Strip Down

Sometimes I get distracted and confused. This morning was a bit rougher than most.

Suddenly I had to attend a funeral many miles away. Very early this morning, the taxi cab deposited me at the airport.  I still had to buy my ticket.  I stood in line finally making it to the ticket agent. I found  out there was only one ticket left on my flight which was departing shortly.

I would just make the funeral in the nick of time.

When I was ready to pay for my ticket, the young man handling my transaction startled me by saying "Strip down, facing me".

It's been a few years since I've flown anywhere. I've heard grumblings that Homeland Security is out of control but this was totally unexpected.

Good grief. At my age, things tend to sag, bag and wrinkle.

I mean there was no privacy, people were in line behind me and milling about everywhere.

Knowing I might miss my flight completely if I didn't quickly comply, I removed my shoes, black dress and undies as rapidly as I could, standing there naked awaiting inspection.

People began shrieking, laughing, pointing and taking pictures.

Suddenly security surrounded me. I was carted off and grilled intensely in a small office by an army of people who could barely contain their giggles and smirks.

I was going to miss my flight after all.

Matter of fact, I am now on the no-fly list.

Looks like I'm going to miss the funeral entirely.

I've even been banned from the airport with suggestions I should take the bus or train in the future. 

Turns out the ticket agent was talking about my credit card when he said "Strip down, facing me".