So Sad

We're just one big puddle of tears.

Harley dog's favorite toy is his beloved red frisbee that Donovan gave him last summer. He plays with it every day unless it's raining. He catches it then returns it for another toss. Such a tiny dog, such a big Frisbee.

Donovan visited us, at Lake Greenwood this past fall.  Harley grabbed up his frisbee and plopped it at Donovan's feet. Donovan was impressed that Harley could remember who gave him this toy. Since Donovan couldn't pick up the frisbee easily, I handed him my long handle grabber. (I had sent Donovan a long handle grabber as a gift too.) He used it to pick up the frisbee then throw it for Harley to fetch. Harley would return it to his feet and they would start the game all over again. Sometimes Harley would drop the frisbee, then teasingly grab it again to play tug a war, trying to hold the fribee while Donovan maneuvered the long handle grabber to snatch it up. We laughed and giggled.

Rest In Peace
Donovan, my beloved brother
1957-2015

I took this picture of Donovan at Hunting Island. It was one of his favorite pictures and he posted it at the top of Facebook as his header. I have a lovely story about that day and a thousand memories about that week, but I am too upset to write about it right now.

Seasons Of Grief


Shall I wither and fall like an autumn leaf,
From this deep sorrow - from this painful grief?
How can I go on or find a way to be strong?
Will I ever again enjoy life's sweet song?

Sometimes a warm memory sheds light in the dark
And eases the pain like the song of a Meadow Lark.
Then it flits away on silent wings and I'm alone;
Hungering for more of the light it had shone.

Shall grief's bitter cold sadness consume me,
Like a winter storm on the vast angry sea?
How can I fill the void and deep desperate need
To replant my heart with hope's lovely seed?

Then I look at a photo of your playful smiling face
And for a moment I escape to a serene happy place;
Remembering the laughter and all you would do,
Cherishing the honest, caring, loving spirit of you.

Shall spring's cheerful flowers bring life anew
And allow me to forget the agony of missing you?
Will spring's burst of new life bring fresh hope
And teach my grieving soul how to cope?

Sometimes I'll read a treasured card you had given me
And each word's special meaning makes me see,
The precious gift of love I was fortunate to receive,
And I realize you'd never want to see me grieve.

Shall summer's warm brilliant sun bring new light,
And free my anguished mind of its terrible plight?
Will its gentle breezes chase grief's dark clouds away,
And show me a clear path towards a better day?

When I visit the grave where you lie in eternal peace,
I know that death and heaven brought you release;
I try to envision your joy on that shore across the sea,
And, until I join you, that'll have to be enough for me.

For all the remaining seasons of my life on earth,
There'll be days I'll miss your merriment and mirth,
And sometimes I'll sadly long for all the yesterdays;
Missing our chats and your gentle understanding ways.

Yet, the lessons of kindness and love you taught me,
And the good things in life you've helped me to see;
Linger as lasting gifts that comfort and will sustain,
Until I journey to that peaceful shore and see you again.

Poem by © Belinda Stotler

A note from Belinda:
Poetry helped me and I hope my poem helps others.