Catharsis

Being thankful.



Let's face facts. It's hard to be thankful each and every day. But thankful I must be. At least be thankful, it's not any worse, if it's not all better. That probably makes no sense to anyone but me.



Some days I wonder how my life puttered along fine for all these years, then last year went totally upside down, inside out and left me a great big mess.



Then I look back and think well, hmm, I sure had loads of good luck in the past. I had numerous adventures. I've lived in various abodes, such as houses, trailers, villas, apartments, sailboats, and now this old motorhome.



I've managed to travel for work and thus see different parts of our great big world. So much more I would like to experience. Maybe it will happen one day. Note to self: Forget the maybe, replace with WILL.



My silly mutt, I am really thankful for him, in spite of his latest penchant for busting up all his equipment. Yes, the little devil has broken 3 retractable leashes and unstuffed his stuffed toys. Now he misses being walked on a retractable leash or having a nice long one outside as his tether. He didn't chew them through, but sometimes he charges full speed ahead and *SNAP*.



He thinks he is a big ferocious dog. I am trying to train him to be a nice quiet puppy dog. He doesn't know he is small. Silly dog.



I'm thankful I haven't gone hungry since I was a teenager. Part of my teen years were seriously rough. Food wasn't around, I couldn't find steady work, I struggled to make ends meet and I wasn't even 18. It was a super stressful time, I didn't want to fall through the cracks. I kept telling myself, this is just temporary, it will get better.



It got much worse.



But eventually, perseverance paid off and things did get better. Much better.



Now, if I can somehow drum up that same enthusiasm I had as a teenager, convincing myself each day "This is temporary, it will get much better."



Just putting pen to paper, has its own catharsis. Maybe it will get better. Maybe this mess is just temporary. Now I have to turn those maybe's into it-will's.



Of course some have put me down, tried to drag me down, tried to convince me the adventure is over, I should "accept" my new lot in life and quit busying myself with foolish dreams.



But without my dreams, I have nothing. Maybe my dreams are a bit eccentric at times. Or maybe I'm just willing to make trade-offs to make them happen. Others think they are eccentric, but I think them realistic. So I keep right on dreaming. I keep focusing on making those dreams happen.



It seems every roadblock imaginable is being thrown my way, to force me to fall flat on my face, to fail at everything. Somehow, I keep climbing up over these hurdles, while praying for relief.



I'm not ready to give up the fight. Not yet. I am going to give it another go-round. See if I can't make my body straighten out and fly right.



When I land at my maker's doorstep one day, I hope I am scrambling hard, breathlessly saying "But I was so busy living life!" I sure don't want to arrive there saying "I did nothing" . Once I make it there, it's a one way trip, there is no coming back .

My motorhome. That's not my car. I don't have a car. This pictures was last winter. I had bought the motorhome, then found out in spite of it being always garaged before I bought it, the roof had a leak. My repairs had made it leak even worse. Yes, that can happen. I put this huge used tarp over it, then when it snowed, it still leaked. The tarp was so old, it was holy!  I was super sick while all this was happening and near freezing at night. But it got better. Eventually I got the roof fixed for good, the tarp was discarded and I got a mattress warmer to keep me snug at night. Things really do get better if you plug away each and every day.

Ahoy!
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Ooops

Dear Miss Mermaid is sick (yeah... right... she be crazy too, you say!)

So, this blog may or may not take a  short hiatus... (hmm... that covers all the bases).

Hurricanes and Hangoves by Dear Miss Mermaid is available with 15% off at Amazon.Com  Free shipping is available in some instances.

A favorite recent picture by Dear Miss Mermaid, taken in South Carolina

Ahoy!
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Who is The Wolfman?

Am I a birdbrain? Have I become scatterbrained?

Could be.

Is it age or illness or both or none?

I just want it to go away. Someone said, I always had a full plate and loads of projects going on.

True.

They hit that nail on the head.

I agree with Erma Bombeck, I want to think I used up all my talents.

Quoted from Erma Bombeck:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".

I am currently living in a barter situation. In exchange for a camping spot with electric, water and laundry, I am working part-time for the homeowners. No money, but a place for Wolfman Harley and I, to lay our (scatterbrained) head(s) at night.

It's in suburbia.

I'm lonesome in a strange sort of way. Writing requires tons of solitude. When not working for my rent, I am writing, designing, promoting my book, repairing the motorhome, walking the dog, playing with the dog, feeding the dog, feeding me, feeding them, cleaning up, fighting to get well, and juggling a nightmare.

Sometimes I actually do take a break, but rarely. Much of my break time consist of my refusal to work while eating. I think it's important to eat peacefully,without interruptions or work at hand.

I hit the bed exhausted each evening. I try to focus on healing before I pass over into slumber land. But I am up and down all night. Finally at daybreak, I am anxious to tackle the new day, even though I am still ensconced in a heavy fog.

My puppy loves to play when we first get in bed. He sleeps in his own little bed in the corner of my bed lately. He needs the extra warmth from the mattress warmer on nights like last night when it got to 55F degrees.

We sleep with the windows open, without heat, except for the mattress warmer.

When I go to bed, he hops up in my bed with one or more doggy toys. I toss these down the hallway of the motorhome. He runs to fetch them then races back to my bed, as if his overall time is of critical importance. One of his favorites is this huge cylindrical dog toy we call Bo-Bo.

I can say "Get Bo-Bo" and he will fetch his big oblong stuffed toy, that is bigger than him. He looks ridiculous running with it in his mouth, perpendicular to his own tiny body of six pounds. Sometimes after tossing Bo-Bo for repeated fetchings, I grab Bo-Bo and we wrestle for control. After a few minutes of playing he curls up in his tiny bed. Harley is my favorite waste of time, but he's been a healing dog. Gets me out walking, makes me laugh, but he's a ton of work too. Especially when he decides to unstuff his stuffed toys.

I am reduced to picking up tiny bits of fluff all over the place. Pets should come with their own vacuum cleaner.

On the other hand, Roseanne Barr once said something like she wasn't vacuuming until they made one she could ride on.

Sometime during the day, the little Wolfman puppy does one or more things that make me smile or laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

Going more than a day without laughter is bad for you. Akin to being seriously constipated.

Lately, I've been grumpy in my head. It's so easy to be outwardly grumpy, much harder to be grumpy and hide it. So I am battling the grumps, trying to keep them all to myself.

Sometimes I think I will only give the nightmare one hour per day. The other 23 hours I will deal with other stuff.

But nightmares have a way of wanting to consume your whole life.

So I pack up the nightmare for a moment, put on my happy face and try to do 1,001 things.

I try to remember to smile when I feel down. It feels instantly better. Try it now. Smile.

Smile some more.

There, now don't you feel better already?

This picture was taken at my friend's house in New England. When he saw it, he nicknamed Harley as  The Wolfman, or sometimes Wolfman Harley. Now I find myself calling him Wolfman, or Wolfman Harley or Little Wolfman.

Look at the closeup picture below. 

Is it frightening or funny?

Ahoy!
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Brainy Bird House

On the path less traveled, I find all sort of odd things to photograph. These whimsical bird houses, perched on a roof, caught my eye.



Welcome Bird Brains




Bird church

 

An upscale two story with columns and chimneys for friends of a feather.



Ahoy!
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Sailing Fun



One of the yachts, I sailed aboard often in the Caribbean.
It belongs to my dear friend, a fabulous musician.
We sailed with 3 electronic pianos, dozens of harps plus one crazy dog.

 I spent many happy years sailing around, messing about on boats.  I often say it was the time of my life!  I love every minute of what I am doing now, but nothing beats being on a sailboat in the Caribbean sunshine. 

For those of you that would like to learn boating terms, in case you yourself end up messing about in sailboats, in some far flung ports, here's a starter course for you. Free of charge. (Your lucky day!)

I worked on charter yachts as well as ran amok on private boats, plus owned my own modest sailboat, the Sea Rose, which I loved dearly. Here are the questions I often had to answer from greenhorns (newbies).
Dear Miss Mermaid answers Sailing questions:

What is a cockpit? (a place to drink)

What is a galley? (a place to make drinks)

What is a galley slave? (the bartender)

What is an ice box? (that thing with lukewarm beers in it)

What is a head? ( a place to deposit drinks when finished)
What is a stateroom? (that teeny closet like space with some foam padding to lay on after too many drinks)

How do you tell port from starboard? (Port is that red stuff in a bottle, starboard is the right side of the boat, if you are facing forward)

What is a boom? (that horizontal pole that slaps you in the head and goes BOOM!)
What is a dinghy? (that little boat behind the big boat, we've trained it to follow us around)

How do you start an outboard? (pull the cord, while ripping out shoulder and muttering curses)

What are the oars for? (so you can oar around at night)
Should we leave the sails up while on a mooring or anchored? (only if you have very good insurance)

Will one anchor be sufficient at night? (only if you have really good insurance)

Should we use two anchors at night? (yes, if you plan to sleep and/or don't have insurance)
What is a hanging locker? (that teensy slender cabinet with two coat hangers for you to store two weeks of clothes in)

What is a boat shower? (about a half gallon)

How do you tell private boats from charter boats? (private boats have too much junk on board, charter boats have too many people on on board)
How do you tell tourists from locals? (the tourists dress funny, the locals talk funny)
How do you tell a tourist from a traveler? ( a traveler brings one  small backpack and uses everything, a tourist brings over half his belongings from his beloved home, in large heavy assorted suitcases and bags, then uses one tenth  of it during their visit)
Do the wind and sails tip the boat? (Yes, but only you can tip the crew.)

I hope you feel substantially enlightened now, ready to go messing about in boats.

More on this later. ;)
 

Ahoy!
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May Your Turkey Be Plump

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving

from one crazy

Dear Miss Mermaid

 

Dear Miss Mermaid

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Recipe for a Bikini Tanned Turkey

How to Recipe for a Bikini Tanned Turkey
by Dear Miss Mermaid author of Hurricanes and Hangovers


Introduction


Learn how to make this sexy bikini turkey and give your family or guests a great laugh. Turkey isn't just for holidays, it's a great budget food. Leftovers go a long way making sandwiches and soup. For leftovers, pull off all the extra meat and refrigerate, then gently simmer the carcass on the stove or in a crockpot with herbs, for several hours. Strain and save leftover broth to cook dried beans or rice. You can also cool the broth and freeze it for later use.


Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You'll Need


a whole turkey

paprika

sage

tin foil

scissors

A SENSE OF HUMOR!

Steps


1 Step One
How big a turkey do you need?


You should allow 350g/12oz per person (with bone) but bear in mind that's just for one meal. Below are some example bird sizes, with extra allowed for hearty diners or leftovers.


2 Step Two
Preheat oven to 325F degrees.


Make sure turkey is completely thawed. Reach inside cavities and remove neck and giblets. Save for another recipe. Wash turkey and pat dry. Next, size up your turkey and use scissors to design a bikini bottom out of tin foil. Place on turkey.

For the bikini top, lay out a piece of tin foil. Use a small juice glass to draw 2 circles for the bra top, then draw out the straps, cut and place over turkey breasts.

Optionally, you can undo the wings, lift over the turkey neck and tie together with cooking twine (see resources below).


Spray a roasting pan liberally with non-stick spray, then place turkey in pan.


3 Step Three
Make sure the tin foil is smoothed flat on the skin. Next sprinkle the turkey with SAGE, this will give the turkey great flavor. Then sprinkle generously with PAPRIKA. This is going to give it that wonderful golden tan, so don't be skimpy on it. Gently pat the herbs against the skin, so they stick well.


Use a moist paper towel and gently wipe off excess herbs that have stuck to the tin foil bikini. (You don't want any herbs under the foil.)


Bake turkey in oven. When turkey is past half it's cooking time, gently, remove the bikini. Continue cooking until done.


6 to 8 pounds 2-1/2 to 3 hours
8 to 12 pounds 3 to 4 hours
12 to 16 pounds 4 to 5 hours
16 to 20 pounds 5 to 5-1/2 hours
20 to 24 pounds 5-1/2 to 6 hours

If using a meat thermometer, place the meat thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh, taking care that it does not touch any bone. Roast the turkey until the meat thermometer reaches 170-180 degrees F.


4 Step Four


When turkey is done pull out of oven and let sit 20-30 minutes while you assemble the rest of the meal, set the table etc. You may wish to cover turkey with a light foil tent to "hide the surprise bikini".

Use the poultry lifters to transfer the turkey to a serving platter. Your dinner is sure to be a comical hit!

Bon appetit from Dear Miss Mermaid!

Tips and Warnings


Try to make this turkey "top secret" and surprise the guests!


Everytime you check it, tell them it's a top secret recipe and everyone must leave the kitchen. Forbid anyone to look in the oven.


Don't forget to take a photo and send it to Dear Miss Mermaid!

WARNING: Making this recipe can cause serious comedy!

May your stuffing be tasty May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy Have never a lump. 
May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize, And may your holiday dinner Stay off your thighs!

Read about Dear Miss Mermaid's Daily Adventures at
DearMissMermaid.Blogspot.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHOP AMAZON
Earth's Biggest Selection
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Burned Whose Nuts?

I nearly burned down my friend's kitchen today. She said she's been wanting a complete makeover, with new cabinets, and countertops, but lacks the funds to do so. I had joked with her awhile back, that I would try to have a cooking fire in the kitchen to aid her cause, since she pays a handsome price for homeowners insurance.



One night she had told me, she was miffed that they raised her insurance policy premium substantially, because she had been robbed a few years ago and filed a claim. (It wasn't me, I don't do robberies.)



I had heard the idea from a friend that told me how embarrassed and horrified he was, when on day one of a house sitting job, he burned down the owner's kitchen while they were overseas on an exotic vacation. When he explained to the owners what happened, instead of being mad, they were delighted because they had been kicking around ideas for renovating the kitchen anyhow. This simply forced them to get on with the project right away.



Early this evening, I was cooking dinner for four people in their kitchen. The homeowner was still at work. She loves coming home to relax, while I prepare and serve dinner, plus, I do all the cleaning up afterwards.



I had tossed a handful of pecans into an iron fry pan, to lightly toast them, on her electric stove. Because the nuts have oils, I had not used any cooking oil in the well seasoned iron fry pan. Once toasted, I wanted them to have time to cool, before adding them to a salad. Meanwhile, I was assembling my other ingredients and herbs on the counter.



Her electric stove has a red light to indicate when it's on or when it's hot. So even if you turn the stove off, the red light is on, until the stove cools off. I am used to propane cooking, so it's been a tad hard for me to convert to electric stoves. A nanosecond glance at a propane stove top, and you instantly know if it is on or off. Not true with electric stoves. You must read those tiny dials.



My cell phone rang. I was expecting a call I needed to take. I turned the stove off, walked outside, then around the house to the side garden to take my phone call in private, leaving one adult in the dining room and another on the back deck.



About 15-20 minutes later, I went back to their house to resume cooking. Imagine my horror, when I was greeted at the front door with the acrid odor of burnt nuts.



The owner was now home, sitting in her easy chair, sipping a cocktail, as she hurriedly explained how she parked in the garage, opened up the kitchen door and it was full of smoke! She was hollering "The kitchen is on fire!" but apparently, no one heard her.



One person was babbling on the phone in the dining room about 6 feet away with her back to the kitchen. Incredibly, she claimed not to smell the stench, nor see the smoke wafting around the dining room. Worst of all, she didn't hear the panicked owner screaming "The kitchen is on fire!"  (Rumor is, that person was into the liquor cabinet since breakfast. )



I didn't hear anything, because I was at the far end of the yard,in the side garden, on the opposite side of the house, which had no doors or windows open, so I didn't smell anything either. The person on the deck sometimes oscillates between realities, not always cognizant of immediate current events. They chose to say nothing at all about the whole scenario, but appeared extremely grateful, albeit surprised, when dinner later showed up at the table.



The owner, upon seeing her kitchen drenched in stinky smoke, ran to the sink, turned on the water, then ran for the stove, saw the nuts burning up, tossed the iron pan in the sink, smothering it with water. Then she dashed around opening up windows, setting up fans and trying to clear out the smoke. Someone made her a cocktail, then I arrived, having finished my phone call.



I entered the closed front door, standing there, smelling the stench, feeling like an idiot, and apologized profusely. I felt sorrier than a two dollar watch. I sure thought I had turned the electric stove off, but I must have turned the knob the wrong way or just dreamed I turned it off. I have no idea. I felt about 2 inches tall.



Since the owner appeared in a good mood, despite the fiasco, I continued with "Honestly, I don't know WHY you put the fire out, I thought you told me you needed money to renovate the kitchen! If you keep putting out my fires, we'll never get insurance to pay for your new cabinets."



She got a good laugh out of this (or else the cocktail was awfully good.)



I tried to collect myself, enter the kitchen and resume cooking with about as much confidence as a 20 foot snake crossing an 8 foot road during rush hour.



Searching her cabinets, I found some vinegar, poured that in a large bowl, setting it in the middle of the kitchen. The vinegar eats the burnt odors.



Rattled from my gaffe, I often use plain old water to calm myself down again. So I opened up the cabinet, to get a glass, to fill with water to drink while soothing myself back to the task at hand. Out of nowhere, popped a tiny shot glass, which shattered quite loudly on the counter and floor in a zillion pieces.



I poked my head around the corner, to where the owner was still reclining with her cocktail, only now she was rolling her eyes heavenward. I cheerfully announced, "I'm trying a new method of cooking, just ignore that little bit of noise."



I swept up the mess, washed the counter, threw the wash rag in the dirty bin. I drank the water, trying to get myself centered again to resume cooking.



Eventually dinner was served, by a nut, with a nutless salad, only 3 minutes late, without anymore disasters.


Why no, I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every moment of it...

Mango Chicken Pineapple Salad (minus the nuts)

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WHO is Dear Miss Mermaid?

I may add this to the heading of my blog...  What do you think?

As an adult, Dear Miss Mermaid has spent about 10 years in the USA,  10 or so years working and living at sea, and 10 years roughly on tiny Caribbean islands. Famous for her numerous years of entertaining weather blogs from the Virgin Islands, she  has also published two books. Summer of 2010 her life came crashing to a halt, when she woke up in intensive care in a far flung hospital on a tiny island.  Lately, she can be found in an old motorhome, somewhere in the warmer parts of North America. Wander with this child of the planet, while she rehabilitates body and soul. 

My favorite place to camp, is with nature, off the pavement, off the beaten path.  Mother Nature inspires me to live, to work, to toil another day. Most of my blog pictures, in your email subscription or this blog, will click to enlarge, if you want to see the finer points.

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Odd Pictures

 I write out of sequence, about today, or last week, last month, last year or a lifetime ago. It's the way my brain works. I am just all over the place. Today I am sharing amusing pictures. All photographs by Dear Miss Mermaid. I had a heck of a time with the formatting. I hope it neatens up, but I am frustrated. Live and learn, or just live.



Looks like a fancy tent with closets or leg room attached.

Tents have come a longs ways from the basic inverted V.

Check out those tent pegs. Aren't they great?

Not only useful to prevent tripping but whimsically funny on the dark side.

They glowed at night too.

 

Can you tell we had fun at the beach?  This is our entryway in the motorhome, two hours after our arrival at the beach campground. While I carefully wiped my feet on the outdoor rug, puppy wiped his all over the indoor rug.  Those are his outdoor toys he carefully brought inside one by one, because it began raining outside. If any of you wonder why I ripped out the wall to wall carpet in favor of vinyl tiles and easy-to-clean throw rugs, it's all in the name of having fun. 

Packing for a trip?  Don't leave home without a thing. Take it all with you including the garden out back. This motorhome combo sat in the campground for a few days. I never saw them use any of this stuff. Maybe they are moving somewhere for the winter, where they will use it all there.
I still am happy with LESS IS BEST! 

My doggy fell over on his nose!  Actually he is checking out his first sniff of Spanish Moss. Even though we were obviously in the south, he was cold that morning.  I never thought I would own a dog I would have to dress in the morning.  I've always had big robust dogs that wore a collar and nothing else. My 6 pound pooch gets cold at temperatures below 70F degrees. I am trying to fatten him up, but he has a high energy level, playing and working hard each day.

When it rains my enthusiastic puppy looks super sad. Earlier we had been playing at the beach.  That afternoon it poured down rain.  I took this picture with a flash, so it appears nighttime, even though it was a semi-bright afternoon. Wolfman Harley usually seems like the perpetual cheerful puppy. Indeed, many strangers, upon meeting him, often remark what a happy dog he is. But when it rains, he sits on my bed, looking mournfully out the windows.  I called his name to snap the picture, and he turned around with his sad little face.  I tried to cheer him up with his froggy, but he didn't want to play, just wanted to watch the rain and look oh so sad.

This well kept fifth wheel belies its true age and who cares? 
The creative paint job looks great, especially against this tropical background in South Carolina.





Ahoy!

Dear Miss Mermaid

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