Well, enough of this foolishness. The pain is making me come unhinged.
I've got to steel myself to get ready for a DOCTOR tomorrow. I haven't been to a doctor in ages. Just not in my budget right now. I'm still paying off the hospital and medical mess from ICU. I am struggling to stay alive, to ignore the pain. I quit taking all my medications too, just way too pricey and the side effects weren't any fun. I am fighting to get well with just nutrition and judicial use of herbs, plus briskly walking. Add prayer, meditation and angels to that mix.
I've got to steel myself to get ready for a DOCTOR tomorrow. I haven't been to a doctor in ages. Just not in my budget right now. I'm still paying off the hospital and medical mess from ICU. I am struggling to stay alive, to ignore the pain. I quit taking all my medications too, just way too pricey and the side effects weren't any fun. I am fighting to get well with just nutrition and judicial use of herbs, plus briskly walking. Add prayer, meditation and angels to that mix.
It's been working, until the pain set in again.
I've been contemplating for a weeks now, about going to a doctor. The pain is horrendous. I pray everyday it will go away for good, but it seems to be getting worse.
Something might be wrong. You think?
Now the pain has reached an all time high. I can no longer sleep for more than an hour or so at a time. Last night the pain woke me up 11 times. I can hardly think anymore. So tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I've managed to borrow a car to drive, so I don't have to drive the RV, as rumor is, their parking lot is tiny.
Only severe pain will drive me to the madness of running up another bill and seeing a doctor. I noticed today, I am looking haggard from lack of rest. My eyes are dark, my face looks old. I'm able to meditate the pain away for awhile, then it sneaks back up on me with a vengeance. I am so tired, but sleep won't come with this pain drilling a hole in my silly brain making me nuttier than a pecan tree.
Do I sound scared? Well, I am. Doctors tend to deliver bad news. I just want the good news, thank you very much.
Please tell me I am mentally deranged, nothing is wrong, the pain is my imagination. Then I can just imagine it away. That would make me a very happy camper.
I am so tired, sleep is fitful. I try to close my eyes, take myself far, far away to a sunny day by a beautiful cold mountain river. Then I slide into the cold river. I get very cold, from head to tail. The pain goes away as I get colder and colder. I slither under the covers trying to stay warm, but I am slipping beneath the cold deep river, letting it wash my pain away.
I've been contemplating for a weeks now, about going to a doctor. The pain is horrendous. I pray everyday it will go away for good, but it seems to be getting worse.
Something might be wrong. You think?
Now the pain has reached an all time high. I can no longer sleep for more than an hour or so at a time. Last night the pain woke me up 11 times. I can hardly think anymore. So tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. I've managed to borrow a car to drive, so I don't have to drive the RV, as rumor is, their parking lot is tiny.
Only severe pain will drive me to the madness of running up another bill and seeing a doctor. I noticed today, I am looking haggard from lack of rest. My eyes are dark, my face looks old. I'm able to meditate the pain away for awhile, then it sneaks back up on me with a vengeance. I am so tired, but sleep won't come with this pain drilling a hole in my silly brain making me nuttier than a pecan tree.
Do I sound scared? Well, I am. Doctors tend to deliver bad news. I just want the good news, thank you very much.
Please tell me I am mentally deranged, nothing is wrong, the pain is my imagination. Then I can just imagine it away. That would make me a very happy camper.
I am so tired, sleep is fitful. I try to close my eyes, take myself far, far away to a sunny day by a beautiful cold mountain river. Then I slide into the cold river. I get very cold, from head to tail. The pain goes away as I get colder and colder. I slither under the covers trying to stay warm, but I am slipping beneath the cold deep river, letting it wash my pain away.
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| The cold, cold river. The South Saluda River, in the Cherokee Foothills, South Carolina. As a child and young adult, I spent many hot summer days, in this cold river. People used to say, you could get in the cold river and it would cool you down for a week. The Cherokees called these mountains and foothills "The Great Blue Hills of God." This area served as a majestic home for this ancient tribe. Indeed one of the nation's most beautiful byways runs through this area, it's an old Indian trail, now paved over as a two lane highway, but formerly used by the Cherokees and later the English and French fur traders. |
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| Highway 11 in South Carolina is aptly named The Cherokee Foothills Scenic Highway. If ever you get a chance to drive this byway, you will be treated to astounding beauty. |
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