This morning a "person of knowledge" (I don't dare want to insult the good folks that are working hard to take care of us unruly sickly patients...) but to shorten "person of knowledge" to prick? Tee hee heee.. I mean this was someone is HIGH up in the chain of things, so to speak...
This, um, devil, came by and saw me all decked out in my clean dress and my hair all clean and more or less brushed and he said "OH! You are going home today!"
I looked at the all the meds dripping into my arms, removed the face mask and mumbled "I'm going home?"
"Is someone going to load up my IV's for me? Will you show me how they work? What if I get sick? Who do I call? How do I turn these things on? How do I turn them off? Will there be oxygen too? Can you show me how that works? The nurses won't let me touch it, now I am going home alone with it?
And the ambulance doesn't like to come to my neighborhood, will they come anyhow, if I call? If I can't sleep horizontal here, will I be able to sleep horizontal there, or shall I try a zillion pillows or get a bed from Red Cross or what?
I mean I had a LOAD of questions and apparently needed a crash course in self nursing. I hadn't had much sleep at all and now was WIDE awake, and thinking, this is it?
Carnival is here, and out on the sidewalk I get dumped? Be well! Go home! We found your dress, your hair is clean, go home!
Finally this DEVIL said "Oh, maybe you aren't going home yet..."
I had thoughts of cats in my mind, and THAT made me happy. I was thinking the house needed a good cleaning and veggies and fruit juice and yogurt and I sooooooooooooooo looked forward to petting my cats!
Soon the crowd of professionals crowded around my bed, the curtains were drawn, and I was spitting out questions about going home, and how to do this IV stuff and so on. Someone finally says "WHAT makes you think you are going home?"
I told them who said what and so on, and well, it was eyes rolling and so on.... stuff I explain later, Lucy...
KER-BOOM! WHAT did they SAY?
I'm not going home?
But, but, but, but, I was just told by..............
and *sniffle* and *sniffle* I truly am homesick and *sniffle* ....
I'm not going home???
Not now.
Not yet.
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A psychiatrist was sent around next, whether to certify I am certainly full blown crazy or to calm me down from my manic excitement about going home!
Not yet.
Not going home.
The bubble burst.
Soon come, but not now.
The pink dress sure makes me feel BETTER, letting my hair blow in the breeze feels GREAT.
The shrink wanted to know about my depression............. um....... that seems typical doesn't it? One day your life is fine, the next you are an experiment in a hospital bed, reduced to a river rat, full of toxins. You pray you get to go home every day and then they blow your dreams right out of the water.
And you wonder why I feel depressed? Ummmm....
Boo hoo hoo.
All the profs. marched off, they have many more patients to deal with besides wittle old me.
I settle back with my oxygen, thinking WOW, it almost happened....
I thought my miracle was here, you just wake up one day and that's it, they unplug everything and off you run, happy go lucky, a skip and jump!
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SURPRISE!!!!!
Then two friends poked their head around the curtains and LOVE is the best medicine, no doubt about it. I plastered on my smiles and struggled out of the oxygen, and off to the veranda we went and it was the NICEST visit ever, to FORGET this place for a few minutes and enjoy life.
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Back to bed, lunch came, some super tough fish with fungi (fungi was really good!) and some teeny tiny but VERY sweet treasured pieces of melon. I wanted to suck melon all day......
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I was laying about, just breathing oxygen, when suddenly another SURPRISE!!!!
Here came an Angel right out of the books, big beefy angel with long angelic grayish curls, a cherubbish face and in his massive paw I can see straight through the baggies is a big bowl of fresh fruit and YUMMY a big plain yogurt!
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THE ANGELS ARE WINNING!
I am getting out of here ONE DAY SOON,
alive and vertical!
SOON! I just know it!
You will get out. Don't worry about those knowy types, they'll have to let you go. Can't keep a Mermaid in a hospital, you know
ReplyDeleteI haven't been keeping up with your blogs for the past year and just checked in tonight from Long Beach CA. I hope you get well soon! I bought your latest book last year, but haven't got to finish it yet. I've just retired from teaching elementary school and hope to get back to reading and 'tings, as you would say. Love to you, Cathyfirstmate.
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