Friday, May 18, 2012

Wild Wild West At The Park

This day-use park where I volunteer in Georgia as a workamper is like the wild wild west.  It will settle down soon I hope.  Last year the season started out wild and crazy, ditto for this year.

Usually the park is sedately quiet, with the occasional boater using the boat launch ramp. Other times it comes alive with eclectic visitors.

Maybe it's just a serious case of spring fever has seized the brains of otherwise law abiding citizens.  Or maybe there are just too many laws all around and folks come out to the country to sow their wild oats.

Four simple rules are posted at the park entrance but are mostly  thoroughly ignored.

15 MPH Speed Limit
No Alcohol 
Pets Must Be Leashed
Park in Designated Areas

Seems like folks are always trying to figure out how to get their vehicles off the road and into the woods as if the lake is just not near as nice unless they can have their vehicle parked up front,  blocking their view.

A scant few people take advantage of our scenic picnic areas. 

Harley and I were chased by an unfriendly loose brown and black pitbull that was rather frightening. Luckily we were almost home.  We had to run hide inside the wheel estate to avoid being attacked. Incredibly this family had brought their dogs to the park without leashes. The parents ignored my yells for them to come get their dog, instead dispatching their little kid who appeared to be 8 or 9  to come get the pitbull while they stood about 800 feet away staring at the lake pretending not to notice the commotion.

Somebody left behind two unlabeled 5 gallon square vats of a golden liquid at the far parking lot where the scenic picnic tables are.  I found the identical generic containers on the internet selling for $15 each empty. I was poking around the internet to determine what exotic liquids might be inside, since there were no labels. No telling what the liquid is but some body spent $30 on just the containers, filled them with something, then drove out here to the boonies just to bring us that treat. They were thoughtful enough to put them inside one of the garbage cans.

But isn't that just weird? What's in the containers that they drove all this way just to dispose of them?

The folks that left behind the overloaded baby diaper 10 feet from the garbage can were not so thoughtful. (These idiots are raising the next generation?)

I found the strange vats because the Budweiser brats are back. They  cruise the park tossing out Budweiser beer cans along the side of the park road, despite our dozens of trash cans. They also smashed a few Budweiser bottles in the parking lot. I had picked up all their cans, to throw away when I found the two strange 5 gallon containers hogging  the garbage can.

This park is at the dead end of a very curvy 2.5 mile country road that makes a hard 90 degree turn then dead ends at the scenic picnic area. The closest town is nearly 10 miles away. People come flying down here at 60 miles an hour, right  past the 15mph signs, taking that hard turn with screeching tires.  I hear them turn around at the picnic area, then I watch them race back out at 70mph. Loads of folks cruise through here swerving down the park road while talking or texting on their phones. That must be the in-thing to do these days, ride around remote countryside texting or talking while frantically driving like they are racing to a fire. 

On a funny note, the volunteer fire department drives down here once a week.   You can tell when the new recruits are learning to drive the trucks. They loudly grind the gears while bunny hopping with the clutch.

While walking, several times in the short 2 weeks I have been here,  Harley and I have had to leap into the woods because of distracted drivers that were playing with their phones and running off the road towards us.  I figure we'll have another fender bender any day now when a tree jumps out in front of them.

A boy and girl came roaring down here on an ATV. They took the 90 degree right angle turn so fast, the ATV leaned  up on 2 wheels, almost laying down on its side,  for what seemed like 3 minutes, it looked like they were going to flip over then roll down the sloping boat parking lot landing on their silly heads.The ATV had no roll-bars. The boy was laughing loudly but the girl was screaming hysterically so the folks two states away could hear her. I'm just grateful the ATV righted itself, like a giant unseen hand reached down from the heavens above and saved the fools at the last split second. I don't think a Hollywood stunt driver could duplicate what these kids did. I was walking the dog about 20-30 feet away at the time.  I am sure my jaw fell to my knees while I was fumbling for my cell phone thinking we were going to need an ambulance (or a shovel and a hearse.)

Garbage and cleaning aren't on my official park duties, but I am often seen retrieving crap out of the bushes. There is a maintenance crew that drops in daily to clean the restrooms and pickup the garbage from the cans liberally scattered throughout the park. But during the day and night, there is more roadside garbage  thrown out windows of speeding park visitors. I try to pick it all up as I walk the dog but it's frustrating. Last year I was hit by a flying soda can thrown from a speeding car.

I want the park to be beautiful without all this rubbish cluttering up nature.  I surely don't understand the mentality of visiting an exquisite remote public park just to toss garbage out the car windows. I found McDonald's litter today in the middle of the park road,  yet the closest McDonald's is 14 miles away. It's mind boggling!  Are the raccoons getting take-out from McDonald's?  

The fist night of the fishing tourney, not a single soul remembered to pay their boat launching  fees in the honor box  which is referred to as the iron ranger.  Only one had an annual exemption permit displayed.

Oh and the lovers. We get more lovers than swimmers, picnickers or boaters. Sometimes I think half the county must be having clandestine love  affairs out here.  It's rather comical when you think about it. Some of things Harley and I see on our walks is not G-rated at all.  I leave this up to your imagination, so as not to offend any readers. 

Spring fever must be in the air and folks are just plain wild and crazy lately.

Even my dog acts goofy some days. Small wonder that rumors abound of a monkey in the park.


  1. Love those kind of people. as someone I know likes to say all the time-you cannot fix stupid:)

  2. Sounds like the beginning of a Carl Hiassen novel!


Life is goof!