed all their other furniture, sofas, chairs and so on, were on high shelves, so you could look at them but not sit on them. I can't imagine buying sitting furniture and not being able to sit on it first, but I guess that's how the discount stores do it. I don't know, I wasn't shopping for furniture.

So today, I started on my projects and then keep getting interrupted by the pain, but I stop, do my thing, and the pain goes away, then I go back to work.

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