Monday, November 21, 2016

Twilight Zone

I am poking around a unique area of Florida, I hesitate to say where, not wanting to insult the nice folks I've met in casually trying to amass "complicated" information, but still it's a fantasy of unreality where nothing is certain. 

The "complicated" information is trying to find out RV camp and park rates.

Very strange area, somewhat friendly for the most part, but lots of chaos in trying to track down parks and "correct" rates.

Oodles of small RV parks scattered far and wide but getting accurate information is wild and wacky. 

I need a new crystal ball. 

Mine broke from sheer befuddlement. 

Internet says one price (they don't seem to honor it anyhow) or they have no webpage at all, they might return calls they might not, the posted rates on a sign out front are often wrong and several claimed to not know there is a sign with rates (they don't honor) out front right by the entrance to their park. Some didn't even know they had a webpage.



Even rates on the bulletin board next to a closed office were wrong and not current in spite of saying 2016/2017 rates. I met up with someone outside the closed office who seriously told me "Oh we changed the rates but it's pretty close to that except....."  and they went on to tell me a long list of exceptions and changes finishing it up with "but it's pretty close to that" pointing back at the "wrong" sheet of paper on the bulletin board.

Talking with someone in the office, if that comes to past finally through telephone tag or managing to track them down in person or the office magically opens at a random time when I happened to be there and they may give out confusing conflicting information requiring copious notes to keep up with. 

I recently left an office with their rate sheet (48 different rates by day, week, month, season, location, lease and various date considerations) with 7 post-it notes stuck to it with more scribbled information I was trying to keep up with on the various details of a 10% discount card works on these rates at those times but not on those rates at these times and these rates include this but those rates don't include that. This rate requires that deposit but that rate requires an extra deposit of a different amount and oh you can't reserve next fall until this spring and only then if.... and I ran out of paper and their phone was ringing. So I still don't know the IF because by the time they got off the phone, it was ringing again and I forgot about the IF and left. 

Who would have thought something so simple could be so complicated?

I also face  my questions answered with more questions and it takes a LONG time to get a final answer if I ever get one. Here's a recap of the last conversation I had at the last park in person with a  guy who was in the office, behind the counter.

Me: Hello! How are you?
Them: Did you want something?
Me: Yes, I was curious about your daily and monthly rates.
Them: Oh, did you have lasagna for lunch?
Me: Um, no. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Does that change the rates?
Them: I wish I had lasagna for lunch. How many of you are there?
Me: Just me and the dog. 
Them: What breed?
Me: He's a mixed mutt. 
Them: But what breed?
Me: He is a mixed breed and only weighs six and a half pounds. Do you allow pets?
Them: Where are you from?
Me: I just came in from Georgia. 
Them: Are you from there?
Me: No. Can you tell me your monthly rate or daily rate please?
Them: Do you have slide-outs?
Me: No, is there a separate charge for slide outs?
Them: Where's your dog?
Me: He is outside in the RV. Can you tell me your rates please?
Them: When are you coming?
Me: Well I wanted to find out the rates for now and the rates for next fall. 
Them: How long is your rig?
Me: It's 28 feet, do you charge by the foot?
Them: What's your tag number?
Me: It's 123 XYZ, can you tell me the rates please?
Them: Did you ask the manager?
Me: Uh, no, where's the manager?
Them: Do you need 50amp service?
Me: 30 or 50 amp will work, any idea on those rates?
Them: Which site are you looking at?
Me: I haven't looked at any sites yet. Can you tell me your rates please?
Them: Oh I don't know, I don't work here. I'm just filling in for someone that went to take her kid to the doctor. 
Me: OK, what is their name? 
Them: Do you have a car?
Me: No. What time should I check back about those rates?
Them: How do you get around without a car?
Me: I drive the RV or ride a bicycle. 
Them: Oh I love motorcycles. What kind of motorcycle do you have?
Me: Well, um, thank you for your time. Who should I ask for when I check back about the rates?
Them: Are you paying cash or credit card?
Me: Either one, is there a cash discount?
Them: I can't take credit cards, I don't know how. 
Me: If I paid cash how much would you charge me?
Them: What year is your rig?
Me: OK, um, thank you for your um help. I will check back later about those rates. 
Them: So you don't want a spot?
Me: Do you have a spot open? How much is it? 
Them: Let me answer the phone, maybe it's someone who knows. Maybe you come back later? 

I nodded yes and left in a  hurry. 

My head hurt. 

If you figured out the rates from that conversation, let me know cause I missed it.

Back in the rig I told my dog "People like that make my head hurt!" and I burst out laughing. 

Years back in the Caribbean, I was stopped by the same fierce-some female cop twice in one day. The first time I was all smiles but I accidentally handed her the wrong (expired) paper that in those times served as my island driver's license. That resulted in a very loud stern lecture while I sat there grinning like a fool, nodding my head in agreement to her admonishments. There was no ticket. Phew!

The second time I had tied to my roof an upside down boat  bigger than my trusty rusty heap of a jeep. She was studying the huge boat sticking out fore and aft, much larger and longer than my little jeep. I had assorted ropes and lines tying it down. The look on her face was not happy. Matter of fact she looked pretty angry. 

I had a smile on my face and the correct license clutched in my hand. 

When she walked around to my driver's side she looked in my open jeep window at my goofy smiling face and interrupted my polite island-style  "Good afternoon, how are you today?" screeching at me "Oh it's YOU again! I should have KNOWN." Refusing my license and paperwork, she angrily waved me on with a massive sweep of her arm while yelling: 

"People like you make my head hurt!" 


Thank you for stopping by today!
I hope I didn't make your head hurt. 


  1. I share your pain. We're looking for a little spot in Texas, and we REQUIRE wi-fi. Very few sites actually give you rates and reliable information. I love rvparkreviews because sometimes there are comments with info on amenities, prices, and whether or not the owner of the park is a candidate for commitment. I can't imagine running a business without knowing what I sell my product for.

  2. Finding reliable WIfi is next to impossible and the cell phone companies are geared up for travelers very well. Others require long contracts, frustrating if you travel out of their range. Also the internet itself, the new webpages seek to hog as much bandwidth as possible and that is frustrating. I wish the parks would read the park reviews, they seem to never look at them, same for RV manufacturers and dealers that never read the RV forums to see what folks say about their products. I dont know why, but now I have to comment as anonymous and add my name as an afterthought. Dear Miss Mermaid


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