Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Children think differently than adults.
Isn't that marvelous?
Enjoy these words of wisdom from the pint sized crowd.
A lady was driving with her three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of them stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As the mother was reeling from the shock, she heard her 5-year-old shout from the back seat "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer it.
"Mommy can't come to the phone right now because she's hitting the bottle."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and wandered into the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and clothes for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement then asked "What"s the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, the policeman was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.
Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked "Are you the police?"
"Yes" he answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that"s right" he told her.
"Well then" she said as she extended her foot toward the policeman "Would you tie my shoe please?"
It was the end of the day when the officer parked his police van in front of the station.
As he gathered his equipment, his K-9 partner, Jake, was barking from the back of the van. The cop saw a nearby little boy staring.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked pointing at the van.
"It sure is," he replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at the cop and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said "What did he do?"
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, a young mother often took her 4-year-old daughter on her afternoon rounds. The child was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day her mother noticed her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As the mother braced herself for the inevitable barrage of questions, the young child merely whispered "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"Because it always gives you a terrible headache in the morning."
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, the minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Father, unto the Son, and into the hole he goes."
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"It just no fun at all" she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
A little boy opened the big family Bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old oak leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "I think it's Adam"s underwear!"