Thursday, August 20, 2009

There Is a Way

Frances from Chicago says:
There Is a Way
There is a way to overcome
The obstacles we face in life...
To many, they seem quite burdensome
And they're ready to give up the strife.
Oh friend, keep struggling as you trudge along
Upon life's rugged road;
There's someone waiting to right the wrong
By lifting your heavy load.
There is a way to smile again
If you'll look up in the sky;
You'll find the sunshine after the rain
When the clouds have drifted by.
Though many tears have filled your eyes,
They've made the way quite clear
To find a rainbow in the skies
And take away your fear.
Yes, there's a way if you'll look for it;
You'll find many blessings if you do not quit
And they will multiply.
Just trust in God from day to day
And don't give in to despair.
Hold on to His hand, let Him lead the way,
Keep a song in your heart and a prayer.
by Lou Ella Cullipher
And another verticle day has passed!!
Horizontal is only good when one is engaged in flatbacking.
Check out the prospects while you are there.
Sincerely,
Frances

BELIEVE

Well DearMissMermaid, another day and you are still verticle. This is Frances from Chicago.
Hope that this poem can uplift you.
Believe
Let the sun be your freedom,
The wind be your song,
The promise of morning
When the nights are long...
And when you find a rainbow
After a rain storm's end,
Believe with all your heart
Miracle do happen.
by Joy Frederick
Take care for another day.
Frances

BRING ON THE RAINBOWS!

Frances from Chicago.
I noticed that you are still in an upright position, instead of the dreaded prone!
Are you sure that hospital doesn't need micro managing?
LITTLE DEEDS
Little deeds of kindness,
Little acts of love,
Show that we're acquainted
With the Lord above.
Little deeds of kindness
Cheer us on our way.
And help ourselves and others
Have a happy day.
Acts of loving kindness
Prompt a happy smile,
And add a joy to living
And make life worthwhile.
by Vera Beall Parker
Safe Keeping,
Frances
ps: Remember, after storms come rainbows.

BRING ON THE RAINBOWS!

I sleep much of my day away. I try to get up and putter around the house, but everything aches or I get dizzy or I just get plain wore out!

My black kitty is stretched out here in front of the fan looking positively wore out too! I have my laptop computer on a bar stool by the bed instead of in my office. That way I don't have far to fall when I am tired!

I've been downloading movies and shows while I sleep so that IF we had a big bad hurricane and no current or TV, I could fire up the generator and watch movies.

As for micro managing the hospital, different shifts are run different ways and other than the head honchos, everyone seems to be on a rotating schedule. That must be tough on their relatives.

One HUGE improvement the hospital could do is make EVERYONE where a label that tells their JOB TITLE. I was thoroughly confused between those that wore whites, pale blues, dark blues, pinks, purples, greens and so on. Some wore no uniform at all. The doctors wore white coats, mostly, and security wore browns. No one wore hats, I guess those are out of vogue now, except some of the nutrition ladies wore hair nets.

Such as the gardener who was wearing a shirt with skull heads printed all over it, a pair of jeans, flip flops and surgeon's gloves while he raked.

The nutrition and kitchen department needs a MAJOR overhaul. The calories widely as did the quality of the food.

I noticed that some employees arrived empty handed and left carrying large bags of stuff. I thought this suspicious.




I've been out of the hospital for a week now, and I am WEAK!

When I got out, I mentioned earlier how I had all these little plastic grocery bags packed up with my stuff. One for dirty clothes, one for clean clothes, one for toiletries, one for snacks, one for chocolate, one for drugs, my computer in a tattered bluejean backpack (it's only 20 years old with rusty buckles, but somehow the zippers have survived) and my purse plus the gift of the stand fan. All I needed was a shopping cart and I could be the bag lady!

My friend showed up to pick me up and thoroughly embarrassed me further by fetching a big black garbage bag and dumping all my stuff in it! Now I did positively look totally homeless and decrepit. We managed to get the pile of debris out the veranda, where I had to stand with it all, while she went to fetch her car.

I am sure it was quite entertaining for the people on the veranda. The lady that sells patties (meat filled turnovers she stressed were baked and not fried) was there. The day before she had sold me patties when I found my lunch a tad disgusting. My lunch had gone to the wild kitty at the edge of the hospital property. When I wobbled back up to the veranda, my friend in the wheel chair had pointed out the pattie lady for me and I went over and did my shopping with her then realized I had no money in my purse. So I hiked back to my room and found some cash and went back out and paid her.

So, now, a day later, I went over and told her that her patties did MAGIC and brought me the miracle I was hoping for, and I was GOING HOME!

We stopped at the Boat House Restaurant at the Manual Reef Marina in Sea Cows Bay (See Cows Bray!) because my friend there had my house keys. The chef made me one my favorite dishes there, a Salmon pizza made like traditional Lox and Bagels, only served on pizza instead of a bagel. I took it home, because I knew there wasn't much there to eat. It was DELICIOUS though hit took me 4 meals to eat it all, as my tongue was still so sore, I could hardly chew without great pain.

Also, the meds seem to have made my teeth super sensitive. My face is swollen and the Docs say this is normal, but I don't get it! How can a swollen face be normal?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Hurricane Katrina s(2005) pecial from New Orleans is on HBO right now. It's a real tear jerker to watch. No one knows for sure how many died. I think it was in the thousands, though officals report a paltry sum of 1200. I find that VERY hard to believe.


This is the show I am watching, it's a real must-see, a very sobering story.




Wednesday, August 19, 2009

2009 08 18 754amAug 18 08 Smile!

I smile when I feel bad and it makes me feel better again

2009 08 18 Angels and Prayers

Frances from Chicago. So glad that you were still able to walk away in a verticle position from that hospital.
A Little Prayer
When I awoke this morning
I said a litle prayer.
And so I send this message
To let you know I care...
When you are feeling blue
And you think you are alone,
Just remember God is with you
Wherever you may roam...
And He will keep you in His arms
Of comfort and of rest.
His love will be sufficient -
He'll give you what is best.
So, friend, don't be discouraged,
For you are in His care.
Just come into His presence
And God will meet you there.
by Bonnie R. Benedix
Sincerely,
Frances

2009 08 18 Angels

Angels everywhere! I am way behind on my emails, but trying to catch up and give everyone a personal answer.

Much to my dismay, I found an email from August 8th with an offer of a homecooked meal delivered to the hospital!

YUMMY!

Angels everywhere! I am so sorry I was either flying high on drugs or sleeping and just fell so bar behind on my emails that as of today the 19th, I am only caught up to the 8th.

ANGELS everywhere!

THANK YOU!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

2009 08 19 Cat Naps


WOW! I had lunch and then slept two more hours. That was my 2nd or 3rd nap for the day. I've just got to find a way to get my energy back!

My big kitty sleeps with the little kitty!

Drew brought me the donations from SAVE THE MERMAID and also two super cute stuffed kitties approved to live with me at the hospital! But I had just come home so the two new kitties are living with me and the other cats who have taken a liking to them.


2009 08 19 GIVING THANKS

I owe so many thank yous!

Thank yous for the emails and letters.

Thanks yous for the angels.

Thank yous for the prayers.

Thank yous for the gifts.

Thank yous for those supporting my book by buying it.

Thank yous for those encouraging others to buy my book.

Thanks yous for this day the Lord has made and allowed me to wake up alive.

Thank yous for my crazy friends, readers and family and those that are sane and love me anyhow.

Thanks yous for the cash donations from SAVE THE MERMAID. It has eased my stress tremendously.

Thank yous for the wonderful staff at Peebles Hospital who did so much to save my life.

Thank yous for my cats who love me no matter what. They even seem a bit more patient with me and not near as demanding as if they know it's tough on me.

Thank yous for the gifts of foods and meals. Cooking and preparing is so hard right now.

Thank yous for the fan gift that is keeping me cool.

Thanks yous for the water that keeps me alive.

Thank yous for the well wishes.

Thank yous for those who went out of their way to visit me in such a dismal place. The hospital, which is in need of a lot, needs a make over with bright cheery paints in the old section where the patients are housed.

Thanks yous for the Air Conditioning techs at the hospital that finally came through with repairs.

Thank yous that the lack of storms that have spared us thus far.

Thank yous for the movie "Music Within" a true story about one man who made a huge difference for the handicapped.

Thank yous that my antique *giggle* laptop that is still holding up and enabling me to write each and every day. As a hopeless dyslexic, the laptop has opened up the world for me.

This is just a short list of all the things I am grateful for.






2009 08 19 Mermaid Fever!

2009 08 18 Checking out of the hospital

Checking out of the hospital was rather hilarious at times. It took quite a while. My meds had to be fetched and getting them was not easy.

The hospital drug store is on the first floor and no elevator goes there. I was on the 2nd floor. Also the drug store has no cashier. The cashier is on the 2nd floor. So first the prescription has to be trotted outside, down the hill, and inside the first floor drug store. There you wait until your turn to present your prescription.

The druggist checks his inventory and prices, fills out a scrap piece of paper with all the prices. Then you hike outside, up the hill and into the doors to the 2nd floor. You stand in line and when it is your turn, you pay the cashier, and get a receipt. Then it's down the hallway, out the door, down the hill, inside the drug store, wait your turn, present your prescriptions and paid receipt, then wait for the drugs to be filled and handed back to you. Then it's out the door, up the hill, back into the front door and down the hallway to the patent's room.

Needless to say, the Doc's had determined I was too weak to collect my drugs on my own, so someone else was dispatched to do this for me. Of course their work and exercise for collecting my drugs, also included trips back to my hospital room to collect cash to go pay for the drugs and subsequently to bring me the change, receipts and bag full of meds.

WHEW! Buying drugs for a patient at the hospital, is not for the faint at heart. To make it more complicated, I was rejecting some of the overpriced designer drugs, and this was causing problems all around.

I didn't agree with the final diagnosis from the Docs, plus my white blood count was still high, in spite of all that was being done and some of the designer drugs, as I call them, are the type you see pushed on TV commercials and when you go to price them out, you find out they are $10 a pill or something ridiculous.

Meanwhile, I was trying to pack up in those tiny flimsy grocery bags, leftover from visitors who had brought me yogurt, juice, fruit, chocolate, clothes etc. So I had a bag of dirty clothes, a bag of clean clothes, a bag of toiletries, a bag of food. My friends had brought me simple foods to tide me over on days when the meals were not edible. So I had apple juice, crackers, peanut butter, cofort cookies, red and yellow apples, mango jam, fruit cups in a can and pudding cups in plastic. The thrush had become so painful, that I was only able to eat soft foods and no one had notified the kitchen, so my food trays had continued to come with foods too painful to eat (or too disgusting!)

One meal was this super dry very dead salt fish with a zillion bones. I packed it up in a styropfoam tea cup and took it outside to the wild kitty I had seen hunting around the hospital grounds. Breakfast that morning had been frozen fish sticks, baked rock hard and inedible. The well meaning apples my friend had bought were too hard for me to eat and my juice was sustaining me (and sending me to the bathroom rather often.) The fish sticks were also delivered to the wild kitty. One dinner had been overcooked tiny greasy chicken wings with no flavor, but the wild kitty enjoyed them.

There was a spot about 40 feet from the hospital, away from people, where I placed my wild kitty offerings. Once I left the spot and went back to the veranda, I could wait and watch, and if I had plenty of time, the wild kitty would show up in 10-40 minutes, and fight his way through the proffered food and eventually get it all down. Then he would saunter off, looking a bit less bedraggled.

My last day at the hospital, when I had announced tearfully, I wanted to go home and promises were made I could go in a few days, perhaps, and I had become insistent. I was disgusted because my yogurt had been ruined when it had been left out on the counter in the heat by staff, then subsequently thrown in the freezer after it had separated into whey and yogurt. When it thawed later that morning, after I had begged for it, the mess looked disgustingly inedible.

There was a certain staff member who kept scolding me not to eat ice cream and I would say "This is yogurt!" and she would insist ice cream and yogurt were the SAME thing. No matter how much I tried to explain they were vastly different, she shook her head and insisted they were the same. I suspect, but have absolutely NO PROOF that is was her, that let my yogurt melt and separate in the heat before being tossed in the freezer.

Some shifts let me access the refrigerator on my own and other shifts refused. The rules changed, every shift on this and many other areas such as the cold water fountain. Some shifts I was allowed to fill up my water bottle from the jumbo cooled water bottle on my ward and other times I was scolded and sent away empty handed or with a small triangular disposable cup of water that was good for about two swallows. When I had the energy, I could hike over to the new part of the hospital and fill up my water bottle at the secret water fountain which was unguarded. Shhhhhhhhhhh!

Back to packing to leave, there was the bag of chocolate from the sailor who had offered to sacrifice a boat, a float a goat or whatever it took to make the jumbys leave me alone and the Gods happy to improve my health. I had suggested Chocolate be sacrificed to appease the jumbys. I had assumed the sailor would consume copious amounts of chocolate as a "sacrifice". Imagine my surprise, when he flew in to go sailing and packed a bag of chocolate to bring to me to sacrifice!

OOOOPS! The patient is exhausted and will have to finish this story later...

Monday, August 17, 2009

2009 08 17 Side Effects of Major Effects?

SIDE EFFEICTS...

EYES ARE BLURRY

FOOD CRAVINGS

SLEEPING OVERTIME

phantom pain form vampires and IV's

swollen wrist from staph infection from IV's

tongue has Thrush (yuck, it HURTS to eat!)

teeth are super sensitive, have to use Sensodyne to barely make it through the day!

dizziness

Well, let's hope this all improves, it can't get much worse!



Belly Rub!


Kitty has passed right out after his belly rub!

FUN STUFF

http://www.artistsindevon.com/water/water_1.htm

FUN stuff! Move your curser over the painting and watch what happens, move it around really fast and WOW!

2009 08 17 932am Monday

Woke up alive, still very weak like a motherless kitten. The least bit of energy expenditure just wears me out and sends me back to bed.

The two brother cats take turns keeping me company in bed, the third one is almost always in bed, on the blankie kneading it or in the corner snoozing or talking up a storm to me.

Tropical Ana Banana is a big mess here with gust winds and rains, thick overcast skies.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

2009 08 16 VERY SAD NEWS

Maggie, the bartender at Mulligans (Nanny Cay) passed away this morning after a gallant fight for her life. While I was not at the hospital, where she was rushed to recently, I understand they did all they could possibly to save her life and many loved ones rushed to the hospital and made blood donations to assist her.

What a sad day.

Prayers for Maggie and all her loved ones.

2009 08 16 424 am SUNDAY woke up alive

Lots of cool cards have been sent my way, THANK YOU! This one features a kitty *tee he hee*/


Now we have tropical storm TWINS (Ana and Bill) arriving this week, a few days apart (twins sometimes do that!)

The hospital has messed up my time clock, now I seem to wake up at the times the nurses were waking me up! Grrrrrrr...

I still sleep like a cat, taking 17 naps a day!


Saturday, August 15, 2009

2009 08 15 Tropical Storm ANA


Well the 3 day forecast shows Ana coming by the BVI on Monday. YIKES!

And, I have absolutely NOTHING stocked up for the hurricane party! DOUBLE YIKES!
I better start making my list:
Rum
Cat Food
Rum
Batteries
Rum
Candles
Rum
Canned Soup
Rum
Bottled Water
Rum
Cat Litter
Rum
Canned Tuna
Rum
Generator Gas
Rum
Well, that ought to about cover it!
TS Ana is moving at about 16pmh with 40mph winds.
This is real bad planning all around, I am still very tired and weak from the hospital. At least no one is assaulting my left arm anymore. My right arm is in pretty good shape, though I had a few battles to keep that arm safe!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, August 14, 2009

2009 08 14 1142am Sleep, Sleep, Sleep...

Yesterday, I was awake and excited to have company from 930 until 4pm. Then I went back to bed and now I can't seem to get OUT of bed. I did get up for an hour today, and it was so exhausting, I went back to bed.

Good grief.

I've got to get some energy going to make it out of here alive!

OK, back to bed, I am tired again.

*sigh*

2009 08 14 707am Woke up ALive

I am not sure I made the right decision to come home early. When I am alone, I get very scared. Kinda odd, I used to be rough and tough!

Drew brought me green teas and two really cute stuffed kitties, in case I was still in the hospital, I would have company! They are cute as can be! When I go back to the hospital to visit my friends I left behind, I will take them for show and tell.

My real cats are taking turns being with me. Yesterday they were naughty and tried to steal my breakfast while I was in the bathroom. As a result , my plate smashed into a million pieces and my breakfast was inedible due to the multiple shards buried in it. Two naughty cats scampered out the door and hid from me for the next 4 hours. I don't know WHAT came over them! They know MY FOOD is off limits. tsk tsk tsk

The third cat, who is doing poorly, hung around me all day, as he had nothing to do with the breakfast caper. Hours later, the other two came sauntering back inside and up on my bed, as if to be begging for forgiveness.

Throughout the night, they seemed to take turns cuddling up with me.

It feels good to be alive, even if I am scared.


Thursday, August 13, 2009

2009 08 13 440pm Thursday

In loving memory of my mother who was born on August 13th and in loving memory of my young nephew who died August 13th. You are missed, loved and never ever forgotten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went HOME!!!

The docs wanted to keep me longer, but I really missed my cats.

I know that is a SILLY reason to go home...

Also, we had reached the point where new drugs were being added to counteract the side effects of the old drugs. I felt like I was on a Merry Go Round.

There was another major problem, that was stressing me out, I will explain later, it had nothing to do with the care I was getting.

I do think I received really good care from the Docs. I am not 100% confident of their final diagnosis. I think there was a rush to "sum me up".

I was sent home with 14 different medications, rather SCARY.

On the way home we stopped at a store and lo and behold yogurt was HALF PRICE so I bought 18 yogurts.

Lawdy Mercy, I shudda listened to them and STAYED in the hospital, as it had air conditioning *tee hee hee*.

Drew came over today (from St John where he is vacationing, but he is from Minnesota) with the SAVE THE MERMAID funds and we had lunch together and a fun time visiting. My tongue is still so bad, that it took me an hour to eat only half my lunch, so I brought the other half home.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your contributions to SAVE THE MERMAID! Bless you all!

On the way back home, we stopped by the store (it's near my home) and bought 22 more half price yogurts. Yogurt is easy to eat and easy on my tongue and of course has the probiotics. Which Drew brought over probiotic pills too!

Well, it's back to bed for me. I am exhausted.




Wednesday, August 12, 2009

2009 08 12 705am WHiney Witch

I guess I am just a whiney witch!

My tongue is so destoryed from the antibiotics they gave me, that I can hardly eat anything and my stomach complains constantly. I need SOFT foods for now, but no one cares.

My friends brought in YOGURT for me. I put my name on it and it's kept in the refrigerator down the hall. I have to ask permission like a little child to have my yogurt. I NEED yogurt to stomach these awful drugs.

For two days they REFUSED to let me have my yogurt and I should have fought them on this. It would have saved my tongue! One staff person can't tell the difference between yogurt and ice cream and she constantly yells at me about eaitng ice cream and I explain IT IS YOGURT and she says SAME THING!

Well ice cream and yogurt are NOT the same thing!

But I guess she got REVENGE on me now. SOMEBODY froze up yogurt rock solid hard and ruined it.

Today, I went to get my yogurt and surprisingly they told me to go fetch it myself. Some staff let me touch the fridge others refuse, so it's a GAME we play. I went in and searched the fridge and my yogurt was gone.

I went back to ask about it, after all it had my NAME on it. A staff member suggested that someone cleaned the fridge and tossed it out. I said WELL, I wish they had ASKED me, since it had my NAME On it!

It was a BIG container of PLAIN yogurt. That stuff is not cheap here! It costs like $6 to $10 depending on which store you get it at! Grrrrr...

I jokingly said (thinking of the fool who yells at me for eating ice cream when I am eating yogurt) MAYBE somebody put it in the freezer...

THe staff opened up the freezer and there was my yogurt, frozen hard as a rock. What's even worse, it looks like it sat outside the fridge for a long time, as the whey had separated. SO it's two toned frozen hard as a rock.

Now I have nothing to eat.

I think I am going to pack up, call a taxi and go home.

I am sick and tired of the torture here.

2009 08 12 631am Woke up Alive Again



I check on this old trawler every day as if it were my own boat. It's part of my view from the hospital. Seen, are the carnival flags, that I wish they would leave up until they fall apart. They are all over the island and give it a festival feel.

Typically they pay a fortune to bring them all down and throw into the garbage, kind of sad. They should leave them up until at least Christmas.

As for me, I have tons of homework to do to decipher the doctor's hand writing and look up this mountain of drugs they propose to keep a mermaid alive.

I don't have health insurance, I was canceled years ago for making claims and for some bureaucratic term called "pre-existing condition". I've never been real fond of insurance companies, I seem to have always been on the losing end. Pay your premiums and if you dare to file a claim, they harass you then cancel you. Grrrrrr...

So, I have to think this through real carefully.

I just CAN NOT imagine going home today and being on 12 drugs to barely stay alive. That ain't living in my book.

Oh and I was told that I must get rid of my cats! WHAT THE HECK??? The docs are crazy if they think I am getting rid of my wittle fur balls.

Let's get rid of my crazy neighbor! The one who pours concrete one day then jack hammers it the next so that my bedroom is constantly flooded with teeny tiny concrete particles!

My white blood cells are still out of whack and they are sending me home with a diagnosis I think is partly wrong and giving me pat advise like "get rid of your pets, get rid of carpet, get rid of curtains". Well, I don't have carpet nor curtains. I have bamboo shades.

I do want to get rid of the landlords' cardboard moldy chest of drawers. Their rental agent bought this piece of junk and put it in the apartment. It keeps growing mold! YUCK!

But twelve drugs?

I don't see how I am going to deal with that.

Seems half my problems and drugs now, are medically induced! The staph infection from the IV and the angry nurse...

The pathetic tongue with the awfully painful thrush caused by over enthusiastic use of meds without yogurt...

Now I am just hungry often, as I can't eat much, it is SO painful. So I sit here with these awful bellyahces, wishing I had soup or soft food, something that didn't hurt so bad to eat.

The chemically induced diabetes, my nice low cholresterol that has soared since living on this erratic hospital diet...

I know they SAVED MY LIFE, but for what? To kill me all over again?

2009 08 12 Sad Wittle Bunny

2009 08 12 327am Day 22, Mermaid held in Captivity

Has it been 22 days in a hospital? Holy cow! How did THAT happen?

Yesterday, I was put on guard and rather shocked when I was told, I would be going home in less than 100% condition and that I would be on 12 different medications for much of the rest of my life but perhaps they would or could be shortened to 6-8 medications at some point.

I was speechless and deeply concerned. In the past 20 odd years, I have been on ONE medication, save for the pain pills when I busted my legs.

How could this be? 12 dangerous chemicals as my reality?

They made it sound like my life was about over and I just can't seem to accept that as my reality. When did my green stamps run out? Who emptied out my parking meter?

So, I think I will follow these good Docs advice and get the hell out of here as fast as possible, complete with whatever drugs they suggest...

Then I will seek alternative solutions and second opinions and so on.

I am just concerened that I am so tired and wore out, and somehow I've got to come up with a TON of energy and in short order too!

But 12 meds to lead a less than satifactory life? Not sure anyone could or would call that LIVING...


So................

Plan B...........

I'm working on Plan B!


2009 08 12 1218am Day 22 in Hospital

Well, I am going home in 2 days or 2 weeks.

Depends on who ya believe around here.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

2009 08 11 634pm Chocolate from Baltimore!

Yippee! A surprise visitor today from Baltimore who came with CHOCOLATE!

Actually he gave me a 20 minute notice, which was nice, as I leaped out of bed, put on a fresh dress, combed out my hair, put on lipstick and did my BEST to imitate a LIVING PERSON!

About that time the nurses showed up poking, prodding, drawing blood, shooting me full of meds, handing out cups of pills and trying to strap on a face mask of nebs and I said "Wait! I have COMPANY coming!"

The longer I stay here, the less company I have and that is to be expected. People have better things to do and many are scared of the hospital and we can't fault them there either.

Now, I just KNOW I am going to get well in a jiffy! I just had a square of Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate and oh boy was that ever DELICIOUS. I feel BETTER already!

It couldn't have happened at a better time.

I've been VERY depressed and not posted much at all today. The Docs delivered some devastating news, and well, I just felt like crying most of the day, although I kept getting interrupted by pesky staff.

I finally cried myself to sleep this afternoon, and next thing I know two other patients are waking me up! They come in whispering something I can't understand, so I get up and shut the door, and they reveal they have smuggled a pizza into the hospital to cheer us all up! We sat and munched away, feeling VERY naughty.

And it tasted WONDERFUL.

Then hours later, the CHOCOLATE!

ANGELS, there are angels looking out for me! ANGELS everywhere!

Yesterday the Lady Minster came to talk and pray. She is a stalwart of strength. Another Angel!


2009 08 11 516pm STILL ALIVE! YIPPEE!

Got fresh sheets today, finally. I've decided I don't like the site of blood either.

2009 08 11 623am Don't Let Grumpy Sleep

Since 4 am they have been poking and prodding me and waking me up. Heaven forbid I should try to sleep past 4am. It just depends on the night staff. Some are bound and determined that you NOT sleep on THEIR shift.

At some point I was in the bathroom when they came looking for me to stab my fingers and arm. I said "Excuse me I am in the bathroom!" The nurse OPENED my bathroom door and I slammed it back shut. Come on folks! You can wait a minute and let me pee in private. GOOD GRIEF!

I promise not to drop dead on the toilet if you will leave me in peace!

I came out and asked for clean sheets, mine looks awful and there is blood on them from all the stab wounds and the staff tells me they are out of sheets.

WHAT? How can this hospital ALWAYS be out of sheets when I ask for them?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I am GRUMPY.

I am tired.

I am working up my energy to go ask for my yogurt and pray there aren't any excuses today...

It's so unfair they wake you up every 20 minutes starting at 4am and then refuse to feed you until 8am.

Last night I couldn't finish my dinner because my tongue hurts so badly, so I wrapped up the leftovers and kept it by my bed. Later in the night, I was hungry and decided to fight with my food and try to get some more down.

Immediately some nurse comes running "I SMELL FOOD!" and she burts into my room like I've been caught in a den of thieves.

I just stared at her and said "I am trying to eat my dinner!"

Good grief. I am grumpy.

2009 08 11 1235m Tuesday August 11

I woke up and all is unwell. I am too tried to fight back.

Just did the midnight meds and nebs.

YAWN!

``````````````````````````````
SUNSET.....

Glad I could make somebody SO HAPPY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the patients discovered I had email and turned up at my bed. He wanted to email friends back at another hospital he used to be in. So I fired t'ings up and typed out his dictated message. I was about to send off the message when he said, "I wish I could send them a picture of me but I don't have any pictures and besides, I don't know how you do that, but I've heard people somehow send pictures of themselves over the Internet."

He looked off far away, dreaming about this new fangled technology.

He had just offered me $20 to send off email for him! I said "Good heavens NO, I cannot charge you for email!"

I whipped out my camera, said "SMILE!" and snapped his picture a few times, them uploaded it to the laptop computer. He sat there is awe! He couldn't believe I had just taken his picture, cropped it neatly then pasted it inside his email message.

I sent it off and he was so excited that he made several phone calls to people to let them know he had sent off his first email!

It felt GREAT to give someone else some HOPE!

Monday, August 10, 2009

2009 08 10 FUNNY EMAIL POEM

Dear Miss Mermaid, please get well!
Triton commands it you see.
His favoritist follower sorely is missed.
He’s getting impatient and roiling the sea.
In fact Mr. Trident is really quite pissed!
So do tell the doctors to figure it out.
We all want to sail and sun on the beach
And your readers are beginning to pout!
It’s not all about us, so we need to find aid
For our musing, amusing, mermaid!

2009 08 10 1104am Chit, I feel Awful


I am TIRED of this place. I wanna go home.

Seven doctors are on my case today. It's both good and bad.

We disagree over a few things and they disagreed amongst themselves.

It was kind of funny all around.

The drugz explain the moon face, barrel chest, YUCK yuck yuck. No wonder I don't look like myself anymore.

Depressing as hell.

I am fighting the tears left and right.

The only good news is my room is cool. The rest of the floor is hot as hell. I don't have near as much energy to exercise and they told me to STOP wearing myself out and spend more time resting and healing.

Oh boo hoo.

I just want to crawl under a rock and cry.

At least I got to stick my tongue out at them all!

I've had so much FUN sticking my tongue out at EVERY BODY!

They are going to give me some stuff to cure it, thank Gawd! In the meantime, I keep sticking it out at anyone that will LOOK!

HA HA HA, tee hee he, hiccup! Cough Cough Cough!

I miss my kitties, boo hoo hoo.




2009 08 10 918am What the Thuck Did I Do?

My thung still thurts. Breafast was pure thorture to theat. A weenie that was tho hard to chew and it hurt my thung. The bread was wheat but it was stale and THAT thurt too. Finally I thoaked the bread in the bwoiling thot milk.

THe nurse asked me why I was cwying and I said my thung thurt! Then I stuck my thung out at ther and she walked off in disgust!

The next nursthe walked by a thalf hour later and thasked me why I wasn't theating my bweakfast.

So I told her my thung thurt and stuck it out at ther and she walked off in discuss!

They wrote it on my tharts! "Patient is aggitated and incoherent, sticks tongue out at staff when asked a simple question!"

THUCK IT!!!

This thucks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

However, the cweaning lady dwagged a maintenance man into my bathroom and guess what!

They are installing a thoilet theat! YIPPEE!!!!

The thoilet theat has been broken for months. When I moved in here, it was broken and I didn't dare compwain, I was so thappy to have a bed and a thoilet, even if it had no theat.

Now I be STYLING mon, I got me a thoilet AND a THEAT and thoilet paper TOO! YIPPEE!!!


2009 08 10 608am Soaking your WHAT???

If I put the vanilla yogurt all over my tongue and hold it there as long as possible, my tongue stops hurting.

Briefly.

I have mouth thrush. YUCK!

The yogurt either prevents it or cures it, I forget which.

I am grumpy as all get out.

That's my name today.

Grumpy.

Usually I am Dopey or Wheezy.

The nurse was having trouble getting the blood pressure machine to work on me this morning. My blood pressure is surprisingly normal all the time. But just the same, they check it 8 times a day to make sure I am alive.

After fiddling around with me in the hallway, trying to get my blood pressure reading (I was sneaking around trying to grab my yogurt from the fridge) the nurse let out a long big sigh and you could tell she just wanted to bash in the blood pressure machine (or bash me..)

She hooked me all up again and still no reading. So I said "OK, that DOES it. I am just DEAD this morning and I am so tired, I am going back to bed!"

I unhooked the blood pressure cuff and shuffled back to the comfort of my bed, where I sit now, soaking my tongue in yogurt.

2009 08 10 333am Third time Thucky Charm...

The naked man shuffles down the hallway and I hear the swoosh of the double doors as he escapes.

Should I go get him?

Should I tell somebody?

Or should I just wait to see what happens next around here?

I am super tired, and the thought of getting up seems daunting.

Well, a few minutes go by and I hear the swoosh of the double doors and the slow shuffle of the naked man coming back down the hallway.

Next to him is a nurse, gently leading him by his elbow.

Poor guy.

He almost made it out of here.




2009 08 10 253am Thuck! Thuck! Thuck! This Thurts!

My thung is twollen thup and the pain theeps twaking me thup. On thop of it thall, I theep coughing thoo thuch.

Thunday was qwuiet for me, no thisitors. I survived the fwood as Thunday they feed thus nice meal, but thoomorrow is spose to be thack to the gweasy stuff.

Thuck! I am thired of this chit fwood!

My fwiends fwom Minnethota who set up (Thave the Mermaid) are in Shaint John and coming thover later this tweek. I thope I can thalk by then.

Thuck! My thung thurts!!!

Thuck, thuck, thuck! This pwain thive me thotty mouth!

Thang, this thucks!

Boo Thoo Thoo!

No wonder I fweel wike cwying, boo thoo thoo!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

2009 08 09 650pm Staying ALIVE!

Living here ain't easy...

When the toilet paper ran out and no one could find any, I found myself creeping around the hallways at 2am, in search of toilet paper SOMEWHERE...

I found some and snuck it back to my room, unnoticed, like a GOOD pirate.

I need SOMETHING to blow my nose on... and wipe my um.... body parts...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Around 3 am, I wake up to the noise of a cleaning person, installing paper towels in my bathroom. I notice later it is 20% full and the paper towel holder by the sink outside my room is about 30% full now. I don't know WHY they just don't fill the holders up 100% full...

I overheard the Docs talking about my charts and one asked the other why she keeps changing my meds. She explains that whatever meds I was on, keep running out and she has to switch me over to whatever is in stock, so I've been on a roller coaster of changing drugs...

INVENTORY management seems to be a major problem around here.

I was issued ONE old towel for bathing. When I turn it in for washing, then I don't have a towel at all, until it comes back from the laundry. So some days I either have to skip my bath or "air dry" or use too many paper towels to try to dry off. The paper towels are these rough folded things they put in locked dispensers, a few at a time.

Someone emailed me hinting around that I must be on the Funny Farm for crazy folks. Well truth be told, they have NO provision here for psych patients other than a locked hospital room where, well, um, they lock up any mentally ill person until they figure out where to ship them next.

As soon as possible, they either ship them back home or ship them off island or send them back on the street. Once in a great while they ship them off island for mental help.

But that is rare.

I have free roaming 24/7 so I hardly qualify as a mentally ill person. On the other hand, I can't get very far, in the condition I am in.

TODAY I was dizzy THREE times, and I did not like that at all.

The security guards apparently keeps tabs on me, as when Docs or Nurses or Therapists are looking for me and I am not in my bed, a security guard approaches me and tells me "THEY are looking for you..."

It's a polite way of being told "Back to bed!"

THEY always tell us patients "went home" even when they die.

Late one night, it was very hot and I couldn't sleep. I went to take a long cool shower and do my hair. When I came back, one of the patients in the hall with me was gone. I could see all her personal things were gone too. I asked about her and they said "Went home!" and then pretended to be VERY busy with paperwork.

Who goes home from the hospital at 2AM???



2009 08 09 341 pm Driving Miss Crazy...

Doctor, Doctor! Those meds make me think I'm a bridge!
Oh? What's come over you?
Um, two cars, a large truck and a jeep.

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
Stretch yourself out and tell me all about it...

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
Please! Sit down sit on the exam table!
Which one?

Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did WHAT happen?

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back to EITHER of those places ever again!

Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not much really - I spill most of it!

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing purple and yellow elephants!
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - just purple and yellow elephants...

Doctor, doctor, my eyesight is getting worse.
It certainly is - this is the Post Office.

Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see; you're not all there !

Doctor, doctor, I'm shrinking so fast that I am now only three feet tall!
Well, you'll just have to be a little patient.

Doctor, doctor, I'm suffering from amnesia.
Take these pills and you'll soon forget all about it...

Doctor, doctor, I'm worried about my insomnia.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm going to die....

Don't be silly - that's the last thing you'll do!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


2009 08 09 1035am WOKE UP ALIVE AGAIN

Doc came around, just one on my case today, since it's Sunday and I am what you would call stabilized. I laugh a lot and try to to cut up with people.

Laughter is the BEST medicine.

I am suffering from side effects that make my tongue feel like it is on FIRE so I was up much of the night trying to deal with that.

Coating it with yogurt seemed to help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my sponsors here advertises "Carving for Indian Food?"

I am CRAVING for Indian Food! I hope they eventually fix their advertisement...

I was also reading about a new vacation spot that is "located in the beautiful county" when they meant beautiful country...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a carzy friend. Well I have LOTS of crazy friends. But I have one who calls me evefry day and promises to visit the next day... This has been going on for 15 days now... tee hee hee.

I said HEY, just chat with me over the phone, you don't have to come by "Oh, no, I am COMING BY TOMORROW..." tee hee hee.

Like Janet Jolplon speculated, what if tomorrow NEVER happens????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breafast came with EGGS today, about 2 tablespoons of cold scrambled eggs! YIPPEE! It also came with stale wheat bread, a slice of tomato and a teeny sliver of romaine lettuce. Then there was a small box of super sugary cereal and boiling evaporated milk in a styrofoam cup. AND A SUPRISE! An orange! FRUIT!!!! YAHOO!!!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

2009 08 08 Working Out


I exercise by climbing these steps some each day.

And... By discretely dressing as a pirate, no one knows I'm really a mermaid...


2009 08 08 A Place to Chill


Hospital Verandas

2009 08 08 909pm New Arrivals

I watch the new arrivals. They seem far better organized than me.

The new patient has his eyeglasses, his shoes and nice luggage sitting in his lap as he is wheeled in.

Unlike me who arrived here barefoot, blind and in a dress that had been nice and clean in the morning but by the time I was put away in the hall late that night, was pretty foul.

But over the next few days, my neighbor assembled various parts of my life and dropped them off to me, so I eventually ended up with a pair of shoes, change of clothes, my laptop and days later, my eyeglasses.

Other friends brought in the much needed Apple Juice and Yogurts plus some funny snacky stuff to get me through the weird meals here *giggle*.

I used to be a smoker, now I have stopped cold turkey. I will never smoke again, the withdrawal is just far too painful! tee heee hee

I am NOT going through THAT again. I always wanted to be a nonsmoker and indeed some of my nonsmoking friends are shocked to find out I smoke... tee hee hee. I hid it from alot of folks and others knew anyhow. But now I don't smoke, and I am pretty darn happy.

Now I just want CHOCOLATE! tee hee hee!!!!






2009 08 08 754pm Dinner was Different

Banjo music is happy music!

Take a tour of Dixie with some Banjo music and enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This afternoon they came around with the dinner announcement of Chicken Soup and did we want it or not. They ask us every afternoon if we want dinner or not, as they are always hoping somebody is bringing our dinner in for us.

I must admit, I was hoping and praying an angel might bring me in some dinner too... tee hee hee

I had sat on the veranda earlier, and watched as hoards of people carrying aromatic foods, showed up and bestowed them on their loved ones.

I've had friends and loved ones drop off food for me too, so I know how it feels.

One of the patients had carefully coached me to BE BRAVE and ask for a sandwich. He had already heard it was chicken soup night and he knew I wasn't fond of their idea of chicken soup...

I thought I was really being set up...

Chicken Soup sounds wonderful, but I've tasted this hospitals' version of it 2-3 times now and it was not at all to my liking. I never finished a bowl, it was so sad.

Some love it, some hate it.

Their version is made with lots of chicken skin, and comes with about an inch of fat on top of the soup plus dumplings and ONE carrot for the entire hospital. No salt, no pepper, no meat, no veggies save for the speck of carrot and maybe a tiny chunk of potato. Last time I fished out the speck of carrot and I admit, I did find a tiny bit of potato but I just couldn't stomach the high fat and the chicken skin floating everywhere and the lack of flavor. I was well, expecting some chicken meat... and spices and stuff.

So today, when I was asked if I was having the soup tonight, I bravely asked if I could have a sandwich instead. The dietitian stared me down and said "You DON'T want the soup?"

I put on my saddest face, hung my head low, and slowly shook my head no.

"What KIND of sandwich?"

Meekly I mumbled "Any kind, Tuna is fine, what ever you want to make is fine with me."

She stared at me, then walked off.

So I was SHOCKED when at dinner time, a cold cheese sandwich was delivered.

It was delicious!

More people stopped by and prayed for me. Saturday is busy with the praying folks. Gotta keep the devil away!!!

The devil came around today and tried to grab my good arm and we had another go around about THAT.

I won! DING DING!

Also, the antibiotic cream for the bad arm finally showed up, so I stand a chance now of fighting this staph infection.

DING DING! I won again!

Now I am positively EXHAUSTED! I tried to go for a walk, but my ears hurt and I got dizzy, so I came back to bed again.

The angel nurse, just came back here to see if I was OK. She is a true angel and I like her alot!

I am very berry tired again. So I am going nite nite now...

826pm and the mermaid is bushed!


2009 08 08 ceiling doesn't have such good graphics...

FUNNY STUFF!!!


I had mentioned it was NICE to have my laptop around now that I could do more than just stare at the ceiling...

...the email reply...

yah, that's really handy you got da laptop!! it keeps you connected and entertained too!

ceiling doesn't have such good graphics...

I burst out laughing! It is SO true...


And here's a funny cat card... (the purring made me cry!)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The patients are going on strike again. We want

better treatment or else we going to um....

hmmm...

Well, we're having trouble coming up with an

ultimatum, but...'

we'll think of SOMETHING...

We've thought about commandeering a Wham-bulance and

go for a joy ride...

If the staff can't find us... maybe that will

scare them into treating us better when they do

find us.. tee hee hee

Problem is, we're trying to figure out who is

strong enough to drive.

Looks like I am gong to be the designated driver,

cause I have use of both feet and one arm and

that's more than anyone else around here has at

the moment...

We could play the sirens and run out to Carrot Bay

and drive right up in front of the Carnival Stage

and park the wham-bulance up front and enjoy the

live music.

I so wanted to hear Maxi Priest

Hey baby baby it's a wide world...

ALSO, I bet my favorite leather sandal maker is out there! Boo hoo hoo, I can't go shopping for his custom leather sandals... I just love his work!

In the hospital, I am wearing my old um, hmm, what-cha-call-its, um..

CROGS! um, no,

CLOCKS! um, Crocks! Crocs?

anyhow the plastic comfy ugly shoes...





2009 08 08 208pm Survived Lunch...

Lunch wasn't that bad, except they brought me a pork chop and a flimsy plastic fork to eat it with.

The fork broke.

So I washed my paws and well, ate with them! Lately it's been plastic wear coming with the food, no idea why. Maybe they are out of dish washing soap. There seems to be a chronic shortage here of very basic supplies.

I've never seen Kleenex tissues. When I asked for some, they brought me folded paper towels from the bathroom dispenser. But now we are completely out of those, so NO paper towels at all anymore.

I asked around and the staff says they are finished.

For a few days last week, we had no toilet paper. Whether this is corruption or poor planning, no one knows. I feel sorry for the staff, working under these conditions. I feel sorry for the patients.

GOOD NEWS........

The docs said I might go home in a week or two.

BAD NEWS.....

I probably won't go home 100% well.

Tired..... today I am just VERY tired.

But........... I had surprise company! And that was FUN FUN FUN!




2009 08 08 718am Woke up Alive!

I'm sore and tired and my body clock is sooooooooooo confused, but I woke up alive and that's always a good sign!

I don't know how or why my body clock is destroyed, I hope that is just a temporary side effect!

I woke up last night and gauged it to be 430am and lawdy mercy, it was almost 1am. It used to be I could name the time, without a clock, and typically be within 10 minutes of being right.

Now I am always wrong and confused. But my body isn't on a schedule here. It depends on the maintenance and the nursing shift.

Since the air conditioning was repaired, I am catching up on my sleep. But also, the nurses keep waking me up for drugz or stat check, or whatever they call it, when they wake you up to see if you are dead or alive.

Since my ANGEL brought in a fan, I've been running it and I feel VERY spoiled. It seems to speed up the air conditioning and make it a lot cooler.

Funny, I am used to living with just a fan and no air conditioning at home, my apartment has no A/C. But being sick and cranky, well that is different.

The air conditioning doesn't really cool here as much as it does seem to take away from the humidity.

I hope an angel shows up with food today. The food quality has plummeted again. Nobody (no restaurants) deliver "prepared" food in Tortola that I know of.

It's a concept used around the world that has never been used here. Go figure... I could be wrong though, it seems I have read that some place downtown delivers downtown, just that I can't remember WHO and if it's myth or truth or not and does the hospital count as downtown.

If anyone knows, you can always write me at:

DearMissMermaid AT aol.com

You can change the AT to you know what!!!

My spell heckler seems real fickle today on this program. I think I will cat nap until the breakfast arrives.

Breakfast is typically a stack of bread and the white cream of what and something else thrown on the plate. Yesterday it was a tiny slice of turkey, and it tasted pretty good. Sometimes instead of the Cream of What we get this super high sugary cereal flakes and boiling milk.

I haven't seen the chocolate Ovaltine in quite a while. It's boiled evaporated milk they bring me around. The morning after the heat wave, I was sitting here in a big puddle of sweat with about an hour's sleep to my name when they brought in a cup of the boiling Cream of What and the cup of boiling milk, I asked the nurse if they were trying to kill me.

She said it was a Caribbean t'ing to have all this evaporated hot milk at breakfast, that she once visited America and was startled to find they drink their milk cold and that is wasn't at all thick like the canned evaporated milk.

I told her I would do ANYTHING to get a cup of ice...

I won't tell you what I did, but I did get the cup of ice! YIPPEE!

I poured the boiling milk over it and let it cool down to drinking temperature. It was WONDERFUL!

21 more minutes until today's mystery breakfast shows up. I already found a cheerful nurse who let me have my yogurt this morning and that was NICE.

Friday, August 07, 2009

2009 08 07 721pm MIRACLES

The air conditioning was repaired today AND a dear sweet angel brought me a stand fan, so now I am super cool!

Yeah, Baby!

Here's a recap of WHAT HAPPENED to the MERMAID...

On the 21st of July, I was out and about all day trying to run errands and that evening with a friend from half way around the world. I didn't feel too well, but thought I was being lazy. Actually, as I look back at my logs and blogs, notes, diaries, I haven't felt well in quite a while, but thought I was suffering from being LAZY...

I even took a short vacation, thinking it would jump start me again, and was sick much of my vaction and bewilderingly scared at times.

I had no idea I was really SICK and getting sicker, and just a time bomb ready to explode!

On the 22nd of July I woke up seriously ill and thought my dinner from the night before may not have been cooked right. I will spare you much of the gore and give you the SHORT CUT!

Then my breathing became difficult and a sneeze went uncompleted and at some point I realized I couldn't speak or breathe or move!

IT WAS TERRIFYING!!!

I thought, that's IT, you just wake up DEAD one day and your life is over.

911 kept hanging up on me, because I couldn't speak, I began punching my neighbors' phone number and he found me, called the wham-bulance and I arrived at the Emergency Room more dead than alive.

Like a fish out of water, I flipped and flopped in the final death throws...

I was sure my life was OVER. It seemed all my dead friends and relatives were gathered around me, but they didn't seem dead at all, they seemed VERY MUCH ALIVE!

More on THAT later...

The doctor on duty hooked me up to a ton of equipment and phone calls were made and more doctors showed up and such began my LONG odyssey.

Apparently I had a massive infection in my lungs that had literally paralyzed me. I've had numerous complications since, but I do feel confident I am now getting great care.

Now the medical community is still MILES behind when it comes to any sort of holistic or alternative therapies. Because my life has sat so close on the edge I have a long list of POSITIVE things I do and a long list of negative things I REFUSE to do.

For instance, I do have Internet access but I REFUSE to watch the news (Very depressing, bad for my recuperation) and so on. I am literally avoidng a long list of negative things.

I pray for miracles and angels. And when I stumble across the devil, I try to avoid them at all costs (but the devil IS HERE and she's looking for souls to steal!!!)

Many ministers and lay persons have shown up to pray over me and I welcome ALL. (apparently they know about the devil here too!)

I meditate and chant. Years ago, I spent a bloody fortune with a real hypnotist and I've recalled all that I learned and spent HOURS upon HOURS focused on a dot on the ceiling, willing my body to GET WELL through self-hypnosis. (Another short cut explanation).

I try to THANK everybody and be a gracious patient, in spite of being in a TON of pain much of the time and unable to stomach much of the drugz without yogert intervention and so on etc. I know I've been a cranky awful patient at times, and I FAILED to understand the seriousness of being brought back to LIFE.

I focus on LAUGHTER and COMEDY and try to find a way to turn negative into positive and so on.

My mind wanders EVERYWHERE! And now I get up and out of bed and wander all over the hospital and up and down stair ways and try to build up my strength.

I smile and get dressed, I am not wearing bed clothes, just old clothes and the hospital has been keeping my meager wardrode washed for me.

This hospital is lacking in many many ways, but the people working here for the most part are doing the BEST they can under the very trying circumstances.

I have no idea who is reading this blog, so there are many things I can not mention here for reaons of my privacay or the privacy of others.

I have NO IDEA when I will go home and I MISS MY KITTIES something awful. BOO hoo hoo!!!

I believe I will LIVE and actually get out of here ALIVE one day. People stop by now and then and say I look GREAT and I never know if they are being polite or if my positive energy is shining through. It's NOT EASY to be so upbeat and positive 24/7 but if I slip away, I could slide right under and that would be, well, the end of my life.

These wonderful people worked very hard and SAVED MY LIFE and the least I could do is try to make it out of here vertically, not horizontally.

I AM ONE LUCKY LADY!!!

I imagine, when I get out of here, my future will be vastly different.

But, a little change or a lot of change, it's all GOOD if I get out alive! (AND if the devil doesn't steal my soul!)

The numerous emails, visitors, get well cards and various bulltin board postings, have been eventually finding their way to me, and I am SHOCKED. I feel the rally, I feel the energy, I think all this POSTIVE stuff is just what it's gonna take to get me out of here ALIVE!

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR TIRELESS SUPPORT AND KIND WORDS AND WISHES. I HAD NO IDEA, JUST NO IDEA.... SO MANY WONDERFUL FOLKS EXISTED ON OUR FINE PLANET!

Calling all angels...



2009 08 07 244pm Blues All Right...

I sit here and cry and I don't know why.

There is a good team of doctors from around the world, working on my case. The support staff, nurses, orderlies, assistants, and such, all seem about 90% GOOD and many are angels.

Sure there are a few devils thrown in the mix, some who are better suited to working in a prison or a torture camp *tee hee hee* but for the most part, somebody has whipped this place into shape. NO ONE seems neglected here, just the opposite, sometimes we feel a tad annoyed or that we are being "practiced upon".

Rumors are because the hospital is a government project and well the government has been known to be um less than 100% NON-PIRATE.... TEE HEE HEE... that maybe....

Anyhow, I am in a delicate balance here...

To have ended up rushed by wham-bulance... thinking my short life was suddenly over...

And to be given a SECOND chance at life...

Despite the roller coaster food ride...

The staff has their own ways of treating t'ings...

Some are overly occupied with the patients' good health, others are kinda slack...

But there is fairly good morale here...

Sure it's been HARD being the only mermaid around...

Sometimes the Doctors' orders are heeded immediately and sometimes not...

The rules are not so strict here, they are more flexible than one would imagine....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A gentle reader sent this message in a bottle and I though I would share it,

After reading your last post, I felt there was only one thing I could
do to help - lay down some serious blues. So here goes - and I hope
these lines bring a faint smile to your face.

John in Seattle, following the saga of struggle that you are so
defiantly documenting.

Oh Dear Miss Mermaid,
you feel all alone,
your sisters and brothers
all seem to be gone
the world's gone all crazy
the food tastes like shit
the hospital's stinky
you don't like it one bit

You got the blues, oh yeah,
those icky, sicky blues
those icky, sicky, get-me-outta-here, blues!

Your kitties are lonely, oh yeah,
lonely all the time,
you're stuck in this white room
and the potty's got grime
The Angel's gone missin'
The Devil's too near,
And all of your fussin'
Just brings on more tears

You got the blues, oh yeah,
those icky, sicky blues
those icky, sicky, get-me-outta-here, blues!

And what's with the doctors,
they seem so confused
they try this and that
but they got nothing to lose!
So let's drum up some juju
and give the Devil his due
and let loose the angels
and get you out of this stew!

You got the blues, oh yeah,
those icky, sicky blues
those icky, sicky, get-me-outta-here, blues!

2009 08 07 1134 am Not Sure this is Funny...

Somebody might, just might, be playing games with me...

My air conditionging came back on at 850am this morning, exactly 24 hours after it went off. Alot of staff comes and goes for the 9am start.

I was just fixing to take another cold shower. Now I leapt out of bed, closed up the windows, put the plastic shutter type things back up, as best as could, closed up the curtains, even though I love the view, and still took a cold shower and put on a fresh dress thingy.

THe one two I wore last night STUNK something awful cause I sweated all night long. I finally got clean sheets last night and then sweated all night. *sigh*

My laundry came back today and I sent the two stinky dresses from the 100 degree sweat out to wash.

It's so confusing here. Most folks NEVER wear a name card so you have no idea who is dealing with you or what their position is. One day I was chatting up a lady about my medical mess and suddenly she says "I better go get you a nurse about this!"

I was flabbergasted, I thought she WAS the nurse.

The angels continue to take care of the and the devils try to make my life, well, um, hellish *giggle*.

Yet being in this particular hospital is fascinating, because probably 50 or more countries are represented amongst the staff and visitors!

I just wanna CRY! TODAY is the DONKEY RACES!!!

Boo Hoo Hoo!!!

2009 08 07 610am Friday the 7th

She came bearing pills, water and the nebulizer face mask thingy. Then she pricked my finger and checked to see if I had any blood left.

Do you ever sleep? She asks me.

Not when I it's 102 and I just can't cool off! I'm surprised the staff even comes to work, this is just downright horrible conditions to work in. And heat stroke...

The air conditioning broke firs thing Monday morning and this is Friday morning and no one has shown up to fix it YET.

I am fighting for my life here, I am trying to keep things funny, upbeat, humorous, positive, ANYTHING to speed my recovery along! I even put on lipstick most days, just to feel ALIVE again. But this HEAT is just killing me now.

Like I've wasted all this energy getting well, only to be consumed by heat stroke.

Sad eh?

If ANYONE out there knows of a A/C tech that can volunteer some time, send him to the hospital to fix the medical ward before we all perish, please...




2009 08 07 458am Was That WIND?

The nurse comes and takes my stats. I tell her I feel sorry for the staff, it's not like you can call in sick when you work at the hospital and the air conditioning is broke on the hottest days of the year.

We both moan and commiserate. It has been a windless night. I tell her I have not slept much at all and she says she notices I was up most of the night.

We laugh about my ridiculously HIGH bed.

A slight breath of wind comes by and we GASP, was that the elusive wind?

TODAY is the DONKEY RACES in Carrot Bay and I just wanna cry. I wanna go so badly! My friend in the wheel chair, he says we should just sneak off and go.

He wonders outloud, if I am strong enough to push his chair around Carrot Bay Festival.

Push your chair around? I am going to park you and your chair in the shade while I race my donkey, Merman! I point to the sleek Donkey, that is tied up under the tree in the parking lot. (Merman the donkey, LOVES the hospital food...)

My wheel chair bound friend lets his eyes light up and I hand him my camera and show him how to take pictures!

Sooooooooooo... if you see a camerman in a wheelchair, a Mermaid with one good arm, and a Donkey named Merman hitchiking from somewhere near the hospital sidewalk, give us a lift to Carrot Bay please!

We be racing, mon!


2009 08 07 316am and I'm alive and hot!

Somebody just woke up and realized they were in the hospital and put up a BIG FUSS.

And it wasn't me! Not this time! It's somebody else!

I haven't slept at all tonight! I am too hot!

Tomorrow I think I MIGHT have a lead on a fan...

The wind has stopped. If the hospital food doesn't kill us, heat stroke might!

There they go again!
Somebody at the other end of the hall is very unhappy to have woken up in the hospital.

I climb out of my high bed and sneak over to the new part of the hospital, which is blissfully COOL. I find the ONLY cold water fountain and top up my water bottle.

I tiptoe back to my ward and as I pass the swoosh of the double doors, I feel like I am a cookie dough, and I have just stepped into the oven.

I climb up in the chair and into my high bed. I have it as HIGH as it will go, which makes it almost level with the windless window. A tall surgeon could do surgery here, I have it so high!