Wednesday, August 12, 2009

2009 08 12 631am Woke up Alive Again

I check on this old trawler every day as if it were my own boat. It's part of my view from the hospital. Seen, are the carnival flags, that I wish they would leave up until they fall apart. They are all over the island and give it a festival feel.

Typically they pay a fortune to bring them all down and throw into the garbage, kind of sad. They should leave them up until at least Christmas.

As for me, I have tons of homework to do to decipher the doctor's hand writing and look up this mountain of drugs they propose to keep a mermaid alive.

I don't have health insurance, I was canceled years ago for making claims and for some bureaucratic term called "pre-existing condition". I've never been real fond of insurance companies, I seem to have always been on the losing end. Pay your premiums and if you dare to file a claim, they harass you then cancel you. Grrrrrr...

So, I have to think this through real carefully.

I just CAN NOT imagine going home today and being on 12 drugs to barely stay alive. That ain't living in my book.

Oh and I was told that I must get rid of my cats! WHAT THE HECK??? The docs are crazy if they think I am getting rid of my wittle fur balls.

Let's get rid of my crazy neighbor! The one who pours concrete one day then jack hammers it the next so that my bedroom is constantly flooded with teeny tiny concrete particles!

My white blood cells are still out of whack and they are sending me home with a diagnosis I think is partly wrong and giving me pat advise like "get rid of your pets, get rid of carpet, get rid of curtains". Well, I don't have carpet nor curtains. I have bamboo shades.

I do want to get rid of the landlords' cardboard moldy chest of drawers. Their rental agent bought this piece of junk and put it in the apartment. It keeps growing mold! YUCK!

But twelve drugs?

I don't see how I am going to deal with that.

Seems half my problems and drugs now, are medically induced! The staph infection from the IV and the angry nurse...

The pathetic tongue with the awfully painful thrush caused by over enthusiastic use of meds without yogurt...

Now I am just hungry often, as I can't eat much, it is SO painful. So I sit here with these awful bellyahces, wishing I had soup or soft food, something that didn't hurt so bad to eat.

The chemically induced diabetes, my nice low cholresterol that has soared since living on this erratic hospital diet...

I know they SAVED MY LIFE, but for what? To kill me all over again?

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