Sunday, September 04, 2011

Spiders Oh My!

Rambling along. My brain that is. I think I've lost my mind.  But please don't worry. 

It won't get far in the shape it's in. 

I might have been bitten by a spider. I might have a picture of it to ID it, if I could find the camera cord. It's not in my cord basket. What's the use of being organized if you can't find IT?

"IT" being whatever I am searching for. I have little white hand written labels on all my cords. This is so my brain won't get confused. I keep cords in a basket, so when I need a cord, I can paw through the basket and read the assorted white labels. No camera cord. Yet I used it the other day. I thought for sure I put it back in the basket.

I have turned my wheel estate inside out, looking for the camera cord. So far, no cord. I have checked cords of all sizes, read all their little labels. They are now in a big messy pile on the side table. Still no camera cord. 

For the last 2 days, I have been terribly ill. Well, day and a half, or two days, heck I forget which. I noticed a sore on my collar bone. I have no idea what it is, what caused it or why it hurts. It wasn't until later I put 2 and 2 together and got ideas. 

This morning I found a great big plastic spider and spider web in my kitchen. I thought my friend, I visited yesterday or day before,  had put it there as a pre-Halloween joke.  I wondered why I hadn't noticed it sooner. I wondered when they put this up, since I am now 60 miles from their house. 

When I went food shopping last, the store was FULL of Halloween stuff. My friend usually decorates heavily for Halloween. The store was 5 aisles deep with Halloween accouterments.  In August!  I thought I had been through a time warp. I was so confused. Later I found out that it really was still August.  This was a few weeks ago, when it was mid August. 

I asked the cashier if she was paid overtime to get their Halloween stuff stocked in the nick of time in mid-August. She said "The manager said we had to push the Halloween stuff out, because Christmas comes in 6 weeks!"  

Did someone change the calendar around and I am the last to know?

I found the camera and took a picture of the big fat fake spider and web.  Then I reached up to tear down the joke decor, but the spider was ALIVE!  It was not a big plastic spider, it was real. Boy was I ever surprised!

My screaming scared me and scared the dog. 

I used to not be squeamish about spiders, but years ago, I was bitten by a brown recluse spider and horrible things happened, a story for another day. Since then, I am not very fond of spiders anymore. 

I used tongs to  chase the spider around the motorhome, then when I finally caught him with the tongs, I held him in the tongs under running hot water but he wouldn't die. So I flung him out the door. Then I slammed the door and locked it. 


Then I went to the bathroom because I was scared poopless or something like that. Inside my motorhome bathroom is a brass coat hook on the wall that holds a sun catcher from a friend in Canada, plus lots of stuff I have attached to it like feathers, a tiny mermaid, an ankle bracelet, and so on,   plus the broom in on the coat hook along with  a wooden Chinese back scratcher and an old fashioned ugly fly swatter. 

It's one very busy hook!  Actually, it's two hooks, like a coat hook. I jokingly call my bathroom the broom closet, but it's actually smaller than a broom closet. 

I decided to reach across the closed commode to crank open the bathroom window. It was hot in there and for some silly reason, my bathroom is not air conditioned.  Somehow my long hair tangled with the back scratcher which came off the hook and  touched me, making me scream again, thinking another big spider was on the loose and well.... lots of screaming while the back scratcher and I did major battle, the broom fell down, the fly swatter went flying. 

When all was said and done, I never found a spider, just a back scratcher tangled up in my hair. I had brushed my long hair earlier, it had a mind of it's own today, so it was seemingly floating around my head. Does that make sense?  

Probably not. I don't recall it ever tangling with the back scratcher before. Maybe it was just the way I leaned over to open the window. 

All that screaming and panic. 

Poor doggy.

Poor me!  

I fell asleep for hours.  I woke up, walked the dog, ate some cheese, saltine crackers and potato salad. I am exhausted and everything aches. 

I ate some emergency chocolate. This might qualify as an emergency, so I better eat some emergency chocolate. 

Just in case. 

I put Witch Hazel on the collar bone sore. It hurts. Is it a spider bite?  Should I worry?  I looked at spider ID's on the web. They all look big black and frightening. I tried to make the camera show me the picture, but I can't seem to figure that out. Today I just feel like a big idiot. 

I'm going back to bed. I feel lousy. 

OK, I fought with the camera one more time and looked at a tiny fuzzy picture of a black spider. I have no idea. 

Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that is a bad day. We have picked up some spiders from one of our last few stops. So far it is me 11 and spiders 0, I hope it stays that way.

    I do not think you are alone in not finding stuff in the rig. I think mine is haunted. I cannot find not one but two hand electric screwdivers I know are in the rig. I have looked everywhere.

    A number of other things have vanished as well.

    Hope you feel better real soon:)


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